Time is personal. Your year changes when your life changes.

I very much agree, but I like using those dates as markers of where I want to be and what I want accomplished by that date! I can not really ever remember any major life change ever happening on those dates, I just set items in my mind that I want to have attained or have made progress towards for around that date or Holiday!

Thank you for putting into words what I've always privately felt. And for giving dignity to the idea of personal dates; I've always worried that I am too selfish.

Nice article. Mandatory holidays are my least enjoyed ones.

I met a person that was born in Africa, he said he had no knowledge of his age.
Can you comment ?

Thanks Derek.
Reminded looking back that my most memorable birthday was my 49th. Very special. My 50th on the otherhand was a complete damp squib.
“damp squib”!! ☺ thanks for the best laugh of the day, Paul! — Derek

Have to agree on the “farkers” (fake markers)
Had to think long and hard, but the year began when I took a cruise to Alaska!

Hi Derek!
Love your thoughts here..and yes so agree, our lives are not manipulated; more of a treasure map waiting to be discovered☺ I am lOOking forward!!
So great to hear your brilliant words Derek!!
Have a beautiful day!
Rachel ☺

THe two most meaningful dates in anyone's life is the day you were born and the day you die. What you do between those dates is most important. God has a plan for each and every life. If we do it the way God planned it, good, if we failed to do so, sad.

One of my most important roles as a teach (and as a human) is to examine assumptions. The more basic, the better! I love the way you look at things that tend to be accepted without examination and ask "why?". While I do use calendar landmarks for their convenience (and the happy excuse to drink some champagne on New Years' Eve), my year began when I started releasing a series of videos of my performances of my music. Have a look, everyone, on YouTube if curious. My next year will start when I sit down to get a book written that I've been laying the groundwork for.

Just for fun, the Romans had a unit of time called a Saeculum -- this was a period that began with a specific event and would end when all who participated in it died. Happy Saeculum, folks!!

I like holidays and special occasions. I also love your idea of celebrating life-changing events. It’s good to celebrate life as often as possible! Let the festivities begin 🥳!

Actually 2019 was a bad year .... it ended 14 June 2019 when our rescue Treeing Walker Coonhound passed after a vet gave her a stroke with vaccinations and another vet overdosed her with anesthesia during an MRI.

Are you saying that we should have no common dates that a group/nation/world can celebrate together? Also how we measure time is not really arbitrary.

When we look at the reality of holidays and who and when they were decided we let go of a fantasy that those days are REALLY those days. Jesus was not born on 12/25, Thanksgiving dates were the start of a genocide, Easter moves around according to the full moon, no signatures were on the declaration until a month after the forth of July (and it took 19 months to get the rest), and the year does not start on January first..
On and on.
The power of belief is such as beautiful strength that even the ambitiously blind hang on to it for a source of "how to be".
I expose that last sentence to work in my favor (as does everyone) and see through the structured "supposed to believe" with emphasis on "what is it to me?" It turns friends away and creates what seems a less exciting reality (Santa Clause) but at least my dreams lived are real- self created and can be produced as often as I engage in it. The power of thought is the most amazing thing known to man (enter 'prayer').

Hi Derek!
I hope the festive season has been a good one for you.
I enjoyed discovering Bergson and his distinction between pure time (real duration or lived consciousness that is continuous and indivisible) and mathematical time (discrete units). Time is mind-dependent and exists merely in our consciousness! you might like this article too: www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2452315117300140

May 2020 bring us clarity of vision ! :)

TY, Derek for this, and for asking. Answer: December 26 when I got my bi-valve pacemaker

Love your thinking, Derek. I agree - no tree or other Hallmark holiday frenzies here.
I will keep this in perspective as I cook/clean/schlep for our New Year’s Day party.
Come by for some ‘ganic black eyed peas and superbad ginger/turmeric/cinnamon chai.... near Will Rogers State park LA!
Would love to chat one day.
- ‘Takes a Village !
Dan Bonow
danbonow.com
ps- if in LA, come by today or tomorrow, I can use the help!

This is precisely why I despise weddings. They are scheduled days of joy, but you cannot guarantee that you, your fiance, or any guests will be joyous on any given day. The best days of your life are not planned. They just happen.

My life began 19 years ago when I left corporate America and became the scourge of society and became self-employed. Playing piano for retirement & nursing homes was a mission I NEVER dreamed of and I had to take about a $50K pay cut to start the mission God sent me on.

Now with 402 currently booked performances for 2020, I celebrate my life with prayer and thanksgiving every morning. I like what you said, people get all about Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day, I do both of those many times every day and will continue to do so for as long as I live and breathe. Other than Christmas, the only marker that I regularly celebrate is the marriage to the love of my life on my 50th birthday in 2001. Thanks for keeping me on the mailing list and best of everything to you and your family.

Very insightful, Derek (as always).
Yes, I agree that your personal beginnings are more important than the calendar dates. Recently, I just retired from my career in Automotive. While music has always been my passion, I was forced to make it secondary to my "day job". Now, I can refocus and devote more time to making music-- my first love.
It is freeing and invigorating for me and I look forward to this new chapter in my life! Robb

You are right to a point but sometimes the question might be. Does it really matter? My dad says personal events like marriage is like the next day is day one of the rest of my life. My dad says as a believer you keep every day as unto the Lord so that is the command from Christ himself when asked about new moons or sabbaths so your point is totally in alignment with that. The biggest day said my dad was when he saw the granted forgiveness of sins by deciding to except the teachings of Christ NOT at all modern day Christianity how ever. I have not idea why you would need my comment but please note that I live to respect others differences so be aware that if I knew you better I would respect you for you.

EXACTLY!
This has been my way of thinking for many years now.
I make it a point to give gifts when I feel like giving gifts--NEVER because of some pre-defined day.
I am equally grateful each and every day, and I make a point of noticing that especially when I feel "off."
Years ago I noticed that a friend always responded to the stock "How are you?" question with an enthusiastic "I am blessed!" The truth of that resonated through my soul. I AM blessed, with ALL that is, ALL the time.
Thanks for sharing that you respond to life in a similar way.

I liked you poem;I am calling it "Food for Thought". Also, most people look forward to noted holiday/dates for celebration and for some the only times they get to have such celebrations or feels down because of not having significant celebrations.

for me my new day/new year always begin at "Midnight" each day.

Keep up the good writing

Jean

Yes, have a happy new year indeed. Fun ironic outro D.

For a lot of the societal calendar dates we are 'supposed to' expected to respond like Pavlovs slavering consumerist dogs. Woof! Good Buy Good Buy-er! And there is no real holiday moment or feeling anyway cause nothing ever stops. There is a prescribed activity for each prescribed 'holiday'

Previous possible universal sacred calendar moments are now cheapened & feel trivial. They are made mostly consumer driven or have a social reinforcement to feel 'some way' towards a nationalism or supposedly universal belief.

Marketing Calendars have become a dose no sooner is one sort of calendar date upon us than another jumps up like whack a mole. They become inane, boring and samey (what u said) - ultimately meaningless and repetitive. I guess we should be glad there isn't Halloween muzaks to start up in July on the Radio.

But is the answer to atomize and break the 'one' mirror into tiny fragments and say this Sliver of broken reflection is Sivers day! If the given days are BS make our own meanings I suppose so. Meaning and story is all we really love - so we go back to our raw materials and say "who matters to me? what matters and how can I recognize it."

Today 30th Dec is BACON DAY – FALLING NEEDLES FAMILY FEST DAY – NATIONAL BICARBONATE OF SODA DAY! so I guess get your own day registered before someone else does.

All the best for all your new and momentous holiday moments.

At # 4, Fathertime asked about not having an age number.

'Tis something I've thought about down the years. A fictional detective (in the excellent Travis McGee series) said, "Be careful when your age ends in a zero." He meant people may de something silly out of panic or despair. I for one try to be like the African, having little or no numerical age. (Also I sometimes divide my life by sevens, not tens)

I confess that at age 35, half way through the Bible's 70 (threescore and ten) I started calling myself "middle aged," to everyone's surprise, but that was partly to remind myself to refrain from being an eternal graduate student (not literally) in terms of socio-economic behaviour.

As a chameleon, method actor and fiction writer I find it natural to act the age of whatever crowd I'm among: Just another reminder that age is not a number. When I was part of a Toastmasters club that met at the university someone said of me, "You're timeless" and that's about right.

Something queer: After graduation in my career program, if I went for a job interview, only one or two classmates, at most, competed for the same job. If age is seen as some kind of a formal competition race, then it shouldn't be: People, like graduates, scatter to catch their own winds, so there's no footrace. ...

Which reminds me: I have lately been thinking over someone saying, "If you can see a clear path, then you are on someone else's path, which is not right for you." I am still worrying over that one, like a dog worrying a bone. ... I can't imagine Derek climbing a tree and looking down at different people's paths worn across the meadow to choose one.

Speaking of Derek, not letting society dictate my age is right up there with not letting society dictate that my romance is not on February 13 or 15, although it is easier on those days to get a restaurant table. Which brings me back to Derek's essay. Happy New Year, everybody.

I know that for me 2020 will start in February when, after over ten years of dreaming about it, I finally begin my PhD

I feel meaningful moments happen randomly. Often when least expected and different than we think it would be. And I agree they can’t be forced or manufactured by a date or holiday. Thanks Derek!

Derek,
Spot on man....been feeling that way for over 82 years now.
Don't let the old man in !!!
Yell when you are in town, you know where we hang, if I'm
not on a plane
J

Timely, as usual, Derek! How strange that I had been thinking this week about writing to you about a major change (in which you have some history). But that will happen in a separate e-mail, and may not happen today. ~Mark

I totally agree. The 12-Week Year has been great for me. You decide when you want to start it. I've started 12-week years at various times throughout the last few years. Sometimes, I don't complete a year and I start a new one because it's time.

My new year started on Dec 10th, 2019, the last day of the Date with Destiny seminar I attended. To say it was life changing is accurate, but also doesn't carry the weight of the transformation that happened over that week. Thanks for reinforcing this principle for me today, it's a nice reminder that I don't have to WAIT, that it's all in my control when I celebrate, when I love others, etc etc.

Dates... Funny..... My life changed forever, career-wise, August 24th 1978, after I spent 2 hours with my friend writing and recording a novelty song: "Roly Poly Fish Heads". At that moment, I began my long and legitimate career that carries to this day. August 23rd of that year wasn't a special date.... Hehe..

Wow... That was so mind blowing, Derek.
Just did just realize when I read it...
I was true, and this will be my another consideration about all problems that I had. And it indeed woke me up to another dimension of undertanding about this life. Thanks, Derek. Wish you all the best.

As many things should be, times of importance should be driven intrinsically versus extrinsically!

I agree! My 2019 began on March 2 and it is shaping my plans for the future.

H@Ppy NeW YE@R dErEk !

This has been the worst year of my life. I look forward to the ball dropping. I always have. It represents a moment in time where we as a whole can communicably agree to start over. It gives us the power personally and to the mind and heart. Especially all that is at stake in our lives and in the world that follows real time. My life has been a personal triumph and tragedy. But because I'm here, I stand to wake up and get on the horse again. I've fallen off it a thousand times, but it's the only ride in town. And when that ball drops, it gives me the reason as fain, opaque, illusion, whatever it is it's a symbol. And the church doesn't do it for me. It's a pagan holiday, and it means we get another chance, and that is worth its symbolism. Drop the ball. I'm ready for it this time. This time I brought a bat with me. Happy New Year Derek!

Tradition is as old as humankind.

Yes, I agree, make our own markers and turning points in life. I see a lot of people forfeiting their own sovereignty and agency to things like New Years resolutions and I’m not a fan of that.

But to call scheduled holidays and birthdays forced, disconnective, and thoughtless looks dismissive and potentially disconnective in itself to me.

It is incredibly beautiful and human to gather together for regular ritual, whether it happens every day, once a week, or once a year.

Thank you, Derek - seems a little dark for you.

Here in time, everything changes in every moment.
Think of universal dates as encouraging reminders.
Be in the season of love and gratitude always.
Celebrate every Holy Instant!

My year begins Now - the only real time.
Nice picture :)

I have to agree with this! What is very bizarre, is that the most memorable moments in life might not really occur in a flash (a one day event) but gradually over time, only really hitting a peak because you notice it.

Through sturm und drang, a marriage tumbles through the ups and the downs. Then, a period goes by where your partner and you become more connected than ever. When you realize that for years you have been enjoying each other and gaining meaning and depth like no other time in your life, this is bigger than almost any event of your life. The entrance into these glorious days.

No date, but broad marker across an array of time.

Glorious days.

I could say mine began February 15, the day the breakup of a 10-yr relationship began- or May 22 when I finally had everything moved out from my old home. I like the idea of celebrating someone’s meaningful day over an arbitrary one. That said, I’ll happily take the arbitrary ones as opportunities to hang and celebrate with loved ones.

This year began when I started learning about myself more than in years prior. :)

Derek Interesting read. For the first time my husband and I took our four, now young adult children, away for Christmas. Puerto Rico was beautiful. So was missing the hustle and bustle of tradition and what expectations we had baked into Christmas for ourselves.

At 55 I am learning that freedom and happiness flow from making unexpected choices that delight you.

My year really began when I released my album on 1/11/2019, pretty close to the 'new year' on the calendar, however my next new year won't begin until I've released the second album, which will hopefully be in march! A simultaneous year began in July when I propose to my fiancé. Another year will begin when we get married in 7 months! It's been a great year :)

So glad you are continuing to open Derek!! Fantastic...

Truth. But I’m happy about “the 20-20’s”. I’m able to look back on the 80’s and 90’s in general. For some reason 2000 and on I have to pinpoint an actual year when I’m recalling things. 19 years with no identity. I know it’s a little silly. Just the way my brain works. 🌞 thanks Derek.

Sure yes. But also no.

I think this take misses the reason we mark "holy days" in the first place. They're a practice. We don't celebrate Thanksgiving because we feel gratitude. We celebrate it IN ORDER TO feel gratitude. As a rehearsal. To remind us to choose gratitude all the time.

Done right, the practice expands beyond itself. Done right, a holy day makes EVERY day holy.

Keeping Thanksgiving helps us be thankful all the time. Marking New Years on an arbitrary date reminds us to embrace change and celebrate transition whenever it actually comes.

Done wrong, these practices have the opposite effect, just as you say. When we think New Years is the only time of transition, then yes, it needs to be dismantled for a while. When we start to think the symbol is the thing itself, it's time to set that symbol aside for a while. It's time to remind ourselves that it's only arbitrary.

But that arbitrariness started as a feature, not a bug. The symbol has something to teach us if we can see it in the right way.

I agree Derek,
It's like on Christmas, which is the birth of Jesus; yet everyone is giving each other presents and forgetting about the Birthday Boy! Most people are Sheep that follow the rest so it's refreshing to hear someone on the same page! Happy new Year Derek! Plz share my art; proceeds go to help feed and clothe the homeless!

www.amazon.com/Reaper-Cometh-KingsXecutioner/dp/B07ZLK68ZH/ref=sr_1_1?crid=10JAEIN6MDG4A&keywords=the+reaper+cometh&qid=1577724619&sprefix=the+repaer+cometh%2Caps%2C382&sr=8-1

Keeping with your usual astute observation, what is the significance of a "year"?

For me, I don't give weight to a new year, month, century, or decade.

I note and celebrate life whenever I see those I love, my wonderful life/love partner, my grandchildren, my neighbors' grandchildren, my neighbors, and any true kindnesses, laughs, views in nature, grand or tiny. So many more of these than the number of years in life...

Was thinking about you last week Derek, wondering when we'd be hearing from you next. (Books?)

I am causing a new life-era by searching for a new home. I moved to Puerto Rico and haven't found my true home here yet. Your message reminds me, when I do find that home, to celebrate!!!

BTW, another thing I don't do because it's "time" is eat when I'm not hungry. Never met a clock that was a gauge for my blood sugar.

