Dismissed!
Dismissing gives me a quick little lift.
“That guy is an idiot!”
“That place sucks!”
There.
Now I feel superior.
Now I don’t have to think about it.
I don’t even need first-hand experience.
I can just echo any complaint I’ve heard.
I’ve done this with restaurants, religions, political ideologies, and entire countries with millions of people.
Pffft.
Dismissed!
It works best if done publicly, to signal my status.
“Look at me, above that!”
It’s a drag when I have to look past my initial reaction, and actually get to know something or someone.
Just sit there and listen to someone that doesn’t think like me?
Open up stuff I’d already closed?
Ugh!
It’s too hard!
How am I supposed to dominate when I can’t even attack?
OK.
After hearing more, I’ll admit, it’s not as bad as I thought.
These people aren’t idiots.
Different values than I’m used to — different trade-offs, but OK.
I get it.
I kinda like it.
In fact, getting to know it is really rewarding.
It’s like finding a whole floor of your house that you didn’t know was there.
It expands your definition of home and self.
When you look through its window, you see a bunch of new friends, who invite you over and welcome you, happy that you can also appreciate what they love.
Sorry Derek, but I think I'll dismiss this post. Heaven forbid I think more deeply about it and gain a new perspective!
I gripped my truths with iron might,
Each opinion locked up tight.
But wisdom whispered, "Let them flow,
The more you learn, the less you know."
The ultimate skill isn't being right,
But dancing between day and night.
Like dawn and dusk that blend and flow,
Teaching more than one way to know.
I think dismissal, actively dismissing something (or someone) as being less interesting to us, is a facet of intuition instead of a need to assert dominance. After all, what defines us to the outside world if not our affirmations, actions, and stated interests, based upon our internal values and beliefs? Discrimination need not be negative. If one doesn’t discriminate, one can become overwhelmed with too much possibility. That said, you are right that dismissing something closes the door of possibility. One’s intuition about something or someone can be wrong, or faulty. Learning to question our assumptions from time to time can be very beneficial. Our point of view is not the only one, and cannot be considered the “right” (Correct, only legitimate) one. I understand your premise here, Derek, that dismissal can be a denial to oneself, and not about the thing being dismissed.
Did you actually find a whole floor of your house you didn't know about? Or is that a metaphor?
Intrigued!
So, dismissed is cool, but people should open mind? Actually one thing I like is leave. I saw a cartoon online. The actress's favorite thing at school is to leave.
A challenge right there, I’ll give it a try. Finding new friends sounds scary. What’s your thoughts on that?
Recieved my copy of “Useful not true” today. Thanks from Sweden!
I suppose some folks have a lifestyle choice of feeling superior, which can lead to expensive buying.
Others live feeling humble and equal, which can save money.
I have noticed that my peers who value honesty do not, or cannot, do superiority.
Young students who mingle with different people at college are learning a life-long skill.
We can all learn to mingle and not dismiss if we "set our intention."
I love the GE&H image as the epitaph to this peice.
Brings back fond memories from a simpler time, simpler messaging and perhaps a more accepting world less likely to dismiss without at least some contemplation.
Is the new art of dismissal a kind of filter created by too much information, where the dismissal itself if done in a public forum turns into yet more clutter. Or is it more disquieting, simply an act of reinforcing closed minded attitudes and attempting to improve standing or even simply compensating for a fragile sense of self?
Heard you on Tim's podcast talking about dismissing: Coffee/Python/Rats/China and Dubai. Started listening whilst not sleeping, jet lagged after a long trip, had hoped to doze off but now I'm here typing this having listened all the way through, enjoyed it very much, so many thought provoking points touched on in such a short time, thanks to you both.
Nice to meet you.
Ooooh! Good insight! A survival mechanism for information overload. Thank you. — Derek
Derek, I see on today's now page (Nov 23) that you are pleased to get back to blogging. I'm glad. I blog too. You may find that deliberate edited blogging, unlike tweets or spewing on social media, is a fine tool for thinking.
On blogger Paul Graham's most recent essay, about the value of writing, he includes a quote by Leslie Lamport, "If you're thinking without writing, you only think you're thinking."
