Overcompensate to compensate

You have something you want to change: a thought process or habit you want to fix.

Let’s use the metaphor of a bunch of bricks on a seesaw. Right now all the bricks are stacked on one side. This is the way you have been.

To make a change, most people don’t do enough.

If you do something small and sensible, it’s like moving one brick to the other side. You’re still unbalanced.

You think you made the change, but it’s not accounting for:

• a lifetime of doing it the other way,
• the environment that made you that way, and
• the pressure from friends to stay that way.

To make a change, you have to be extreme. Go all the way the other way. It will feel like overcompensating, but you have to stack a huge pile of bricks on the other side.

This new you sounds extreme and exciting. You’ll think you’re going to be completely changed.

But actually the old stuff is still there. So really this is what you needed to do to balance — to compensate for that cultural baggage, self-identity, habit, and history.

Once you’re balanced, the new perspective will sink in and become your new normal.