But my dad, who spent some of his childhood on farms, once told me something about his father. Neither of them were avid religious types, or into esoterica, or astrology... etc. They were trying to have prosperous harvests so they would have money so they could eat and pay bills. So what my dad told me one time, when the topic of astrology came up, was that his down-to-earth, feet-on-the-ground, no-nonsense father "paid attention to the phases of the moon for planting." I think he actually said, after we admitted to each other that we didn't see how astrology could possibly predict anything accurately, was "neither did my dad, but you better believe he paid attention to the phases of the moon and the like for planting..."

So I do understand how the tradition of celebrating the "return" of the sun on the third day of the winter solstice started. And I think social rituals are actually really important.

But where I live and interact, most people don't farm anymore. And the joys of the ritual don't seem to be surviving very well.

So it's nice to get your message today, Derek, pointing out that joy can happen anywhere, anytime. And reminding me that I can cause it.

I love this article because I'm a huge believer in personal markers and not the arbitrary ones set by society.

As much as societal markers help bring people together, they aren't a one size fit all for every human being on the planet.

Additionally, I believe that it is very healthy, emotionally, mentally & spiritually, to identify one's own markers and how it impacts one's life versus letting the masses dictate it.

I think it is always best to go through a daily thanks and appreciation, but it is hard to remember to show those thanks in a meaningful way daily.

My wife and kids all say - ok love you. When we leave the house or hang up on the phone. Some may think it cheapens it, but we know life is unpredictable and we don’t want the most important questions left undone.

Hi Derek,

Been awhile since I’ve commented but I agree 100%. I don’t believe in New Years resolutions, people go back to their usual habits not too long after anyway.

Your message hit home cause my life really changed this past November 22, I got fired from my job. I’ve been doing photography on the side for awhile now so instead of looking for a new bartending job I decided to go all in on my passion and side business making it full time now. Pretty scary but exciting at the same time.

Thank you for the email,

-David Martin Jr

I couldn’t agree more!! I think this is becoming a regular response!
When did the year begin for me??? I try to make each day special and shed clutter and spread peace love and joy

Agree. Australian Aborigines celebrate breakthroughs...no birthdays or arbitrary holidays. I'm with them:)

For Jim at #12 who begins with, "Are you saying that we should have no common dates..." No Jim, Derek is not saying that. But you might be saying so. Derek peppers his piece with the word "I." Not the word "you."

For you to say something, Jim, would require not a "question mark" but a sentence ending in the fearful responsibility of a "full stop." (also called a period)

Go ahead and speak up. Face the fear.

If you feel foolish about not knowing anthropology or social studies, then you could always do like Benjamin Franklin, U.S. revolutionary hero, who would begin a sentence with "maybe," or "it seems to me," or "I was thinking it is possible that..." By doing so, no one would think Ben was being arrogant or telling others what to believe. Even though he was as smart as Thomas Jefferson. Rather, Ben would democratically invite everyone to think about what to believe.

We should all think and speak about "life, the universe and everything," and dates too, and I don't feel arrogant for saying so, not at all. (Of course I don't say that absolutely: Only a Sith believes in absolutes—Star Wars)

I can't resist ending with a slogan, since I was around during the U.S. humiliating defeat at the invasion of the Bay of Pigs, a failure later taught in management classes as a warning against "group think": If everyone is thinking alike, then no one is thinking."

When it comes to the Gregorian calendar I couldn't agree more, and it's been many years since I've given thought to these dates. But I find enormous meaning, depth and truth in the Jewish calendar and its cycles, and it informs my life in huge ways, especially when I allow it to. So with that said - "especially when I allow it to- as for the Gregorian calendar, I don't personally find a universal truth to it, but I think whenever we grant meaning to something (such as a new year), and we give that meaning our energy and our mindfulness, then I do beleive that creates meaning and truth in our lives.

December 12th. I worked as a corporate trainer and executive coach in addition to managing 8 trainers. I like my job but it is too intense. Every year on or about the 12th of December I get a month off as no corporations do training from mid December til mid January. This is when my year begins every year -- I have time and energy to read, see friends, cook, write and do other things I enjoy.

By the way, on another topic -- I really enjoy getting your emails and reading your articles. Will listen to your podcast soon.
Thanks,
Frank O

Close enough! :)

My New Year begab on May 20th with our nee practice rooms.we hat a lot of difficulties with the Health authorisierts which did not want to allow the opening but after a lot of dicussions they gave in 😊

I just wrote a similar message recently to my best friend. I think the more "present" we become - more aware - we notice the shallowness in the culturally developed and defined holidays on our calendars. This year I almost couldn't enjoy watching my daughter open her gifts - because it all just felt contrived. So bravo for sharing your message. I appreciate folks that call bullshit when it helps to tune people into reality.

Easy one for me. Leaving Switzerland this summer with my family after 8 great years there to move to Germany. New country, new job, new school, new friends.... pretty much everything. It is the 5th country outside of Canada we've lived in, so transitions are not new, but always a challenge, particularly as the kids get older.

This is so true. I’ve always disliked the idea of Hallmark Holidays as a way to celebrate something superficial. But why did you ask “When did this year really begin for you?” Doesn’t that presuppose that things have a time constraint of a year? I try to look at the highlights of my life as stages I’ve gone through. Some stages are three to four years long. Others are 15 to 20 years long. The last turning point stage in my life was opening a wine bar with my wife 18 months ago. We don’t celebrate the opening day. We celebrate every day we continue to learn more about the stage we are in. I’m 60 years old iif I’m thinking in years. I’m about 9 stages in to the life I’m living. I welcome the next stage when it starts and try not to think about celebrating the yearly milestones. Some stages overlap and that’s okay too. For instance, the married stage of my life ( to one woman) has lasted 36 years. That’s one stage that continues. Within that stage I’ve had many other stages. We go out on the day we were married, but not celebrate that day. We celebrate the continuation of that stage in our lives.

Agreed. Usually my year starts with my birthday (coincidentally at the start of January), but it feels like my 2019 really started at the end of November, when my writing came back. Fingers crossed that it lasts through 2020.

This one resonated with me. Couldn't really articulate it before, the "disconnect" that is. The holiday/calendar engineering we've all become accustomed to and why it feels like I’m on the outside looking in.

my new year starts on my birthday. It is the day that MY new year, my next trip around the sun, begins.

Hey Derek, thank you for this piece and the many other creations that have had an impact on me (too many to count). You have changed my life in a hugely positive way and I wish you and your family all the best!

Great post Derek

I didn't get my mother a Christmas gift this year. =O. Or anyone really. We faded away from 'doing presents'. It's easier for me now b/c all gifts go to my son.

I will end up sending her a photo book of my son soon, which she'll love. Soon. When? Soon.

I no longer 'force' gifts based on dates.

I got her a gift went I stumbled up the right gift near a time she was having surgery. It was not forced. It just seemed right.

I think she appreciated the random gift more. I am not against Xmas gifts. Maybe we'll do them next year. Maybe not. I just am no longer willing to be coerced. I intend to move based on inspiration...

Thank you. I agree. Big events: The day I lost over $1,000,000; The day I found out I had Cancer; The days my children were born; The Day my mother died. All mark big days and big changes. Normal holidays just roll over.

I fundamentally changed my life for the better and cancer was the catalyst. Got a dog, say no to work that doesn’t look like fun, bought a property in france, and took 3 months off this year. It’s a cliche but I’m grateful for all it bought me and in particular how to make different choices. Thanks for reminding me!

I've found that change happens when change happens somewhere else. But discovering that fact gave me hope that it might be possible to make a change that didn't rely on some external circumstance.

So it was on my birthday in 2017 that my last New Year began and the Science of Copywriting FB group was born. I haven't looked back since.

I've written 969 articles in that group so far, one a day without missing a single day. So yes Derek Sivers, my last New Year happened on 8th May 2017 - the start of my best new year ever :)

Thanks Derek. I love the new "2 minute" format with audio. Definitely makes a connection and cuts through the daily deluge of disinformation.
Happy December 30th.
:)

Celebrating a personal victory is better than a designated civil or religious event on rhe calendar. It could be as simple as being courteous to some a-- hole driver.

“Nothing changes on New Year’s Day....” - U2

Wholeheartedly agree. I was in the event business and I'm now launching a product.

In the event business, Oct 29 was the date of our event. All activity from the previous 12 months centered around this date. Oct 30 was the first day of the year for me.

With the product I'm launching, we're currently planning on doing that May 15ish. That will be the end of "this year" and the beginning of a new one.

In the meantime, I'll take people's free booze and good company to celebrate the new year ☺

I love these super intentional thoughts! It made me think about how I can be reactive instead of proactive in doing what I truly want, what I'm saying yes or no to in life, and where I'm spending my time and energy. And then it's easy to use these cultural markers like New Year's Day or a birthday as a "I wish I would have..." type of regretful approach to change.

My year really began as I found clarity and confidence saying no to things that aren't a "hell yeah!" over the summer.

Grateful for all the meaningful and powerful ideas you share, Derek!

Totally agree with this post! I feel the same way about it.

This year did start for me on Jan 1st, as I've emptied my Jar of Awesome and started reading my notes on things I was grateful for in the previous year.

For Sean at #55 : I put the question mark because it was a question as I thought that his text could be interpreted so - thanks for clarifying that he didn’t mean that.

I dunno. even though a day is an objective thing you can still wakeup in the middle of the night and it's subjectively "early morning" or sleep in and it's "breakfast" at lunch. That's how I would think about years -2019 took me a while to warm up to, maybe February/March feels like the start because I didn't know what to do before that, but 2020 I'm already there ahead of time. There is a temptation to fall into numerology. I feel the same way about the count down as I do driving under an e-tag scanner... maybe your wish is gonna come true as you drive under it just because there's this anticipated marker lol y'know like a magical gate. It's fun to believe in, but doesn't help to think "I'm gonna work out in 2020 due to NYE magic" vs "I'd like to be working out a lot soon, so I have to ease into it now late 2019"

Couldn't agree more.This year began for me when I gave birth to my daughter :)

Hey Derek - I have fought the good fight on this issue for many years. Most American holidays are arbitrarily set up strictly for sales purposes and to alleviate the boredom of the masses. I was in hospitality for years and we ran out entire business on the calendar because the population structures their lives around holidays. Mostly I think because its their only useful time (i.e. not working at their jobs) and they plan accordingly. The only issue is bucking this frame set is difficlut because it is so ingrained in society. Think of Valentine's Day. If you are a hetero man in the US, this day is all about defending the downside as opposed to the theortical upside. Which proves your point.

Despite of the medium or interface, I feel so pleased to have a person like you connected to my life!

It's incredible how I have been saying to all my friends, that my year started a long time ago, told them to take action at that moment, if you want something take action!

Personal facts here: Lost 20 kg since June 2019 and have been organizing work stuff and also my home since 1 month ago as a prep for 1 January.

Yes, yes what you say ecoes really good over here.

Take care have a great life!

My year started on the 3rd of November when I found out that I have NO cancer.

Doctors were worried, and I was too, because of some symptoms I had, plus both my parents died of cancer, and my older brother had colon cancer.
The days waiting for the colonoscopy and endoscopy were extremely hard. You know... imagaing how my whole life will change if it were cancer, and how stupid and small everything else I ever worried about in life.

While I was under sedation during the colonscopy, I was more awake at the end, but still not fully awake, I asked the doctor if he found anything bad. He said: I found nothing, all is good. This is when my year started.

I am very thankful for every healthy day of my life. and I wish you Derek the best of health, always.

My year started the day my relationship with my wife got much better.

BTY, ancient Jewish scholars, known as the Kabbalists, would start their day at midnight..

Midnight is the point where the sun stops moving away from us, and starts getting closer.

They were really sensitive, these Kabbalists

I too am increasingly indifferent to arbitrary holidays and time markers, and have my own private or closely-shared dates of remembrance. I don't know that any of them are particularly interesting to anyone else.

I was intrigued, however, by the Roman concept of the Saeculum, referenced by another poster: an era that begins with a particular event and ends with the death of the last person who participated in it.

We are all living in the Saeculum that began on July 16, 1945. That was the date when humans harnessed the power to destroy themselves. The date of the first atomic bomb blast. The beginning of the era in which we all shared the knowledge that everything we treasure and love could be taken away in an instant.

Those of us who grew up in the 1950s and 1960s were bombarded by reminders of that reality, but these days that knowledge has receded into a background murmur.

This seems odd, given that a childish, impulsive fool has his finger on the trigger of the world's largest arsenal of destruction -- and the others who share that power are not much better. The religious fanatics who rule India and Pakistan, the paranoid narcissist in Pyongyang, the steely-eyed authoritarian in Russia, the would-be world overlords of Beijing. Any of them could, at any moment, decide to irrevocably change -- or end -- the lives of every human on the planet.

It would be pretty fabulous if by the end of this particular Saeculum, by the time the last human alive on July 16, 1945 has died, for this insane reality to be nothing but a story written in the pages of history books. Something for future generations to shake their heads at, amazed that their ancestors ever accepted such a thing as normal.

Never really thought of it like that but very true. Great perspective Derek.
Thanks.

It began when I put my health and well being before all other matters.

The current year began August 15th when I resigned as trustee of my father’s trust after 15 months of difficult times dealing with his death and estate as executor and trustee. That’s the day I started digging myself out of the hole and getting my life back after having had it consumed by this monumental array of tasks and emotional challenges.

My year was lost to me since my daughter committed suicide. I can´t think I will ever recover in any way.
I don´t want a September in my life.

I never expected to live this long, honestly. I was so flagrantly and idiotically self-destructive as a teenager and into my early twenties, I didn't expect to see thirty. Now I celebrate everything. Mornings, because I woke up alive, still inhabiting my body. I start every day with "Thank You" to everything and anyone that has helped to make that possible. Mondays, because I love my work... so much that it doesn't even feel like work anymore. I celebrate days like Thanksgiving because they're now spent only with fam and friends I enjoy, and Valentine's Day because I send out three cards each year to people I love who don't have a partner (and wish they did). I co-opt holidays to suit me; Hallmark's got nothin' on me;) And, there are the days like July 5th, when I met the woman who is now my wife, and years later, July 5th again, when we'd finally got the right to marry in this country and did; and September 13th, when I finally kicked tobacco (which was harder than all of the other crap I was ingesting, in part because those came first) and December of 1986, when I finished graduate school, against ALL odds... sooo many beautiful dates. And, hey, if I'd been paying closer attention, I'd recall the date I first heard of this dude by the name of Derek Sivers, and watched that brief, sweet TED video about how to start a movement, and then read the little book about entrepreneuring and life in general, Anything You Want, that's still influencing the way I do my beloved work. So many beautiful dates. I love them all. And you;)

Happy New Year, whenever you start it.

2020 started last night. A breakup of epic proportions and I'm excited for what this new focus will bring

I grew up on the west coast of Canada and our seasons here are quite distinct. I personally feel a fresh new year is upon me with the change from summer to fall. Likely because that cold change in the air and fresh air smell that comes with falling leaves and rain coincided for so many years with a new school year. While I haven’t started a new school year in over a decade, the month of September still feels like a fresh start and a time to plan for the future and reflect on the past year. That’s my true new year.
Yeah! I still feel the same way. — Derek

This is right on! The new year started for me about a month ago when I had achieved my business goal for the year AND was selected for a project that will force me to level up in the upcoming 6 months.

My year began 12/11/19 when I closed my side-gig clinic. Sad? Yes. But the instant stress relief I felt was enormous and allowed me to look back and see what I'd been doing to myself the last 4 years. I am looking forward to more free time, taking care of myself more, getting my health back....and lots of other things. It scares to me to think of what my life/health could look like in the next year or two if I didn't slow down!

The word that lept out at me was THOUGHTLESS. This word defines a lot of what is wrong in the world today. Not that I am focusing on negatives...there is a lot more that is awesome in the world today too (in fact, most things are pretty awesome). Still, everyone could benefit from a little more thought vs emotionally driven impulsivity. The emotional brain is very powerful and easily hijacked by external messaging (aka, tribalism). Advertisers and politicians exploit this human trait and know it all too well. That's why one of my resolutions is the fast from mainstream media. January 1st is arbitrary (I've already started on this change). However, the time of year gets be thinking critically about how well did I pursue goals last year and how can I improve going forward? So it's more of a span of time that usually precedes Jan 1 and more often than not continues through my birthday, on January 9th. Other resolutions include studying for a national licensing exam I have to take (more of a process goal to accomplish a little bit on this every day), and getting my instrumental surf rock band concept, BANANA HAMMOCK, off the ground. Thanks for the great post Derek.