We are all one
Dear Derek,
I appreciate you, your mind, and your heart just as it is. Thank you for being who you are. Sending you love and light wherever in the world you may be. 🙏🏻💖✨
Derek, you and I know that we cannot just say 'Yes' to everything. A lot of things have to be dismissed else we'll get overwhelmed by all that is out there.
Shitty things really do exist, and they are not worth our precious time and attention. So, dismissed!!!
Dismissed! is lazy, it's easy, it's the way of the loser.
Dismissed! is instinct, the result of gained wisdom, the way of the winner.
Timely...
we were never apart
joined at the heart
i am always apart
hear in my heart
the story you tell
don't ring a bell
I'm watching the door
from the seventh floor
man in the high castle
far above the hassle
half of the earth
was once on mars
half of mars
was once on ours
who are we really
planets or stars
neither, we're not here
we came from nowhere
there's no place here
there's no place there
we were never apart
joined at the heart
Well said. This post really made me think deeply myself, my disposition.
Very good!
I love this new format - succinct and to the point - its like a double expresso for the soul!
"There.
Now I feel superior."
Yep. I had a lot of this with respect to the Bible. It's been said that the Bible is a mirror... and after decades of nuanced dismissals of traditional interpretations of the gospel, last month I finally saw that my "educated" approach was mostly an ego game. How freeing it has been to give that up and trust in the Spirit!
Kind regards,
David
“When you look out of its window, you see a bunch of new friends, who invite you over and welcome you, happy that you can also appreciate what they love.”
I like that, especially reading it as an invitation to find common interest with people as individuals. Calls to embrace “what we all have in common” aren’t working for me in 2024 America, but appreciating my Mormon friend’s sense of humor and his obsession with LotR, that provides a lot of common ground and opportunity for actual affection.
The only addition is that "dismissing" can be a tool: when you do need to get past something quickly.
Reading along while listening hits differently. There's something in hearing words come alive through sound.
So True! Sometimes, I'm open and sometimes, I'm not. My unbiased choice! LOL
I used to think that all Americans were arses, I don’t no why. God dang it if pretty much everyone I’ve met in person have been lovely. I do live in New Zealand though, so maybe only the non arses travel.
Dismissal seems like a good idea right up until I speak it. Then I hear my ego and it’s obnoxious and I feel ashamed.
It’s a complex world and we need to find shortcuts so we can navigate it before our heads have a ‘Scanners’ moment.
Nuance can leave you lost in the wilderness of nuance.
Certainty of beliefs gives you directions.
So if you want to get anything done quickly, you need a certain amount of bigotry. Preferably unconscious so you don’t have to feel ashamed.
It fits in well with swimming with the tide too.
Bit embarrassing when that tide leads you stranded in the sea, but hey, at least you’ve got company!
very surprised to see you use a piece of Dr. Seuess artwork without accreditation- did you actually pay for that? Also putting © 2024 Derek Sivers right underneath creates a misleading impression that you created it. I was going to dismiss it but after reading your post......
Oops! Fixed. Thank you. — Derek
Derek good to hear from you I hope all is well for you and your loved ones in thi holiday time.
Derek this wtrange I was thinking about you yesterday... Thank for geting in touch boy you sure are getting around. I will write more later carpal tunnel blues.
A word I resonate with is discernment. It's not so fast to dismiss, stays observant, mindful.
The post made me dance solo on the New Year’s Eve. Thx!
You mean, I ought to Stare down my prejudices?
Plenty there to consider.
Also, a partial answer to strive for that elusive 'Peace on Earth.'
I too, (like commenter #8) like the illustration by Doctor Seuss.
An excuse for dismissing, besides not wanting "a drag," is fear of being uncomfortable (which you implied) or various degrees of fear, right up to terror.
The same artist who did Green Eggs and Ham, as in your illustration, covered fear too, in his book about a character being scared of pants (trousers) with nobody inside them. One dark night, the pants even went by riding a bicycle! Scarey!
But at last the character learns to bridge his terror and say hello and be friends.