Joe

My wife and I always keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge so we can celebrate spontaneously. We never celebrate commercialized holidays or annual life events. It's different for our kids though, to them a birthday is still very important (even a half birthday for our youngest) and Halloween means friends and candies. So there must be a journey to get to where you are... it's not necessarily for everyone... but I'll drink to that!

December 25th I stopped vaping and got off nicotine. So that is my new year day :)

thanks for sharing all that you do

I fully agree with your stance on this Derek (not surprisingly; I agree with most of what you express & share). I'm publicly declaring my commitment to get my body back in optimal shape/weight and my finances restored to the robust status they should be in my mind at this stage of my life & work. Those are the two commitments that matter the most to me -- and that I'm dedicating my habits/practices towards from today forward. Wishing you a year of new beginnings and celebrating milestones not only as the calendar shifts into 2020 but as they happen throughout the year. Best to you my friend today and always! Be well, Kelli

derek

my new year typically does begin with the traditional NYD.

however, my significant markers are 01/01/YYYY and my birthday 03/DD/YYYY

then too, wife and kids birthdays, which we still celebrate with fanfare.

then each day that I awake without a "white chaulk outline" around my body! {grin}

-ski

life: #getRdone

Thanks for reminding me life is supposed to be formulated according to one's own standards.
*Recalibrating*

Hi ya!
Love your blogs, so much food for thought, always!
I think it is important to use ”generic” hollidays to take a moment and reflect on whatever that holliday focuses on. That can make us part of another bigger society.
But then we all have our personal and our private calendar.
In my personal ”calendar” I keep track of my own progress and ”sacred” days, in my personal ”calendar” I keep track of changes that involve change together with others: when we met, when we did something that brought us closer together. The whole chabang is ”maintained” by the simple reminder given in the common life: new years for example. The common day gives me the opportunity to communicate my personal and private Calendar to others....and they usually respond well😎

Things like calendars are useful for coordinating things, but that's about it. Time passes whether we choose to acknowledge the fact or not.

Personally, I ignore it as much as I can. Among the Inuit a question about how old someone is would be met with "Quite of an age." That's me! I find no particular merit in having neglected to die yet again.

There are, of course, markers that society and/or people we care about find important. My wife might be annoyed if I neglected to acknowledge our anniversary. Ht grandkids would be disappointed if their b'days got overlooked. Those commemorations are more important for the WHO than the WHEN. As I said earlier, the calendar is useful for coordinating.

I don't believe this is an either/or situation, Derek. I love acknowledging and celebrating the personal. But I also find the idea that thousands, millions of people gather together for cultural holidays...the term, or course, deriving from "holy days"--is, at its best, a very moving, powerful, and positive experience.

It can’t be January 1 because starting with a hangover has to be an ominous way to kick off a year, right?

Thanks Derek! Your posts always see so timely, it’s like you read my mind!!! I enjoy listening and reading along. The words sink so much more into the brain and that is good!

Rock on!

My year began when my wife and I took our pregnancy test after lengthy IVF. The test was positive and the date is now a special one x

My life started again 2019 July after attending a vipassana meditation retire. This was the hell of a year!

Interesting thoughts- I’m strangely more inclined toward building periodic rhythms into life. I.e. these are the things I do before each workday, these are things I do weekly (sleep in Saturday, worshiySunday, etc), there are some things I try to do annually, like reevaluating my habits and setting some goals for the year (like at the turn of the year.) for that time, I like the new year as a time to reflect

Derek

Hi, Derek -

I greatly appreciate your pieces, which are ever-thoughtful. I agree with nearly all, and where I don’t, they give me a nudge to re-think my positions. The current essay is one example of the latter: while the general sentiment - to consider marking time around the significant moments in my life, rather than externally and arbitrarily imposed timelines - is well-taken, I can’t help but resist the recommendation. What I’ll call “standard markers” are there not only to help individuals and groups more easily coordinate and collaborate, but also standardizes the passage of time. That has its pitfalls - some of which you noted, but it’s also not without its individually relevant benefits. For one, standardization helps me frame some of the questions I can ask myself as I begin my process of introspection. Examples include: A year has gone by since my last birthday (How have I grown? How has my life changed in that year? What are the patterns behind my biggest successes? Failures? How fully did I embody my values in the last 12mo?); a year has passed since the death of my father (How has my family impacted? How has my grieving changed, if at all? How can I honor his memory?); It’s the end of the week (What have I learned in the last week? What brought me joy? What didn’t? Who were the five people/books/ideas/thoughts that I spent the most time with in the last 7 days? Where did I waste my time this week? How can I better allocate my time next week?) — and so on. The standard markers allow me to ask the same questions at the same pre-defined intervals and thus better allow me to track/measure, query, and analyze the outputs. Ultimately, it comes down to whether or not I’m growing. Judging that growth against some fixed marker helps me judge the direction of the progress. The standard markers help define the baseline.

Thank you, as always for your generosity. I don’t expect it, but if you have the time to reply, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

With great appreciation,
Dalmar

PS - This year had many beginnings, starting in February, when my mother was diagnosed with stage IV ovarian cancer; again in June, when my youngest sister was diagnosed with schizophrenia; in July, when an epiphany about how I was spending my time led me to quit my job; in August, when my mom went into remission; in December, when I accepted a new role that better fit my values. It will begin again in a week, when I’ll start that in that new role :)

There are 2 sides to the story. Personally I would not wait for any particular date to do my personal things. If I want to gift someone I just do immediately. However, for specific dates that are designed for congregational nature like Eid or Hajj, would be fool if I was to do them on my own dates. The secret here is in differentiating in my own actions what is personal and what is congregational events while keeping my freedom, independence and learning.

Lovely stuff to help keep us mindful on all those changes and relationships worth celebrating -
I suppose if the official dates do serve a purpose, it is that they are a reminder lest we forget the perennial significance of those things celebrated,
Cheers me friend, always a joy to catch yer thoughtful insights and reflections :)

I've always thought New Year's Resolutions were fueled by a desire to return to 'normalcy' after the chaos of the holidays. Maybe that's why keeping them is so hard. They are short term ideals, rather than long term 'measure and adjust' goals.

Aha! I told my girlfriend the same thing. She disagrees with both of us.

"It's easy to say that you want to celebrate these things on your own terms, but the fact is that most people need reminders. I bet 'I'll celebrate when I want to and/or when it feels meaningful' would turn into not celebrating at all for you and most other people."

To which I responded,

"Well I'd rather it be spontaneous with a chance of not existing at all, instead of guaranteed but also forced."

And then that turned into a discussion about how we have different love languages (I'm quality time, she's gifts)... so it ended up in a standstill. :)

I agree. But here is a counter point.

New Year is about sharing a common experience. It is not something rational. It is a tradition, now very much based on emotion. New Year happens to all the people at the same time. And it is always exciting and meaningful for people to come together and share something they all have in common. Even if it is just a change in the date.

I really love the idea of personal markers. I of course recognize the convenience of collective turning points in the culture, but that is very different from having someone else 'dictate' (yes, strong need for autonomy) when I tune into and celebrate romantic love, my mother, or my sense of gratitude.
I haven't used the term "year" for myself, though. Some life changing events seem bigger than just a new 'year' for private me. Maybe I cling to the 365 day idea of the year. Need to do some more thinking on that.
But I guess my year began when I started studying integrated psychotherapy.

I love this idea! Also, what a great self-reflection question. I'll be holding on to that one and maybe trace back my life of when a new year started and ended for introspection.

My year began when the company I work for changed owners to private equity. I also think about the new year of when I took a 2 week vacation to go to Vietnam and Japan with 18 friends for a close friends bachelor and bacherlotte party. Lastly, when my new director joined who has been absolutely fantastic in supporting me and getting my best self out of me.

Derek….Thanks for another thought-provoking article.

In this case, I both agree and disagree with your premise. I absolutely agree that those who use special days like New Years, birthdays, etal., almost by rote, to enact their love and affection towards others in their life robs them of their meaning. But I also believe that for some people [and I’ll not hazard a guess as to what proportion of the population…probably very low] have taken some of these occasions to act [or think] in a way that has had a profound effect on their lives.

Probably one of these life changing moments are devoid of other previous circumstances or events that contributed to the profound changes but the special day, such as New Year’s Day can be the marker thrown down for acting on the resolve that was building over time. Like the disinterested student seemingly on a path towards an unproductive or even destructive life who one day responds to a prompt by a caring adult that beforehand had sounded to him/her as so much incomprehensible prattle from Charlie Brown’s teacher. Then one day, something clicks, like a switch, and the formerly passive student has found a purpose, and a motivation to go towards that goal.

In answer to your question, “When did this year really begin for [me]?” my response would be, “April 15th, 2013.” That was the day I was able to identify the “Higher Power” that would guide me in my recovery from sexual addiction. That moment changed everything for me. Profoundly.

I'm so glad you put this to pen/mic.
I've always felt that Thanksgiving, Xmas, etc had no meaning to me and all these folks around me give it EXTRA meaning.
I spend Xmas alone this year in Athens Greece. I'm still there and just ignore all those holiday dates. My family knows this about me and doesn't bother to include me in family events.
My life is better for living like this.....ignoring the imposed holidays. I especially reject the religious ones, since those particularly grate on me.
Thanks for saying all that.
I always enjoy your thoughts.

I suspect many of the calendar markers are more about selling holiday-appropriate greeting cards and other such commercial enterprises than actual celebrations... although the origins of most of the major holidays were pagan.

The past couple of years, October has been the month when my year took meaning. I've always preferred autumn as my fav season. Adding the joy of a new relationship which began in an October... engagement the next October... and wedding in October... seems like a better time to celebrate rather than an arbitrary holiday mid-winter, surrounded by drunken strangers, countdown and all that jazz...

Thank you Derek! I am grateful for this post.

I’ve had good and bad events this past year where my life changed momentarily on the outside. Then I reread Seneca while traveling on a train from Napoli to Florence. Life changes completely when your perspective changes. And that is always in your control.

“Therefore, my dear Lucilius, begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life. He who has thus prepared himself, he whose daily life has been a rounded whole, is easy in his mind; but those who live for hope alone find that the immediate future always slips from their grasp and that greed steals along in its place, and the fear of death, a curse which lays a curse upon everything else.“ Letter 101

Arbitrary dates have a momentary impact. Deliberate thinking has a lasting impact. Looking forward to your new book Derek! :)

hi Derek real interesting message on that sound file im always busy with music i am an advanced musician with sound production movie scoring songwriting live performance lead guitar and i mean lead guitar multi instruments i call it >>>>> Hot Guitars to Symphonics big sounding soundtracks mixed with hot lead guitar works for scoring video and Film many styles toured with jimi hendrix Monklees, my band the Sundowners backed up many hit acts and opened for them as well also in TV ad movies the music bizz is a hard nut to crack but i have been doing it all my life im real good at it too no Gorganzola cheese here !! ha! remember the sax solo in Rosie and the originals Angel Baby ? yikes !! yikes i always remember that as the worst sax solo in history ! but it was a good song and a big hiy back then when i was a kid just for laughs anyway love your CD baby im gonna do something new in music coming up again Happy New Year Dominick p Demieri

As is often the case, we're on the same page here Derek.
My take was on resolutions though.
twitter.com/PaulClaireaux/status/1211243342190858241?s=19

I'm not a fan of all these silly markers of time, either.
For instance, I'm usually by myself on Valentine's Day, and if I'm lucky enough to be with someone, there is undue weird pressure about that date. No matter what, I hate it. Just like a lot of Holidays. Pressure, obligation, family insanity, etc.
I prefer to give when I want to and to be grateful, thankful and happy every day, if possible. Thank you for your blog. LD

My year started sometime in November when I realized that after several years post divorce, I am through the grief stage.

Derek,

Thnk you for posting this food for thought. I tend to agree.
Tim

Awesome!

My year began for me when I got surgery to fix GERD in November. I can breathe again. I can't express how great it feels to be able to breath effortlessly after not being able to do so for 8 years.

I've never really been a fan of new years resolutions, especially for things like losing weight. If you wanna lose weight, start now! And it has to be a permanent lifestyle change, not just a temporary diet.

Thanks Derek,

Luke

Love this post!!! So timely!!! Thanks Derek!!! My year started when I finally took the leap to quit my old job and reconsidered options that I hadn't thought possible before. When I reframed my perspective, new opportunities came bubbling up! New relationships started forming too and I'm really happy now. Looking forward to 2020 and all the milestone markers it will represent for all of us. happy new year to you and yours, Derek!

When I woke up from the anesthesia to discover the tumor was cancerous...that is both when my sabbatical and my year started...fueling the project to help the children with congenital Zika syndrome with even more fervor...

I turn 81 on January 9th. This has helped me deal with it. Blessings on you this new year even if it's not till June 1st.

Good one, Derek! I agree about holidaze being arbitrary. I do enjoy celebrating my birthday and appreciate it when others remember.
I'm happy to say that 2020 has already begun.

Thanks for writing, Derek. Two quick things...
"A new day begins when I wake up, not at midnight."
Since the time change this fall, the first thing I do everyday is head outside for a walk. I time it so I'm out when the sun is rising, even if it's not visible, and go no matter the weather. Being out for the sunrise is my way to embrace the day (and winter season). I've had various early morning rituals and this is the BEST! My day begins when i step outside.

Another beginning, this fall, was Thursday, Sept. 24th. I started the Master Gardener program in our County. I've wanted to do this for ages and this was/is the year. We're only 3 months in and I'm SO happy to be a part of it.

The change, for me, happened speeding up over the past 3 or so weeks, but the final course was set today. Segovia, Richards, Perlman, Tom Verlaine, and J Hendrix, among many others, played a “time-delayed” role. Off to the new Year!

Holidays are reminders. They may give us hope, or make us smile, or suggest that we do something nice for others, or make sure we don't forget a sad event. Nothing wrong with that. Participate or don't, your choice.

Well we all know that, during any moment of REVELATION, we don't suddenly snap to and say 'WOW! My New Year has just begun!" But......looking back over the past several months, I CAN say that the day I realized that one of my songs was powerful enough to get 1,000 views in 1 day, I had 'crossed over.' The song? 'Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor.' The reason it got so many views?? You can probably figure that one out yourselves (esp. if you live in the USA). Happy New Year (whenever and wherever that hits), Derek, and fellow followers. www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsRemx7ANg4
Barbara S.

I 100% agree with you. These arbitrry dates that are mostley geared to get you to part with your money drive me crazy!!!!

This year for me really began Monday, December 9th, because it was the day i officially transitioned from doing Crossfit for 8 years at a Crossfit gym, to doing workouts at home with my 10 year old son. I had had it in mind that I needed to get him regular physical activity soon as we homeschool and he’s getting older, and I finally was mentally and emotionally ready to figure out the solution and quit something that I had personally loved and benefited from myself for many years. It’s been over 3 weeks and we’ve stuck to our schedule and we both love what we are doing and I feel so good about doing what I know is right and what is best for our son.
:)

I agree! Everyday is a fresh day of writing paper to change your life, right? But what's interesting in these times of year is so many people all focusing on the same thing. When done in the right spirit it brings the world together. Especially during Christmas, there's a high spiritual vibration in the air and when you tune in, it can really lift you up! I meditate everyday, twice a day, and everyday is a Spiritual one! But during this season I notice a deeper peace! For me, the key is. live everyday as if it was your last, appreciating everything and everyone that comes your way. The Universe is sending us lessons that are just for us. This earth is a school, it's how we live our life that counts. That is what you take with you! Inspiration and Joy to everyone!!!!!! I'm so grateful for all the intense lessons that have come my way, it's given me the courage to live as an artist and follow my heart every step of the way! Hope you all are uplifted by our music and movies : ) www.brightbluegorilla.com

Yes I agree Derek. It beckons me to broach the issue of the purpose for change. The best purpose for my changing is to continually become a better version of me. Therefore change must be the device of serving others; of serving something other than myself. Like the caterpillar becoming the butterfly, meaningful change is the evolvement of ones spirit to the beauty which it was placed here to be. So when my time here is over hopefully I left a little heaven behind me for others to share for their process of becoming.

I agree with you. Although I like to have special days to celebrate with others. I understand what ur saying.. my year started on Christmas eve and here is why.. I just recently moved and it was such a mess.. moved into a home that we were remodeling and had all kinds of extra boxes which were boxed up to remodel the home. With ladders and saws all over the place it was time to move in.. the house was close enough to being remodeled but not completely done but renting another place was getting more expensive by the day. So we just moved in on top of a mess.. well my new year started on Christmas eve when we got the Christmas tree finally up and the house was much better then it had been in a long time. We had family over and really enjoyed the time together..

The year begins on my birthday, which is January 5th.

Couldn't agree more! I rather celebrate a milestone over a calendar day, it has more meaning. Hoping my app passes certification - if so i'll be celebrating that this January!

My current “year” began when suspicions were confirmed by official autism diagnosis. Year before that started with Mom’s stroke. Year before that started with divorce from a dangerous sociopath. These events are so much more meaningful to me and my tribe than designated holidays, birthdays, etc. I feel angrily resistant to those arbitrary days of “celebration”. The calendar can f**k off.
☺ Best closing quote. — Derek

Mostly feel the same way. Am always reflective at yearend. 2019 started for me on Jan. 6. The day I drank a whole bottle of wine nursing a resentment. I decided the next day to face that resentment and reacted differently. I needed to remove the alcohol to stay on track with that rather than slip back. Still alcohol free. Taking it one day at a time, and have had many positive changes, including resolution and dismissal of that particular resentment. The person I resented was also fired. I am not happy for his misfortune. I have never been a vengeful person. I learned the value of not letting resentment eat you up. Our time here is short and precious, and I do not want to spend it poisoning myself.

As I see it, we can enjoy both situations. Despite the commercial side of formal celebration dates as markers, we can choose the good sides of these situations, perhaps as opportunities to stop, to focus, to reflect about moments, experiences and special people around you. On the other hand, personal markers can be still more interesting dates, offering very special moments.

Awesome thoughts as always.
I wish I could say my year began every day, as time is so precious we should be making the most of it. But the reality is the daily grind takes control and we forget to we are in charge of our own destiny.
Saying that I starting working on something exciting around June and that is nearly complete, so a new year started then, and another in a few weeks when it’s complete.

Wow, perfect and absolutely timely as the bottle neck of intensity around the measurement of time intensifies, and the hope (the only one that hasn’t escaped the Pandora’s box) creates a big expectations and fake determination lists.

I never measured time normally, I still get miss understandings with “adults” when I say last year referring to the school years (even though I am disconnected from uni for more than a decade) somehow for me anything before September is last year still. It is a great point I should think about and reflect, did I attach to the school/uni years too strongly or I just breath with the seasons in such a way that falling of leaves represents a new beginning. Thanks for this :)

Sure I agree...yet sometimes is fun to celbrate all together ...depends how you look at things.

“Memorable turning points “ , that is the question!!!!Happy new year and turning points dear Derek.
With love Anaya

January 1st is only important to me because it marks the end of a week or two of finding it very difficult to get things done: is it the return to the sanity of controlling my own schedule and environment again.

We always celebrate my bd for the whole month of February--which seems right to me--lots of gifts, flowers, chocolate cake & fun--we never focus on exact age--just it needs more celebration than just one day :)

Happy New Year, Derek! Always good to read something new from you. My year began in October when I shot my first freelance video content after a 4 years of editing the content of other filmamakers. I'll continue with a combo of both to see where I can take it. Turn up the James Brown! John

When you put it this way, 2018 never really happened for me! 2017 (a very important year for a few things you mentioned in the post) continues to roll on. I'll let you know when my next year actually begins ;)

Generally board with this view My year started a few months ago when my company restructured =I lost my job. The time and mental space has allowed me to reflect, test and develop better routines and habits. More critically,.I have spent the most quality time with my wife and sons for the first time in over 10 years. Still, I use the dates (eg New Years) to reconnect with friends and family globally. Expectations aside, these tend to be times when most people I know have time to connect. So I guess my view is a bit more nuanced...

Very interesting article (and so true).
My new year started May 26th but it’s almost over....(because a year doesn’t have to be an actual year) and it’s time for a change.
All my best to you and yours! m

Wow. The perfect piece at the perfect time :) I agree with your thoughts. My new year began roughly 50 days back when I started 100DaysOfDoodles challenge. I have drawn 43 doodles since then. While I am halfway through my personal project, I have learnt a lot, expressed a lot and connected with quite a few old friends during this journey.

A very good and important read ,You`ve Hit it Bang on , I will take this advise and use what I`ve read as I Move forward with a New outlook.

I feel the same about that! You are good at expressing my feelings :)...I dont celebrate birthdays but I do pamper myself, not to celebrate but to avoid feeling sad for being one year older. I start new adventures, not new years. This year started two years ago, when I moved to Berlin. Since then I've been in the same city with the same partner, doing mostly the same things. It's been good and mostly very comfortable but I feelnot more than one year has passed. The time/life is just flying too fast this way. It is time for a change, before I lose courage for new beginnings (which is the only sign of aging I think). The next year will probably start in spring with a new adventure.

Hi Derek, Thanks for your always thought provoking thoughts. I have a mantra, "time and money are of no consequence." As in, I always have enough of both, thus no need to concern myself with a perceived lack of either. My year starts now. Peace to you! ~April

Derek--Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you. This is an important topic to me. Yes--I think all personal touchstones should be celebrated & every holiday you can get your hands on too. Most cultural holidays involve family & friends & traditions that are warm and comforting for many & I have found that when one person in a family takes a stand against holidays--it tends to cause alienation in many families.
It usually starts with something like "oh Christmas is too commercial__I can't afford a flight home at Christmas because the rates are too high (but not too high to fly somewhere else?) Lets not exchange gifts--just send me money. I'm too busy to come to dinner. Which at first might seem somewhat reasonable until Mom & Dad are left alone at which used to be a family gathering & those holiday gatherings are not replaced with any personal family gatherings--only private celebrations by individuals ???
Yes--celebrate your personal holidays--but I think a lot of families loose out on a lot of intergenerational bonding with feamily & extended family members when the celebrations end. :(

It began September 27th, when I started working with Devin Townsend. It also began in May 1994 when I started drums, in Nov-Dec 2k-2k1 when I spent time in the coma... It began when I moved to Iceland... but it never began on January 1st. Never. Neither on my birthday date. I don’t care about those because I feel nothing at all on those days. And... midnight? Muhahaha! Since I live in Iceland, time doesn’t exist anymore for me. Thanks for bringing that up. I feel less alone in not giving any importance to universal time-bound-BS. And... as you know, I’m not caring about Chronos, but about Kairos.

My year began on the first morning I woke in my first home that is truly mine. Not a home I rent with permission from a big corporation with the stipulation I live by there rules and allow there representatives to enter my living quarters several times of year to check various components of the building. It was the day I left behind the worst year of my life: divorce, depression, the death of my beloved fur child, IBS onset and diagnosis, etc.

That was two months ago that my new life began and I’m dedicated to working myself back to physical and mental wellbeing.

Derek, what you're saying is really how it's supposed to be. I think our modern society has lost track of the reasons for most of the holidays we celebrate, and our 'rituals' have become expensive and stressful redundancies.
Personal milestones are very important and beneficial to us regardless of what day of the year, or how often they occur. At the same time, we should explore the importance of collective and communal milestones for the same benefits that individual milestones and turning points offer. The problem, however, starts when these collective milestones also become economic pillars for commercial exploitation.

I couldn’t agree more. I’ve always resented forced holiday celebrations and these somewhat arbitrary markers of time. I’ve recently had two “New Years”. The first was in August 24, when my wife told me she was having an affair...which triggered us to separate after 18 years together. The second just happened today as I’ve forged a fantastic new partnership at my craft beer bar.

October 1st, when my toddler started daycare full time at a space he can feel at home away from home.

My year began twice this year... in April when I fell in love with a woman for the first time in my 47 years of heterosexual relationships, and 5 months later when my heart was ripped apart by our break up. It was been a monumental year. I have grown so much. And no, it has not been defined by a universal calendar. The heart moves to its own beat. Thank you Derek!

I try to be conscious every day about how fortunate I am. Healthy (touch wood), happy, living in a tolerating country (Canada), have very few needs not met, have lots of music in my life... every day could be a 'new year'.

Birthdays fill my calendar. I love celebrating friends and family how happy I am that they were born and are still here. I met my husband on my birthday and celebrate the anniversary of our meeting rather than my birthday. It is romantic. We also celebrate our wedding anniversary. After 38 years, I love him even more.
I love the Christmas season because people are nicer to each other and the decorations and lights are beautiful. There are parties and this year especially was good because our tribe are all vegetarians or vegans. This made for excellent digestion! No
More feeling bad after thanksgiving and Christmas feasts.
Nothing better than gourmet vegan feasts!
Fresh delicious organic food! I use to loathe holiday get togethers and swear that I would never stuff my body with unsavory sugary poison dead food again.
My husband got on board when he saw the documentary with Arnold Swartznigger about vegetarian strong men. Game Changer.
I had been a vegetarian for 19 years but unhealthy as I ate gobs of sugary deserts, mounds of potatoes with butter loaves of homemade bread, and numerous high tea parties with Harvey’s Bristol Creme.
Valentine’s Day is a reminder to tell my husband how much I love him
For taking me off the streets. Also I remember elementary school where making anonymous cards was fun. We could use more symbols of love like red hearts every day. New Year’s Eve and day meant parties, fancy dress, time square, people kissing all over the world and early morning parade and football games.
Columbus Day? I heard he was not the first guy to discover America.
But any excuse not to have to go to school was fine by me.
Memorial Day, is important to honor those who went and didn’t come home. It should make people revolt and tell our politicians to STOP WAR! Veterans Day brings attention to the ones who made it back and need support mentally and physically! So many have committed suicide and continue to do so. Hug a veteran and if they need help, get them to a Vet center. Vets are still dying from poisonous agent orange and PTSD. Whatever horrors we put Native Americans through, I apologize for my ancestral lineage. HO!
What it means now is gathering with my tribe of friends to do the vegan feast and laugh, tell stories and catch up. My Jewish friends seem to celebrate with their families and the ones close to home do the Friday night dinner. Makes me wish we had that closeness. It is so supportive! Some families seem to be critical and very unsupportive. I hear many tales of family woes during the holidays. Expectations. What say we all love one another and love ourselves and forgive one another and forgive ourselves. 2020! That is how I see the world! I am grateful to the surgeons who restored my eye sight to 20:20 ! Love to all!

Love this! One of my favorite ideas/concepts.

I often say, "Resolutions are mostly a farce when it comes to personal change. Resolve, however, is critical!"

This is a really good thought.
I hate being forced to celebrate a random date that means nothing to me

Never thought of it that way, but you are so right. When a chapter closes, that is the start of a new chapter.

Although some of these dates have simply become a basis for capitalist activity, they still serve a more human purpose. Like any ritual, they afford a change from the usual scenery, a prompt for reflection, and can bring people together, indirectly as well as intentionally.

My year began 1/14/2014 when I reported the first born of my twins as a missing person. After 5 yrs of searching, I solved the mystery. Autumn was killed by her first husband and father of her children. Killed bc he didn't want to pay child support or go to jail bc he was $15,000 behind in payments. From that moment on, I no longer had twins. Autumns identical twin, Starla, would continue to age. Autumn would never see 34 although Starla turned 39 this year. Her daughters would never know their mother didn't abandon them as their father has told them. Half of my famimy refuses to believe she's dead. The former soninlaw has not been charged or arrested mo have his accomplices. The FBI has not pursued the case with gusto. I'll never have another Christmas call, text, or FM from Autumn. My granddaughters have been cut off from my presence in their lives bc, well, their father is a murderer and refuses to allow contact bc he knows...THEY know.

So, every day of every month, of every year changed from that moment in time for me and for all who knew what an amazing beautiful woman my daughter, Autumn, was and is.

Ty for asking.

Gigi Bannister and
Reggie Bannister

It began for me when I let go of a project I'd previously been clinging to, desperately trying to save. As expected, many things opened up for me at this point in time. Another similar life event is looming, and I'm ready. With open arms.

Hey Derek, Totally! I can feel strange, drained, discombobulated, and like an outsider when I just don’t have it in me to get into the spirit of a community ritual date. But I must say, I’m totally psyched about this New Year 2020 and the decade ahead. The numbers roll off the tongue so well, and we’ll all finally feel like we’re living in the same century (no one will be living in 2000 AND 20 in 2020!). No late night party for me though... I’m looking forward to waking up early, healthy, well rested and happy on 1/1/2020 😁

My new year began this past August when my Mom passed away. My Dad died in 2015. I'm an only child so that's it now for my family.
In a sense I'm free because I don't have to worry about anything I do reflecting badly on my parents.
But I miss them. A lot.
This happens to everyone eventually so I need to focus on going forward. It's all you can do.

I agree about the arbitrariness of these dates. However, I believe we can use them as deadlines or opportunities to reevaluate the actions we're taking toward creating the real moments worth remembering.

I also feel years need not be the same length, which I believe aligns with your thoughts here. I've gotten married, moved cities, and changed my name at different points within the past 15 months, signifying multiple years in my life, while some of my other years have lasted for well over 12 months.

All reasonable points, but the reality is the "adopted" dates for many of these events provide for generally accepted "time-out" from the otherwise intrusive world that demands our daily attention.

For most of us we are in little control of our agendas and these "special" days, in addition to the personal events we recognize quietly, offer a structure that is not without value.

after nearly dying 4 times each second is the most important of life..im grateful for each breath!!!

So every second is a special holiday to me!!

Funny each near death experience i have opens my third eye more! I
now feel we never die and are never born but our lives are a continuation..

Before my first near death i could not understand kalil gibrans the prophet..suddendly my mind ooened beyond my understanding an i quit negative habits as again i truly live each second as my last..no holidays needed when we realize EACH SECOND WE ARE ALIVE is "The Holiday"

blink an this incarnation is over ..tomorrows not promised

Hi Derek, I think this year began about 2 months ago (I don't remember the date) when my wife and I sat down and really talked money. We setup a system where we are more in control and surprise we have saved enough to pay for a holiday in March with goals set for overseas in the next 12 months. Schools fees are paid for next year (we operator on calendar school years). Our mortgage is better off and we each have 'splurge' money just for us.
It's such a good feeling...
Cheers and thanks for the insightful posts.

Hi Derek, i agree with your post being from an introvert perspective. But what about group celebrations? Surely set dates make sense if you see it from a group perspective. An extrovert would probably disagree with you.

My hell yeah moment was before 2019 when I made the decision to join a startup company. Life transformed on Jan 28, 2019. Additionally, I'm nurturing my gut more and more since it's my compass on where my life journey go. Cheers bud!

Hi Derek,

I've always tried to start any New Years goals or resolutions before January 1st (mid-late December has been best). I have found that if I wait until January 1st, I get caught in the wave of general resolution failure, where we look to the magical date of January 1st to automatically change our habits and behaviors. When I start before January 1st, I not longer have that crutch to lean on (which is actually a false crutch). I have to systematically and intentionally change my behavior. No false magic, no empty hope...only purposeful action. Happy New Year to you! May 2020 bring you peace, joy, and many magical moments.

You’ve echoed my thoughts! In my understanding “time” is a function of the mind and exists in the mind, as does “space”. Without the mind there is neither. My new year begins every moment and every moment calls for celebration within. Thanks for your thoughts Derek. Have been following you since I first came across you in 2004 when I signed up with cdbaby.

Spot on! Thank you.

My new year always begins sometime in February. It allows me to enjoy the back-to-back festivities of the holidays and take the slower days (and hibernation weather) to contemplate what changes I want to make. It just works for me.

My daughters, who are both artists, have started framing their lives in terms of seasons of a sitcom or soap opera (telenovela to be specific-this concept originated with my Spanish speaking daughter).

This framework has been a remarkably fun way to characterize unpleasant and terrific things and chapters that are notably significant. ("This was a great finale to season 1", "I feel like this is the beginning of season 2", "He is the perfect villain for this season", "This love story picks up in another season", "This is a likable but ancillary character").

Loved this post.

Happy New Season/Episode y'all!

God how I hate Valentines Day. Forced affection is affectation. I knew I was going to spend my life with my wife when I dreamt about us on a beach together. The same feeling pervading my dream carried over to daylight. Who needs the saint day of a crucified/burnt alive Roman to remind us of that?

Thanks for your always inspiring posts, Derek. This year began for me when I received a clean bill of health from my doctor after a cancer scare. As Confucius said. "We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one." I am cyrstal clear that this "second chance" at a quality life was a wakeup call - and I'm making the most of it.

- Sam Horn, author of SOMEDAY is Not a Day in the Week

Love it! Such a great reminder. I’ve found in the last few years Feb 14th a struggle to put all my eggs into one basket for. Amen! My love for my wife isn’t limited to expression on one day of the year. There are plenty of other opportunities to celebrate the beauty and uniqueness of our relationship. Love it Derek. Thanks for the reminder.

In a lot of ways I feel like I’ve been walking in 2020 since October. It’s already been quite an exciting year. More to come! Hallelujah!

My year started Dec 26th 2018 when I moved to a different country with my wife and kids. And we exercised the best human quality: adaptation.
We didn’t knew we could do it. But after all blood, sweat and tears we’re grateful to have the courage, especially being almost 50 years old.

We are back to our home country to celebrate with our family and tell our adventures. This was definitely one of the best years of our lives. The year that courage was bigger than fear.

Thanks for your inspired words.

My year began when my Wife was offered a job overseas...my year began when my Father died...my year began when my Wife attended an interview for the job whilst we were overseas to attend my Father’s funeral...my year began when we had to pack up 28 years of ‘life’ in 3 months and relocate from the Southern Hemisphere to the Northern Hemispere. My year began when we relocated with 2 dogs and a cat...my year began when we were living in a ‘hotel’ for 6 weeks...my year began when I was searching for a ‘house’ to rent...my year began when I found a house to rent...my year began when we moved into the rental and began to make it a home...my year seems to begin every few days...I embrace the changes...

I turned the big 5-0 this year, but that wasn’t the turning point. The turning point was two weeks later (Dec 14th) when I failed to get into school program I’ve been working towards for a couple of years now. I’ve wanted a new career for a long time.
I’m not upset about it, but now I have another choice to make about what to do with my work life. But it’s all good, I’m grateful it was a relatively calm year for my family.

Love this Derek.
For me, Dec 1st of this year. I moved into my 1st art studio. With ceilings high enough to work on my sculptures. Big dream come true through a series of serendipitous events.

When did my new year start? Easy. December 13th 2019. The day we received the keys of our new home. We've been working on this throughout the year.

The night in February when i took my son to the ER because he had been cutting himself.

Thank you Derek. I'm still surprised how well your articles reflect my world view. My year started when I quit my job in September to study again or when I made the decision or ... For me as a computer engineer "round-numbered" birthdays (20., 30., ...) didn't mean anything special to me because that's just another number in the decimal system. In the binary system I could celebrate big every second year. If I would use another calendar system it would also be different. Time is relative.

A new day begins when I wake up - but it happens *roughly* every 24 hours.
Having a baby, changing a job, etc. are big events marking a new era - not a new year.
For me, a new year is a chance to change something even though nothing has changed externally. It's a chance to look back, see the past year, and try to make sense out of what happened - and decide how I want to proceed next.
It's definitely not about a certain date - but the regularity & frequency is important to me.
Living in Europe, I love to start a new year *roughly* around the 1st of January. Because it's deep winter, the best time to think, reflect and plan. Though precisely, my new year can start anytime between the end of November and beginning of February. It depends when I find time to reflect and when I feel like I have some new insights and/or feel ready for change, which will define my new beginning.
This time, my new year might begin on the 2nd/3rd January, when I will spend some quiet time at my brother's house, reading through my diary from 2019 and writing down an outlook (kind of a "master plan") in my new diary for 2020 (based on my notes that I am writing down since November). This is my yearly ritual that I absolutely love.
There have been busy years when I had to skip this completely - and it didn't feel right. The next year felt somehow uprooted.
But there was also one bad year that I felt was not ending yet in December. There were some unresolved issues which I didn't want to take into the new year. So I decided to wait with the beginning of my new year until it felt right - and the time came in the summer. That's when I also started a new notebook for my diaries...

March two years ago...
Thank you Derek!

If I was still living in LA I’d agree with you for the most part because American holidays are very Hallmark, but now that I live in Japan and I have learned about and participated in many traditions, many tied to family, I don’t. Traditions are part of human culture and bring us together. They bring us hope. They remind us that we are not alone.

My family is going to spend New Years on top of a mountain and revel in the first light of the new year while mountain monks sound their conches. Then we’ll make our wishes at a shinto shrine, say a prayer at a Buddhist temple, pick out our lucky charms for the year and eat hot dango. Then we’ll take a lift down the mountain and enjoy soba noodles.

Happy New Year!

I agree with your thinking Derek. My most memorably time was in the late 80's when I migrated to Perth WA. I still wonder why I came back to NZ.

2019 - when my son was born
2020 - when I found out I was accepted to nursing school after 2 years of pre-reqs in my 30’s with kids. Program starts in January.

Yes, very well spoken. Sure we need a calendar to organise our society but as in many things men try to organise they often 'over organise'. And you can't organise everyones personal feelings in one universal calendar, it's a ridiculous thought. Valentine's day was probably created by commerce to remind us to buy something for our loved one's and it's very efficient and convenient that we all act on the same day.

Makes me wonder if you value community or if life's solely about yourself? I don't mean to be harsh, your idea is creative and valuable but lacks appreciation of our common experiences. Events don't have to have practical value to mean something. Shared experiences has intrinsic value, wouldn't you say?

April 15th, a day of great loss.

I don’t know about this.

Seems we are talking about two very different things... one is the set of dates that are personally significant to each of us, and the other is the set of dates when we have agreed to celebrate those things in the abstract, as a community.

Both are meaningful. Both are important. They just operate at different levels.

I love this distinction!

This year really began for me when I got made redundant in May. This year was not much fun.

I did a lot of questioning about what I really want out of life and work. So...

Next year begins on January 6th when I attend Lecture 1 and commence the process to become a clinical psychologist. Next year will be A LOT of fun!

Yeah, I have to agree with you Derek. Flip side is that you have the ability to start over new and fresh whenever you want - you really don't need a "magic" date, time etc., to begin again. That's powerful. Thanks again for the reminder that life really doesn't need to be overly complicated!

The older I get, the more I rail against days and dates that are imposed on us by calendars and corporations. Christmas, NYE, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day are quite meaningless in the general scheme of our lives. They mark nothing other than expectations, and often cause misery for those who, for whatever reason, can't participate as society anticipates.

Hi Derek,
Always enjoy your perspective. My year started roughly around March 31st. Which happens to be an arbitrary date because that was the day I turned 50 years old. I had set my birthday as a goal date to lose 100 lbs. I actually met that goal about 10 days prior to my birthday so actually, my year started around March 21st. In 8 mos. I went from 306 lbs to 206 lbs by making lifestyle changes in my eating habits (low carb) and daily exercise (Mountain biking) A lot of things changed for me for the better after my year started!.

Mark

Great article, I teach my kids the same fundamental values. Treat everyday as a special one since no one is promised tomorrow.

I can sympathize with people not wanting forced calendar celebrations, AND it's OK to have our own celebrations. I think it's too easy for Puritans to go along, day by month by year, like a heedless machine—where DOES the time go?

Too easy. It was (I think) pioneering family therapist Virginia Satire who said that one of the common denominators among dysfunctional families was not celebrating things. I'm still thinking that one over.

In contrast, in the armed forces, every little training course or successful mission is a cause for celebration and maybe receiving a parchment. I suspect that in business, similarly, the top sales forces find lots of little milestones to celebrate.

As for #131 Susan Colket, I can relate to getting out for sunrise as I time my east-facing morning for that. For Babylon-5, (The first US show with a planned story arc, one of five years)where the B-5 station was "the last best hope for peace" the final line went something like, "And for the rest of her life, every morning, Delen would sit on a bench at sunrise."

...As for peace, and # 84 Bill Goldsmith, saying nuclear bombs are a background murmur, I would instead say background clicks... as beautiful bikini beach is merely a radioactive memory. ... Time spent researching peace and oppression is seldom wasted—I don't regret a single peace march I did. Hey, maybe I should celebrate that.
Sing it, sister: "Joshua fit the battle of Jericho, and the wall came a-tumbling down."

I couldn't agree more.

This is so true. My year began on my birthday because as of my next one I’ll be eligible for early retirement! Not that I can afford to take it, but I am going to anyway because I’ve stayed at the job way too long and I’m ready for a new phase of my life. It’s interesting to have this framework of a year to “prepare” for something that always seemed so far off in a vague future. (Let that be a lesson to you young ones!) Anyway, good post, Derek, thanks!

I agree. Numbers? Schmumbers.
So long as I wake up breathing each morning I’ll celebrate life on a daily basis.
With or without fireworks.

Ours was the 29th of Dec. our anniversary...all those many moons ago when we married...and love each other more every year.

Happy New Year my friend. :O)

Remembering that we have the power to determine what is important is our super power. Thanks for this reminder.

Good call sir. I've always felt this way. I think the holidays (like Valentine's day) are nice for the "nudge", but we should all be living the spirit they symbolize the other 364 days of the year. Hope all is well.

- Joe

Very nice thoughts Derek! So very true. Let us not allow commercial holidays and earmarked calendar dates to dictate our most significant changes, moments

July 19th, started the decade for me with the birth of my twins.

Love this way of thinking and will share the mindset with others.

I agree about the significance of events as markers for me. I turned 50 last year and it was just another birthday, but for a great dinner with old friends.

I have almost finished a great (and quick) read on time: The Order of Time by Carlo Rovelli
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Order_of_Time_(book)

Is that the reason we have nownownow.com? ;D

We can have 365 years in a year, or even more. Thanks for the wise article, Derek.

Yes, down under we will be sleeping before midnight and entering the new decade when we wake. 'Calendar' driven days are great for awareness, and forced pause. Its so calm and quiet in the city over the holidays.

Yes I love this.
I duck and hide during the Advertised Days!

I (mostly) agree with your thoughts here Derek,

'Celebrate personally meaningful markers.'

For me, the year never ends nor does my life stop and start again at the beginning of the year. I prefer to acknowledge seasons, as they seem to have more of an impact on my life. when winter comes especially in the UK my whole environment seems to change and the same for summer.

I dont think i want to 'Ignore arbitrary calendar dates.' My thinking is we should all celebrate life whenever we get a chance or when we can...its not forever

My Turing time comes when I deside to turn the page in my life
Take a chance on what I f !
Take chances that can change the world as we know it so the the children so they can
Have a better experience to live in.
Thanks G D M

At first I thought you were just 'calling it in' with this piece Derek but then I decided that I really resonated with it. I can't help but wonder though, what realistically is the alternative to the standard calendar utilized around the world today? The answer is 'obviously' some sort of natural drug-mediated semi digital virtual reality where you can find people who are ready to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years, find them by thousands, at any time you want. In a little place called.. The Twilight Zone.

My year began on July 15th when I decided to perform a solo comedy show during the Solocom fest in NYC. On November 22nd I performed my show “this is fitness” to a sold out audience. Now I already have 2 more shows booked for 2020!

So true!

I almost can't remember when this year started for me but I'm ready to finally end it (in the coming months)... :)

Thank you Derek, all the best!

I consider my "new year" to be in moments when I have small and major shifts in thinking...which is definitely more than once a year. They're more like "new year moments." These moments have included when strongly held views of myself or others give way to new views; when I see a situation from my past or present in a new light, like another angle of that "story" comes into focus; when a milestone has been reached; when I can be grateful in the face of hard stuff which helps me move forward even when it feels really hard; when I prove to myself that I can do something that I didn't think I can do...and so on.

So many amazing, thoughtful and personal replies! I love it!
My year, day and moment each begin when I come back to the awareness of it all. So many beautiful people and things in this world from whom I constantly learn from. My ignorance continues to astound me and for that I am thankful.

Do we have to choose?

Calendar holidays are nice because everyone can plan in advance and spend time together. There are too few occasion for these.

Personal milestones are, as you rightfully wrote, not as celebrated as they ought to.

The turning point which started the current meaningful year for me was when I decided that the customers I was facing everyday were too awful to be benefitting from my hard word and dedication. I quit my job, and was given a promotion to stay with the company. Since then, I have left the trenches and feel much better not having to deal with people who believe that a contract can justify any bad action to take advantage of the other side.

Anyway, Happy New Year, everybody!

My new year began on September 22nd, the day I finally ended my eight-year battle with debt.

It was weird at first — not carrying the mental and emotional burden which you've grown accustomed to over the years can be anxiety-inducing once you no longer have to worry about it.

In a sense, I guess it's similar to the "fear of the blank canvas".

I fully agree. Publicly and popularly celebrated dates and times are fun for getting people together for a quick acknowledgement of something but where the real rubber hits the road is in the day to day. What do you do when no one’s looking? How are you using your time when you have extra of it? Do your dreams really matter enough to sacrifice time and things in order to achieve them? Is there a time table on the goals you have? Are you doing something towards those goals or to better those relationships or to ready yourself for those opportunities? The day of the year and the time of the day has no weight on those questions or answers and I agree that making it happen now is key.

I agree for the most part, though I do believe we as human beings are part of Nature, and Nature has her rhythms and cycles of which we are a part. We can't change when those cycles happen. So, while there are many things that happen in our lives that catalyze a "new year" for us, there are also the seasons and the changes that come with them that happen for us inwardly, whether we're paying attention or not. These changes can generate a new year as well.

This time of year in the Northern Hemisphere, for instance, is very much about finding the light within and tending it to bring forth new light to the world in the coming year, just as happens with Nature after the Winter Solstice. When I consciously tend to this time of year and what is happening within me, I do indeed feel a new year happening for me in early to mid January. It's certainly not on a certain date in particular, but I do feel a "new" beginning happening after this time in the year.

Well said- Right said Derek. A giant marketing ploy or steps to force people to be focus on gratefulness?
Why is everything we do in this life date driven?

I’m all for celebrating life whenever we can :)

I think holidays are good reminders to seek new beginnings, love, etc.

Without fail, every calendar year has good and bad moments. But I recently adopted the tradition of a good friend of mine, who celebrates the New Year on his birthday. It is his own "personal New Year". To me, that makes more sense. Of course it is fun to watch the ball drop and "party like it's 1999" on 12/31 but I tend to be more reflective, and toss around goals and aspirations more on my birthday than on January 1. Having said all that, Happy New Year, everyone!

Thanks for this Derek! It really made me think...

My year began on June 7th. I moved to a new place due to a separation after three years of marriage and quit my job for ethical reasons.

This means I really have just about 6 months left this year. A lot to do!

Thanks,

Lanre.

I think you should do both. Most of the times, culture win.

I use to mark time based on albums I'd released. Sometimes it's been based on moving or job changes. Often though it's nature that marks the years. For example, year of the stinkbug, year of the ants, year of the owl, etc. 2019 began last May when I had to move. 2020? Where are my glasses?

As usual, nice article Derek. Love your different take on normality. One of the better things about retirement - time is no longer relevant, every day is just another awesome day. As long as you have your health, Life is...

Totally agree, but I'd also challenge it a little. I'm going to generalise it a lot, but it seems most people (probably not the ones who read this blog) don't mind that, and almost prefer those commonly agreed dates. I think the craze and the hype these few big dates create works as an example. Maybe people have no choice and get swept by the masses.

As a separate argument, there are set calendar days that most cultures sort of forgotten. Or at least the meaning or massive relevance to everything else. For example: the cycles Winter/Summer solstices and key moments to personal and socially reflect, plan for the next cycle etc.

I see the 'universal dates' as good triggers, without them we could get lost in our routines. Rather than discount them all together I'd say use them as you see fit, if you can add some of your own triggers all the better. Don't forget the benefit of feeling like part of a group, if we didn't have some universal dates I think we'd lose some of that.

For those that like to dive deep, I recommend Dan Pink's book - When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing

I totally agree, and don't celebrate "holidays" ...my year began for me around Sept 1st this year.

Hi Derek, hope Christmas was a family affair and that new year will bring you ☮️ and prosperity. The days blend into each other and time they say never moves backwards. All these calendar dates and special holidays are meaningless to nature. There is only light and darkness, a change in the seasons that seems to take place without clocks and dates and the incremental process of time to mark the advancement of years, but life of animals, plants and humans are not ageless. They grow old and die, that's for sure, but the seasons don't grow old and time seems everlasting.

Mine started on Oct 1st 2019 when I bought my first house- well, that was the day we officially moved in, hubby and I. It is life changing, especially at age 52, to have one's own home. A lovely small 3X1 (less cleaning to do in a small house) with a big yard (lots of gardening and self sufficiency to enjoy creating). I think we will mark it on the calendar in future, Oct 1st. Thanks for the idea to celebrate our own transitions. Husband and I already celebrate September 1st, as our first kiss, cos it washed away years of previously difficult relationshipping and started something very healing for both of us.

Hah, in 2019, I thought my year would really begin on March 18th. This marked the time after working three jobs and having almost no time for myself for more than six months. I was looking forward to this day for months...

When it finally came, quite ironically, I fell in a slump. Guess this happens often. When you finish your exams, or when you finish an important project, there won't just be the expected bliss... but questions like "why am I not happy now?" Because that's what you'd expect.

It was a great reminder of what I'd learned in Shawn Achor's Happiness Advantage -- "I'll be happy when..." doesn't work.

Hedonic adaptation is really nasty ☺

In retrospect, this was an important experience/lesson. Knowing something in theory doesn't mean shit.

Thanks for writing this, Derek.
Happy new year to y'all, whenever that will be for you.

I agree. It took me a lot of flying hours to these new insights. How to start a movement helped me. Thanks Derek.

Hi Derek,
Always a pleasure to read what you have to say on life in general and making changes a reality and throwing new perspectives on ideas. Have a great New Year and look forward to many more of your Articles.

I started working for GPE (greenpeace-energy.de on December 1st. I wanted to do something to protect our earth for our children and therefore left my old job after 9 years to bring my professional power towards the goal I was following during my personal time.

Thanks for your thoughts, Derek
Anyway, calendar markers can have a “magnetic” power to make something come to our mind
The first day of a solar year can be meaningful if only we decide to live that moment as a good time for meditation.
I decided to give up smoking in these last days of the year, for example, just because I don’t want to have a new smoking year in my life and in my body..Am I wrong?
Happy New Year
Paolo

I agree. I’ve had the same thought, especially about New Years. The expectation that it should be a great night filled with joy and expectation.

Although, tonight I will participate in a burning bowl ceremony, where you write down things you want to let go of in your life. That has meaning for me. Tomorrow, the first day of the New Year, I fly cross country to California to spend the first day of the New Year with my family; my son, his wife and their daughter, Juniper.

So this indeed will be a day to cherish and remember. I day to feel love and connection that will so wholeheartedly be a holy encounter and a meaningful start to a New Year.

Great article! Looking back, I think my year started when I began writing books and blog posts in June. Here's to more exciting changes over the next few months!

This year began on May first when my partner retired and we moved aboard a sailing boat for an indeterminate number of year cruising in the Mediterranean.
I’m very inspired by your blog and podcast.
Grateful for the thoughts you provoke.
Best wishes for 2020

Oz

I like the way your mind thinks - brings a lovely clarity to things Xx

Nice try, howsoever Midnight or the next minute is not and has never been a "factor" Derek.

I get it that a lot of others put, for you and maybe me, if I ever think about it, too much "stock" on public display of fleeting interest.

Derek, worry not. Your case is well made and supported.

Instead my hope is that those of us who care about you and thinking, not for a nano second, over invested in a click of the clock.

Is it fair to say, we are "better" than that.

I think we are, otherwise why in hell would we pay attention to you and your content.
Day in and day out, we trust your values and attempt to perform accordingly, especially when no one is looking, if you get my drift and I know you do.

Keep it fresh and know we are with you. We may wander off occasionally, but not at midnight and not when a year changes.

I assure you.
Thanks for "listening". sQs 33445

Helolo Derek

I wholeheartedly agree, our turning points are ususally the start of something great. When I left full-time employemnt, I was cast into a world of opportunities. That was the start of my New Year.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Different times of your life have different purposes. Your job has times for
completion. Events happen that force schedule changes. There are all kinds of reasons for changing things. Life would be very boring if changes of goals and schedules were not allowed.
In today's world with technology advances happening so fast, updating is a needed part of almost every Task. This is true even though I'm now retired.

> Nothing changes on January 1st.

Ha, my Tax form would disagree with this. :D

Otherwise, I agree. Personally December 26th, the day I married, is my "new year" this year. We'll see what's in store for 2020, maybe if I'm lucky I could get another new year very-very soon.

Once again, an insightful idea idea, articulated simply and agreeably.

I fully agree with you. It's just that I use temporal milestones to plan my life, which I cannot using important events of my life, cause those are unpredictable.

As for when my year really began? When I heard my company was shutting down :)

Derek, I agree with you a 100% that the days like Christmas, New Year and Valentines Day are constructed. These days are celebrated more because of expecations of Society. Rather than having personal meaning for you.
The real moments I celebrate are the pivotal moments.
These are the moments where you gain a new insight. Where you take bold actions.
Where you do the unthinkable. Where you move out of the comfort Zone. It can be the really small things, but also really big things.

I think that Setting Goals is important, but I don't make it dependant on the bithday or new years. When I want to Change something, I start right in the moment I think about it. Life is too short to wait.

Major personal marker in my life this year is when my first grandson and 13 days my first granddaughter were born. I do look forward though to celebrating the holidays, introducing different cultures and customs, and syncing up every year with them to review, learn, and grow. Happy New Year, Derek :D

I try not to think in years and only plan and measure objectives in 3 month segments. Its long enough to vet something fairly well and short enough to not hate myself if it turns out to be another stupid idea lol

As a rule I don’t participate in the dozen (or so) official holidays yet I do appreciate them as reminders of people, places, things significant to the evolution of who we have become. The same as I don’t have to go to church to accept a power greater than myself, every so often I appreciate the opportunity to pop in and experience the sanctuary.
It gets crazy with many attempting to officialize dates for less than seemingly significant events (who am I to judge). Yet, somewhere down the road the importance of the time ..? Did Canada become a country on July 1st, 1867...nope. That is the day the documents were reportedly signed. Yet, I for one, appreciate the designation to remind me of those who went before.
Thanks for getting me to think about this...maybe we should officially make this “Think it thru day”.
Seasons Greetings

Derek,

You make great points. My wife brings this up around a holiday like Thanksgiving. We try to be thankful daily and try to raise our kids that way. We do not need a holiday to force us to do this. I agree with many of the comments on this page as well. Let's challenge assumptions, try to be mindful daily, and do our best to leave this earth somewhat better than how we found it. BTW, my 5th grader is learning the Ukelele at school. All the kids are learning it. He may just join the circus! LOl.

Peaks and valleys. In the past 2 years my family and I have had many valleys, and series of challenges that have each come with a bit of suffering and a lot of learning, changing and improvement.

Each challenge was a little different, new business woes, sickness in the family, death of a loved one... I feel like each one it's specific purpose to make us stronger, the process sucks, but it could have sucked more if I hadn't viewed it with a positive lense.

So I agree with the idea that a year, or a season of life doesn't start on commercialized dates that are preset for us to celebrate. I believe if you are truly living life then you are too far into it to go by someone else's schedule.

I feel like when life throws us in a valley it's up to us to understand why and have faith that there is a designed reason for it, accept the challenge and start working through it to get stronger so we can start moving toward the peak again.

Your season could be 2 weeks or 2 years, and you have a 1 in 365 chance it starts on Jan 1st.

New Years fro me will be June 23rd...when my wife and I will permanently move to Costa Rica.

This year (and every year) begins the day after the longest night. Partly because of the traditions which you outline, as a child I felt dislocated and unattached to social expectations around birthdays, christmasses, new years, whatevers. I learnt about the summer and winter solstice and this appealed to me greatly as a marker in time which actually references astronomical time. So, I don't work June 21st or December 22nd (more or less - it varies slightly) and I always grab myself a slice of nature and some me time, zone-out time, get happy, ignore duties, be my best self time. Abandoning the commercial, prescribed traditions for a much older one was all I needed.

Thanks for this amazing perspective. I feel the same way regarding gifts. A gift from the heart no matter how small is more meaningful than a gift given out of tradition.

Hi Derek-

always enjoy your provocative thoughts!

Yes, this year has started multiple times... But have I made it start? Probably not. It has been filled with back-to-back deadlines and meaningful markers but not enough presence to wake up to them.

Time to set up the alarm clock!

It is often said, the way to change your life is through positive thinking! I'll try that I thought! I did,and everything went really well until I got the electricity bill!

Hi Derek,
Thanks for sharing your insights about the important moments in life. I always enjoy your perspective and wisdom, and especially your generosity of spirit in sharing your ideas for the benefit others. All the best as you continue to grow and change and share. Hope you're enjoying your new-ish home at Oxford.

Absolutely agree!!

My ex and I (amicably) broke up before Xmas last year. She died suddenly last March at the age of 28 as a result of her epilepsy. I couldn't echo more the sentiment that you've expressed here. While I hope I can start afresh tomorrow, her would-be 30th birthday and the anniversary of her death are both around the corner in February and March.

I do agree with the importance of personal markers on one's life Derek, but I'm not in full agreement about universal dates. Yes, celebrating your love in a personal relationship on a specific date is more of a marketing gimmick than anything else, but celebrating the new year, or the passing of a past year, or our independence on the 4th of July, or Memorial Day and Labor Day with friends, family and strangers is one of the things that helps remind me that I'm human and I'm part of a community and connected to the world. I love the moment everyone sings that Robert Burns classic at the stroke of midnight, or singing our national anthem (in spite of it's glorification of bombs and war) on the 4th of July, or being thankful with family and friends around a Thanksgiving table. I have many personal markers as well, like the anniversary of my first date with my wife, Nov 2nd, or my birthday, or the day my Father died, etc., but the markers where we universally mourn, celebrate, sing together are also important to me.

As always thought provoking and spurring debate. Perhaps your best one to date.

My 'new year'started when I put my happiness as first priority early december. :)

Nevertheless, I am grateful for the holidays which provides time for reflection.

All the best,
Pernille

Thanks for putting this out. Most new year resolutions are usually settled upon on a spur of the moment basis thereby sabotaging their achievement for the very start.Meaningful change for me usually kicks in two or three months into the new year.

Shared on the socials because I agree so very much. The challenge is how to ignore / disregard the social / relationship pressures that come with the "obligatory" holidays. How to do that without alienating / pissing off / excluding one's family and loved ones?

I strongly suspect the only answer is to choose your own family and get different loved ones...

My sentiments exactly. This is the real reason, despite many people's convenient stereotyping of me, that I don't celebrate holidays of any kind including my onw birthday. Taking this an idea to an extreme, if you're usually an asshole to me don't bother pretending to be nice to me merely because somebody who died before either of us were born designated something on the calendar. That's phony, at least when you were being an asshole to me you were being authentic. On the flip side of the coin, for the people who are near and dear to me it's the little moments we've spent together, those moments and memories that are distinctly ours, that make our connection what it is, a deep and abiding bond.

"Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so." -- Ford Prefect

Thoughtful article.... I feel the New Year is January 1st. It dosent make any successes seem farther away because I see the new year as January 1st. It has to start somewhere. But personally I keep going pushing to make the new year a new starting point for more opportunities.

Never leaving anyone nor anything behind in last year but taking everyone and everything with me. January 1st is a continuation of life to me..


Rev Tina Redden

I do a list of goals to accomplish each year at the new year marker,Jan 1st. Not resolutions. Some big, some little I try to do 10.and I have all year to accomplish. But things like financial goals I try to get started on early in January. I usually fulfill them all but even if I dont I've improved or "moved forward" and that's better than nothing! Happy New Year!

For me this year already started on December 26th.

By the way, you have a great voice! Smooth.

Hey Derek! Thanks for the great New Year blog and thoughts! I'm really excited to see what 2020 will bring and all the cool creations artists will make! I really enjoy your new audio addition to your blogs! Excellent job my friend and cheers to you as well! See you in 2020, Derek!

Trey McGriff
WhiskeyChild.com

Hi Derek,

Well.....

Remember tweeting about being at the coast in your camper van with your son? I commented, sometimes I think you are living my life which prompted me to ask myself, why not?

That was when things changed, when the year turned, when the new began. I live in my van now, I walk and climb and run in new places, do new things, meet new people. I'm 55, I spent a lot of time waiting, too much time. Time is personal. Thank you Derek for being you.

Agree to disagree, my friend!

newyearsrevolutionary.com/

As always, thanks so much for your work, Derek. Really appreciate you taking the time to put your content in audio form as well.
Looking forward to the books!

Congratulations on the podcast:)

I kinda extend this philosophy to my work by taking the Wednesday off instead of Saturdays. It has made a big difference in my life to avoid crowded malls, cinemas, and restaurants.

Anyway the point is that by switching public markers to private markers you also get a lot of benefits too like avoiding paying big premium for valentines day and new years, crowded places, etc.

Derek,

For sure I agree with your sentiments with regard to establishing personally meaningful celebrations. At the same time, I believe that the new year celebration can function as a powerful catalyst to propel us towards those very changes, that we will then celebrate via the aforementioned personally meaningful milestones.

Do you remember when you were starting out as a musician? Having a gig booked at a specific time and place grounded you in your practice in order to be prepared for a specific moment. I have found that there is nothing better for my musicianship than to simply have a gig booked, because suddenly all my practice has a purpose, which is to prepare me to show up at a specific time and place, ready to shine.

New Years is like that, except for life in general, rather than the pursuit of music. It connects us to a moment to aim for, a moment at which we give ourselves permission to be different from how we were. To evaluate what is not working in our lives, and and to at least make aspirational decisions...to drop old ideas or habits which no longer serve us. Basically, to make progress as human beings.

Best,

George

Thanks for channeling my mind. Great, keep posting.

I hear what you are saying and as I get older, I appreciate the big shifts in my life with more reverence.

I really like do like new years because of the unity.
There are all (or that majority at least) of the people in my timezone that are aligned in thought.

In hope, promise, reflection, or bliss.

It's the unity of purpose that brings me joy on this day, at midnight.

Maybe it's me wanting to be part of the crowd or maybe believing more in humanity. I revel in the thought that I am in sync with humanity in a moment of optimism and joy.

And that makes me feel good.

Thank you for sharing and here's to another day.

Boom!

Right on Derek-

I've mostly done that and of course gotten beaten up over those made-up dates that the world has programmed in our heads.

When I think of important events - they're just how you describe them and often I think of music that was in my life at the time as well. I think of a past event and hear music and hear music and think of past events as well - both good and bad!

I just watch such a interesting show on all the calendars that have existed with mankind and that fact that we use this one - because it aligns with the earth and sun rotation doesn't make much sense to me...

I'll skip the time conversation - and how time works and we perceive it as well.

I've had a few new beginnings for sure and those are the markers!

Happy New Year!!

Totally agree with what you have expounded in this article. But another way of looking at it is that it reminds you that everything comes to an end and there is always a new beginning in life. A new beginning is a symbol of hope and that's what is celebrated. Yes and we don't need a general date for it but it could be personal marker. But till the time people realize this and have their own markers a general date for celebration might just help them.

I Never thought of it in that way, but now 100% agree with you at this moment. I read one of your post about diary lists on March 22th, 2019. And following that idea, I start to write my diary again. And now it is 234 pages. From that day, I start to learn about myself. Thank you again for your post, Please post more as much as you can.

Nov. 5th I flew off to join a rock band. :)

I love your article even though I think quite differently. I agree that the actual dates and times are quite arbitrary and are helpful when coordinating with others, but I think the value of time, dates, days, months and years etc are excellent structures for each of us to build on.

Without structure we would be totally lost and unable to create - even live! These constructs have helped us develop and build things - including this technology we are connecting through.

The meaning we give things is another crucial factor and we have the power to create and change the meaning of time and dates so that it works for us not against us.

Yes! Yes! And a triple Yes!
Yet, those yes’s exclaimed, I’d not have stopped to write several paragraphs of meaning last month had I not been asked to write a devotional for our church community’s Advent calendar, and when several folks told me what it meant to them in our various lives, I realized how pausing at Christmas in a purposeful way helped me get back in touch with a form of communication, that of letting the memories of meaning that have rambled around in my being for years, come together and be expressed. There are many more in me (old stories), in each of us, of course, and being asked to interrupt my regularly scheduled events towards my own accomplishments in order to tie meaning from old human interactions of mystery or some depth to the regularly timed occasion of what Christmas means over years and years of tradition seemed to’ve come together hand in glove. Briefly said, these “holidays” can sometimes help one discover “new years” within ourselves. And, back to your points of “time” , I agree that continuous calendar reminders that come so one after the other with implications for how one should be or should feel on cue, can create havoc in human hearts! I enjoy your thoughts shared with us. They stir one’s courage to find, continue shaping and enjoy the time we have left on earth, and to protect that important act.

My year begins in the late summer when my kids go back to school. I always felt like it marks a time when we all get serious about getting organized for the coming 10 months. My 2 cents

I’ve been thinking about your post and my reply and thought I should add this song I wrote about the subject of rituals for a tv show called “RITUALS”. As it turned out, the producer already signed Lou Raul’s even before an associate asked me to write a theme song. Still I was glad that the request inspired me to write the song.
vimeo.com/digifilm/ritual
Last night New Year’s Eve, we enjoyed meeting new friends and celebrating 🥳🥳 with games and healthy food and film
And music talk and sharing ideas and projects. Thank you for your very thought provoking emails! Love to you and yours and all of the tribe who contribute! I do enjoy reading everyone’s thoughts!

Hi Derek, great post.

I think these forced celebrations not only disconnects them from the subject of the celebration itself, but also demeans the quality of the celebration, and the same can be said for gifts on such days.

If I only show genuine special effort in my romantic relationship on Feb 14, then perhaps I am not doing it *because* I love my girlfriend, no, it's just because it's Valentine's day.

If I only give gifts to my loved ones on Christmas, then I'm not giving them a gift because I genuinely wanted to give them a gift, otherwise, I could have picked any of the other 363 days that aren't their Birthday or Christmas.

If I am only thankful on Thanksgiving, am I not then unthankful at large?

Perhaps it is better to create these special moments and celebrations on a completely random day, just because you really want to show the people in your life how much you care about them, and not because of social pressure.

One of the most memorable moments of my life occurred when I was 17, when I flew an airplane solo for the first time. I can never remember the date, though. If I want to look up the date, I need to look at my logbook.

In life, introspection is important, and action is important. They rarely go together, at least if the action is significant. I'm not thinking of my life's purpose while concentrating on a landing. I'm not thinking of my life's purpose while running (breathing is hard enough). I'm not thinking of my life's purpose when concentrating on a piece of code I need to get written.

Having arbitrary times to revisit one's life can be incredibly useful. If people use the new year for that, who am I to judge? Similarly, if people want another excuse to get together and throw a party, what's the harm? (As long as I'm not required to go. I'm an introvert.)

My new year begins every morning when l wake up and thank my God for another day to be alive in this beautiful world, ( despite some of the horrendously bad things happening). It's a new beginning to smell the fresh air, to see the blue sky, and the opportunity to be kind to everyone, especially strangers

I agree with your thoughts here almost entirely, HOWEVER, for those not leading self-examined/thoughtful lives, forced celebrations on universal dates may be the only opportunities or injunctions they ever receive to reflect on such immensely important things as gratitude (Thanksgiving), romantic love (V-Day), compassion (X-mas), and life trajectory (NYE and B-day). It may not be ideal and it may not be for you or me, but for now, these arbitrary markers still serve an important purpose.

My new year starts January 13th with a new job that will be unlike any I’ve ever held.

A very cool concept... I like the audio book version Derek... My life went into meltdown mode on December 7, 2019 a day of infamy in our world's history, but a day of emotional devastation for me when I GOT FIRED from a position that I really invested my heart and soul into for just about 2 years, without a Penney of any compensation for thousands of hours of my hard work and lost energy invested... A look at my Facebook post for December 7 will give you an idea of my loss!!!:-0~

My new year just happened to coincide with the calendar New Year, although I did not plan it that way. Surviving being the only survivor in my family, finally figuring out that I cannot (always) follow, new paradigms, and not just because I am old school or a fool. Acknowledging tangible barriers to success, knowing there are things that happen in life that can cause even a superman to fall; surviving these, even if you will never be the you you could have been, never giving up, even if no one gives a bloody damn. We agree on these moments in time to celebrate a possible shared renewal, but this does not make our private and often secret renewals any less real.

Very true, these stupid specific days are another way of slavery and consumerism.

The market hawks want to make they bucks.

I haven`t bought a Christmas gift or birthday gift for anyone in a while. But I have bought random gifts or written random letters of thanks. But they are only random relative to the preconceived dates you speak of. There is a time for gifts and words of encouragement et cetera. Its incumbent upon us as citizens of our community to keep our eyes open to the needs of those around us. I am very much an amateur at this. But when I am present and make that right decision. I`m happy.

Love this setup bro..
Easy practical and to the point..

Great read as always Derek. We operate out of traditions sake. As you mentioned, the more that happens the more disconnected we become from the "why."

It would be wonderful if we consistently ask ourselves the why during each planned and expected celebration, and more importantly celebrate the TRUE new years

Ooooh yeah. I totally agree.

I think about the day starting when I wake up too. My new year began for me in November of last year, when I broke up with my boyfriend after 11 years (yup I know.. WAAAY too long). It was abusive and I finally woke up to it after deeply examining our relationship and questioning some beliefs I had that held me back. So I think of those 11 years as one big long year, trying to teach me all sorts of lessons, good and bad.

This is a great article, and of course it was presented at the perfect time. Thank you for creating and sharing this. :)

Derek, as I get older, I hope I am wiser and as you say the year end does not have a magical change at the hour. More that we use it to make changes or set new ways. My year marker was back in March 2018 when my contract ended and DIY in the newy home started. Still knee deep in DIY magazines but I can see the way out soon. Also concentrating on my life forward as I reach 60. Not the number but preparing for a different stage in life as in normal employment. Age has a barrier. Going forward in the New year, for me its more about setting changes and keeping those going. It does not have to be on the New year. Celebration with friends in the new year and family were the important markers. I hope you had a lovely festive period and look forward to your thoughts in the future. Vinny

Excellent article.

Nov 20. The date my plane landed in China. Had thoughts of anxiety and other weird symptoms prior to coming here. Plus all the months of document preparation. Plus the year prior after the bad breakup. One day in the city of Zhengzhou, and thoughts of fear and anxiety just... Up and lifted away.

Good things have happened to me one after another. The great apartment, good housemate, local people who take kindly to me, lots of warmth and friendliness. The frozen shoulder has improved too. Even the work situation.

My kids in school are great. Each day interacting with them is super great! Loving my life this month plus since i got here. Noticing the tiny shifts in me personally. I feel that coming to china heralds a return to my long held dreams when i was a child, an affiliation of my "chinese" roots, an affirmation of values/dreams/beliefs that had been locked in my heart for so long that i had forgotten them. So for me, the day my year began was November 20 2019.

You would have understood my comment to those in my home who were watching all the NYE celebrations on television.
"Yes,that is an astonishing display of mass agreement to pretend there is such a thing as time and that this is somehow a more important moment of the thing called time, and that the tribal rituals including costumes and elixirs are on display thanks to copious use of the thing we call money!"
We are making ALL of this up, and I am trying to write a better story in which we are kind to each other and smart about the use of resources and mindful of how little time living things have to be alive and how we could instantly elevate everyone's experience if we agree to.

I get what you are saying, but set times to celebrate things gets everyone on the same page at the same time.

For instance, New year's. Everyone is so busy that taking time to reflect on the past year and what you want to do differently in the future is a luxury that people would normally not give themselves.

Also, set holidays mean traditions that are passed on from generation to generation. They are powerful things to share. Christmas, for instance, is filled with bonding activities.

As for gratitude, people don't usually take time to be grateful. There's no real time to reflect on all your blessings when you are rushing from one to do list to another.

Set holidays get you to do things you normally wouldn't, and for that reason they are valuable.

I was honestly going to go to sleep before midnight on New Year's Eve, because I was thinking, it's just another day. However, I did stay up so that I could have some fun with friends.

I agree. Hollidays are just another day to get off work, and there isn't much to New Year's Eve other than to "cooridante" between computers and culture, like you said.

Interesting. I've never really thought about it that way but i've certainly noticed that the first of january doesn't have any particular meaning to me. However on october 21st I was initiated into a yoga practice called Shambhavi Mahamudra Kriya. That was a very powerful and memorable day. Since then things have begun anew for me.

Burdens , burdens....my Webster's Student Dictionary, define burden...Something carried, a load . Something difficult to bear, as a worry, responsibility , etc.

Holidays, are they a burden ?

YES ! In some cases . NO ! In some cases . In either case , yes or no , depends of course, upon the particular person's disposition , regarding the issue .

A Traffic Stop Sign , is a bother , to the driver of car, who is late for work ! To the pedestrian , crossing the street , it is a life savior !

Happy 2020, nice piece!

Cee~

Hi Derek, THANK YOU! I share your view on "Hallmark Holidays." (Sorry Hallmark) It bothers me to watch people I care about get bound up by forced celebrations. These preassigned days of remembrance and celebration are loaded with the pressure of expectations which can lead to disappointment, which ultimately causes unnecessary drama.

I personally like remembering birthdays though, especially when that recognition is genuine. When I care about someone I like to show it to them throughout the year. Kind words and acknowledgment have more value than material gifts. I like to gift my grandkids with new experiences - "adventures with grandma" we call them. Giving them a little bit of extra attention on the day of their birth is like the cherry on an ice cream sundae.

Will not happen until I record a HIT - - -

Having celebrations on universal dates makes it easier for companies to know when to sell holiday specific gifts. Imagine stores having to stock valentines day merchandise all year round, or worse yet if they did not stock valentines merchandise all. Imagine not being able to buy your significant other a fluffy stuffed heart.

Derek you hit the nail on the head, we need to take responsibility and be thoughtful and celebrate when there is meaning for us.

Reward & Celebrate !!!

Well said! A new year, a new day, begins in that moment you stop, slow down, change trajectory. The felt-effect is instantaneous. The outcomes often unfold sequentially across time.

100% Agreed! The turning point for me this year was when my current band finished our debut banjo-funk-comedy-rock album (I also recorded / mixed / produced it). We've been getting awesome gigs ever since and its the most fun I've had playing music in years!

glacialerraticband.bandcamp.com/album/the-rest-of-this-page-was-intentionally-left-blank

Hi Derek,
All the best for 2020.
(I will post the link of your potcast to one of my facebooks

best Regards
Jan

Carpe Diem
Be well always

Totally agree with your sentiment and view in the article Derek. As I approach retirement from full time working, turning points will be more personal and less dictated by arbitrary dates in a diary or a calendar.

Sweetness!

Hi Derek, I feel similar. Sometimes I refused to celebrate a calendar date when I didn't feel like it. Luckily my wife is with me on this. For me 2020 started on Dec. 13, 2019, when I made a commitment to build a brand new business. Cheers.

Much love for you Derek for putting this into words.

My life began once I realized how being grateful every day, impacting the lives of others positively and believing in following what my heart knows is my destiny fulfills me.

Few years ago, I had to sell the idea to my wife about not celbrating valentines day, new year and other BS. Glad I am on the same page as Derek.

My new year began Nov 2019 with our second baby. Life will evolve faster than ever.

Those time markers are constants athat everyone shares because they cannot be avoided.
There are billions of stars in the sky but only a few are designated constellations, & those are navigational constants that are used to determine your course. The sun always rises in the east & sets in the west, unless you are on the north or south pole. Water will always find it's own level. So designating days as points in time (another trip 'round the sun) is part of the shared human experience, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, and you can choose to share these moments or not as well. My heart beats, I breathe. I choose to share that through music. I doesn't have to mean anything to anyone else, and if something I do is very important to me, yes, it is a point in time to be remembered and celebrated.
And of course, I choose to celebrate the common experience of every day with whoever is around me because that is sharing LIFE.
:)

"Celebrate personally meaningful markers. Ignore arbitrary calendar dates." A sentiment I've long felt but struggled to articulate effectively when pressured to honor calender dates. That said, I never found it hard to honor those special time markers in the lives of those I loved. Thanks for this.

Totally agree. This 1 January was the first I didn't celebrate and I feel free.

Hi Derek,
Thanks for this article. I agree that the important moments are not what is arbitrarily acknowledged as such. Our personal markers are what are most profound.

In December, at the second an important truth was revealed and acknowledged... hope was renewed and the quiet calm that comes with peace started my year.

And thank you very much for inspiring these moments of thought and discussion. Always love hearing from you.

I don't mind the "hallmark" holidays because they allow family and friends to plan time to be together, there are work holidays, etc. However, I agree with everything else here. It's the milestones and the choices we make that truly mark the clean slates and new year or new life.

To be honest this year has not begun for me yet. Am putting together a new business venture so this year will begin for me upon its launch.

Thanks for this article. I really found it meaningful.

Thoughtful comments--thank you, Derek!

Lots to think about here.
I appreciate the new podcast too.
Happy new year, whenever it begins/began. :)
CN

I agree with celebrating on your personal life experiences...100%

I do feel the designated holidays are more reminders to help those who have a hard time acknowledging the good things in life.

Plus, they are positive and we can always use more of that. Cheers!

Good stuff! You always make great points! I appreciate you encouraging people to stay in tune from an internal perspective versus just following the external world. My boyfriend and I started dating a few days before Valentines Day and I enjoy celebrating around that time (not specifically on Valentines day, which I have usually found to be a bit of a forced awkward holiday) - but I do like celebrating and honoring our own personal relationship journey by remembering the magic of our first date and reflecting on how our lives have changed ever since! It's become an annual ritual / tradition / meaningful way to connect us and appreciate our own sacred date. :)

Thank you for this. I struggled with the 2019 New Year's and Christmas celebrations - they seemed off to me, even though I was surrounded by family. I was thinking it was just because I've been depressed lately. But as usual, your succinct post puts things into better perspective for me.

We celebrate arbitrary calendar dates from a calendar that's arbitrary in itself (the Gregorian calendar - and before that the Julian calendar and before that...)all which doesn't depict true human time/existence.

Anyway...this year really began for me on November 1, 2019, when I was forced out of a job that I worked really hard at for 10 years. But truly, I didn't like the people at the job and should have left it a long time ago. So it was probably a blessing (I'm still exploring that).

Your post puts things into perspective because I can use that date as a post marker for a "new beginning." I can celebrate it with all the reverence of a Christmas and all the fervor of a New Year's celebration. Looking at Personal Life Changes as Your New Year is a positive way to deal with things.

Really like your articles, especially the reading, thanks~

I like how you described birthday celebration as a celebration "to celebrate someone’s life".

I never thought about that in this way. I always thought about it as a day when people celebrate someone's age basically. I really like the idea to celebrate that your family members or friend are literally ALIVE and that's great, because you can experience more great adventures with them, spend time with them, laugh etc. And of course you can celebrate this day whenever you want to and not when the calendar says that, because this has nothing to do with age.


Thank you Derek, I appreciate what you do.
Greetings from the Czech Republic

As usual, you say what I’ve been feeling always.
Thank you for enunciating.
I like the “it’s not selfish”, although many a time, I’ve been labelled this and worse, shunned by family and often mainstream society.
Working in a very mainstream job, public education, my opinions have often been criticized & I’ve felt both an outcast and socially warped. I’ve never wanted to celebrate the myriad of celebrations that come through each year, but I’ve always pretended to partake and often obliged to teach these customs to my students as curriculum.
Alas, I believe that I will now feel much more keen To step outside norms and celebrate what I want when I want because I merely want.

Thank you

Any kind of celebration kinda brings people together in some way..there’s something bonding about that, I like it. To me it’s what’s at the heart of those involved that makes it meaningful/special or not so even the universal dates can be very thought-full. Apart from following a calendar, birth is the beginning and death is the end...each day is another day in my journey, one day follows another and life is constantly changing. It doesn’t compute for me to think about something being a new year/beginning. All that said, there’s a few things I’m itching to do and I’d love to look back in the near future and celebrate whatever the outcome is of giving them a shot! There’s changes ahead that I know of and it’ll be challenging and fun to see how they turn out. I love celebrating in all sorts of ways for all sorts of things :D

Hello Derek how are you?

My thoughts about your article reminded Deepack Shopra words;The Pass is history, the Future is a mystery and the Present is a Gift.

I like a lot your articles.

Thank you very much for posting.

Happy 2020 or 0202???

Could never connect with the concept of New Years Eve, Mothers Day, Valentines day etc. Thought I was a misfit. Glad to know I'm not alone with this thought process.

If your year begins when something new takes place, when does the year end? The moment before something else new or extraordinary occurs?

Hi Derek
I’m from Brazil, living in Brussels for 5 years with my family . Also on the road of self reform and trying to be less materialist and minimalist with material things.
I don’t agree with your thoughts.
Calendar time for us is like a Gate to pass and we use it as reference to set some targets. Also there the celebrations aspect - and we use it to celebrate our targets.
The most important is not to put in evidence the commercial aspect of the date.
I taught it to my daughter since she was born...and it worked.
That’s the reason we express real happiness in some dates and some people do not understand us...
Um grande e caloroso abraço
When in Brussels, contact us!

As a student who became a campus bum who eventually manage to worm his way back into academia, I always think of the new year as starting in September.

I first read this when I was first published, and it was SO INSPIRING. My thoughts exactly, abliet not so articulately as master Sivers makes it looks so easy.

I inadvertantly ended up spending New Years, unplanned, in a city in India that I wouldn't have otherwise been in had it not been for extending healing time required for injury received during a creepy budget-priced Yoga TTC, wherein several people sustained the same injury.

To make a long story short, I felt really good spending time just relaxing and healing on New Years Eve after reading this. And will always remember, and be grateful for Derek's writings!

Time will tell. Maybe it was a date I had. ;) There are no anniversaries, holidays, or birthdays that top one specific day you spent with someone that was unique and can never be duplicated or recreated.

I certainly get your point Derek. And I agree with you. At the same time, I'd be a little reluctant to completely skip celebrating Valentine's Day or my wife or daughters's birthdays! :)

So, theoretically, I agree. Practically, I think I'll keep the milestone days and celebrate them....but keep in mind that I don't have to wait until Valentine's Day to bring my wife flowers and chocolates. And it seems _better_ to do thoughtful things on days when you aren't strong-armed into it by society.

What should we use as a generic Happy Birthday.....Happy Lifeday Derek!

same.

My new year began January 6th with a mitral valve heart repair surgery.
At 58,REALLY big changes to my life with my first ever surgery and stay in a hospital.e
With the next three months off from work to heal, and rehabilitate, i feel "reset" in a way that i have never before.
Way less contemplation in a idle way, of how i wish to spend my time that is left, and way more focus and intention and balance to the here and future.
Plus it had given me the freedom to attend to the little things that crop/pile up over the years- attic spaces, closets, desk drawers, etc.

Thank you, Derek!!

My year began with a breakup, move across the country, and starting a new job all at the same time two months ago. It began again when I started to embark on a new venture in bodybuilding two weeks ago. Great perspective on how the arbitrary markers truly don't mean much in the grand scheme of things but rather the things we do to make significant changes in our lives.

My year didn't begin on 1st of January, since I was on a vacation trip, and nothing really changed. My year began when I started putting a plan into action. That consisted of scheduling my top priority habits in the morning, so in the worst case scenario that I miss one or two habits, I still have the afternoon and night to catch up. In other words, I'm very consistent with my good habits plan and it is already showing huge changes in my life.

That happened somewhere in mid January.

I agree, and my first thought was that this perspective comes with age, but with a little more reflection I changed my mind. I have touchstones throughout my life, when a beloved pet died, when i moved to Australia. When I had a tragic hairdressing accident and most recently I measure and mark my life relative to my being hit by a car and when friends and family members have died. For some of these I have a rough idea about how many years it's been. But it's not very precise.

Well said! The ancient Greeks also knew this. I was recently introduced to the idea of Kairos time (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kairos) in contrast to the more familiar notion of Chronos time. I like to think of Kairos as 'energetic' time. Something that's in tune with energies, rather than imposed by a metronome.

However... I still feel there's a value and power in collective ritual, as long as it's approached in a way that it can be in tune with our personal energies!

@Nadina Mackie Jackson wrote what my heart says. Thanks for this article @Derek Sivers. Now I can show people what I think about these forced celebrations.

I never thought of it this way, but you're right. Makes more sense somehow too...

Just finished the book “Anything You Want: 40 Lessons...” when all China people quarantining at home for the new virus. So technically our career new year haven’t started until now.
One mentor used to recommend outsourcing because he’s in trading business, time is most important.
Now we just started a new small factory. Our clients are mostly local and nearby industries. Our boss want to streamline the process now, but find it not realized most of the time. We are trying to figure out our own way to survive, and maybe thinking about double.

Exactly!
My year started when I went to Murano and met a glass artist and realized I use my day work to distract myself from creating art. Here's to my own new beginning, on my own calendar. Thank you!
I also like the audio!

Although I tend to agree with your statements surrounding dates like Valentine’s Day and perhaps New Year’s, I cannot discount the importance of tradition surrounding yearly markers. It can be quite satisfying to look back every December 31st and take a count of all one has done and accomplished in the previous year. I think the gravity of that is quite relevant. And yes, although our “ time markers” were established in some cases quite randomly, like Thanksgiving in the states, they can be events to look forward to. Not so much for the importance of the day but for the connections we have with what we do on those days. Having said this I do agree that it is important to celebrate daily accomplishments or the end of a project that has taken time to complete, i.e. finishing a series of art works or completing a compilation of musical compositions. Celebrating a new day is important as is celebrating every day that has passed or hopefully will come tomorrow.

Well put, Derek. “In the end it's not about how many breaths you took. In the end it's about the moments that took your breath away.” I haven't given much thought to my birthday and never much cared to make a fuss over it but I immediately liked the idea of personal markers to honor those transitions/vicissitudes that shape us and through which our destiny gets forged. Whether in a grand gesture or a modest unadorned way, I feel there are many ways to reconnect with that energy that led us to the present and those blackswan events in life that then go on to have outsized impacts on our lives for better or for worse. Whether one is generalyl content with their lot or not, it seems meaningful to remember what got them there and reflecting on key events even if one is miserable at the moment might prove invaluable, a realization that certain events had outsized consequences and led to the present can then open up space for new dates of import to arise in one's life. Like the date someone undertakes bold action to alleviate their misery instead of sucummbing to it. Such events should be celebrated and honored I feel. II do not see any downside either way in knowing, honorying, even celebrating thyself (and others) in this way and tend to agree it seems superior to the transactional/commercial way I often observe.

Wow. I totally agree with you, my new year, started on November 2019, when I began to recover my health from 3 months of struggle.

My next new year will begin when I am completely off meds. :)

Thanks for sharing this idea with us.

Time is short. Things I spend time on today could be gone a day later. My time is made up of things I intended to do well but didn't, and things I shouldn't have done, but did. An unfinished song, lost love and uncompleted goals cause me to look back and carefully avoid more of the same. Meanwhile, Here I stand on the doorstep of 2020 with the question: "Will it be a good year?" Only Time will tell.

2018 Began April 24 - the day my partner of 7 years left when I finished cancer treatment. And I felt relieved. That was the first day I understood what it was to be homeless.

2019 Began Dec 1 - After 25 years living in Sydney, I returned to my parents home in Adelaide and started building something, I never thought could be born in Adelaide

2020 Began on Jan 29 - It was the day I listened to your podcast 'How I became Ryuichi Sakamoto's guitarist'.
- Being in the middle of things increases your chances for opportunities
- Everything great that happens in your career starts with someone you know
- When you hear of an opportunity you have to go over-the-top
- The tiniest detail can derail everything.

Home is transient and nowhere feels like home and everywhere feels like home.
Thanks for that. Your words change my life on a daily basis.

Derek, Your thoughts and observations of what's important to each one of us IS different. And SHOULD be celebrated and usually is remembered accordingly! And they're absolutely true! Haven't we been trained so well from when we were little just like our parents? Your observations are SO REFRESHING and bring back a part of me long buried in learning the art of growing up and following the "proper" and right way to think and be in this warped Society. That's what's nice about being different. Or at least what most people think we are. My pop used to tell me, when they made me they broke the mold cuz he can't figure out where I came from. hahaha. I ALWAYS loved when he said that. It still makes me feel VERY special. Keep writing kiddo..YOUR DOING GREAT! WOW! you migrated to England huh? What made you decide to go to England? I'm going through what you've written and I started in the back. Looking forward to reading what else you've written . Depending on the election over here and how soon I get my matters straightened out, I most likely will be leaving the states too. IRIE & BLESSINGS continue to be with YOU my friend from afar!

My year HAS NOT begun yet dear friend. But, I am working in it.😁💃🏾🤸🏽‍♂️🎶🎶💖

I agree Derek, I feel my year starts on my birthday!
And my husband likes to surprise me all year, not on 2/14 with romance.
THIS YEAR!
My year just ended last Sunday with the forced closing of the All Festivals, due to the Coronavirus 19 pandemic here in Arizona.
That ended my work,and sales.
And, while we were working, the fear of catching the virus kept us all on our defenses! St. Patrick's day, was what we were celebrating this last weekend. I didn't knock my mug in CHEERS with others like in other years! Or say, "kiss me, I'm Irish" even though I was always joking in years past!
So, my point is.... in years past, I took the year and the holidays for granted. The new year has just begun. I don't know what it will bring. God, only knows. So, one day at a time, I will live life to the fullest, and give the most love, the most then I can, without getting infected, or infecting!
And, take what life throws at me.
Happy St. Patrick's day everyone!
CHEERS!🤪

Yep - this is right. New year and new markers are on my timetable.

I've thought of this way of thinking before. I see these points of reference to be more like milestones.

Hi I totally agree with you.
This generalization about celebration don't interest me.

I wonder how old we all are, in our real years.

There will be stretches of time when we age faster, or slower.

I'm at least 10, but quite possibly over 40 if I look back long enough to catalogue all the turning points. We'll all live to be hundreds of years old at this new rate.

Enjoyed your views! My day begins when I wake up, but my year begins January 1 and anything that happens within that year is part of that year. That is what works best for me.

Your thought process blows my mind. The way you put complicated thoughts into simple words is pretty cool...genius even! Thank you ;)

Ignore arbitrary calendar dates...
Unless you don't celebrate personally meaningful times - then the arbitrary calendar dates serve as a kickstart to acknowledging and thinking about personally meaningful times. If these dates can be the activist for thinking about the "whys"... why do we celebrate this? ...why do we do this then?
Nice text, thank you.

I love this idea, I am currently starting up a hand made greeting card business and it's inspired me to create cards and gifts to celebrate more personal achievements and times of growth, rather than calendar dates! x

Everyday
{
Live one day and one part of a
day at a time.
Reboot and restart as many times
as you want.
}

I'm 55 years old and recently retired from law enforcement. I have been working since I was 16 and every job I ever had I worked most holidays.

My first day in the academy one of the instructors informed us that Christmas is no longer December 25th, it is when you make it work for you and your family.

This year began for me when I sold everything and moved my family to México. A big life change.

Brilliant - midnight means nothing. When u wake up its a new day and a new beginning!

Beautiful words. I feel like this is a thought that has itched at the back of my head, but your insight helped me find that meaning. Thank you.

This gave me a whole new perspective on things and time.

If I don't pick the dates myself, they don't matter - including my birthday.

My wife and I celebrated our 20th anniversary on Dec 15th, 2020. Besides being amazed at the fact we have been together for 20 years, we reflected on what life was like the day we got married. We had flip phones, no cell phones, my work email wasn't on my phone so when we went to get married at the courthouse in NYC, we had to sit around looking at all the other people getting married. No one was staring at a phone or scrolling through social media. While it seemed like a long time ago, it was eye-opening to realize how quickly, relatively speaking, our lives have changed in the past couple of decades.

I expected to just learn a neat little fact or something like that and move on after sitting on it for a bit but I have no answer for the question at the end. There hasn't been anything really meaningful in a long time.

p.s. written during COVID

Can't agree more! 'A new year begins when there’s a memorable change in my life. Not January 1st. Nothing changes on January 1st.
That's why I never stay up until 00:00 to celebrate the new year ,but take notes of special days in a year.

I came here just after reading your book , it gave me some hints on 'Why create a business' and What if you just want your business to be small, your story really an open-eye for me.

Derek,
Thoughtful post and echoes my sentiments. Rather, the vague notion I've had in my head is delivered in a much better fashion by you and I find myself nodding.

I do think there's another way of looking at this as well i.e. the calendar dates are still useful. It is yet another day to celebrate - especially in a time like this when all of us are too busy to make time for each other. So, using this calendar date meaningfully can be powerful. But as you say, the real meaningful markers and ones we should navigate around are life events.

I keep your site in my small list of "Nourish" bookmarks so thank you for the continued inspiration.

My year began when California officially opened up post-COVID on June 15th. My wife and I went maskless to our favorite restaurant last night. It felt like we were rediscovering the place. A silver lining.

PS We take the bus because it's currently still free here in LA. Free is cheaper than Lyft.

Hi,
Not only the article, but even the title is also very much informative and meaningful. I tried to write something about the morning routine. please check
webartrix.blogspot.com/2016/04/successful-people-morning-routine.html

nice information ,keep sharing

I’ve not read all these comments, so apols if someone else does this. For our first memorable years and into early 20’s for many, school years start in September (UK). Then if you have kids, that cycle starts all over again. So for maybe 30 years of your life that’s a new year, and that’s when new habits should be started. Life resets. Don’t use ‘New Calendar Year’, that’s the worst.

Wow, if you did not say such beautiful words. I truly believe that if a man loves me give me my flowers any day. Why should I have to wait for 2/14. I don't even follow those calendar this that or the other. My mother told me for me and my brothers give me my flowers while I am alive. I just love this article. Thank you very much Derek. I hope you and the family are well.

First Solo trip I took this year and my first job as a Developer

I tend to agree with this idea, but there is something to say about tradition for the sake of it: What comes to mind is something like shabbat dinner. I'm not religious, or even Jewish. But my partner is, and we'd like to raise a family where we recognize parts of the "sabbath". At the very least, it's an "excuse" to dedicate a specific day each week to come together for dinner. Sometimes we need arbitrary markers to keep us in check. P.S. Returning to your website after the Tim podcast. You've reawakened a longing to engage with personal websites, and building my own. Thanks Derek!

For Jim at #12 now I get from your further comment that you were mirroring Derek's question with your own question. May the force be with you, and also with me.

For #289 George Ludwig, using a future gig date to make your music practise more meaningful, YES.
I could do so more often for related things.
I have read that people use a high school reunion as a date to make losing weight more achievable.

In my case I do better at back exercises and walks before a travel holiday.

Very much agree - the day I stopped drinking was the day that my life truly changed.

Meaning full nd and being non calendar