What you learn by travelling
I wanted to learn about the world, so I went travelling.
People in the east are so graceful, I felt like an inconsiderate pig.
People up north are so serious, I felt like a lightweight clown.
People down south are so laid-back, I had to escape north again.
The way we define ourself is all relative to our surroundings, right? However we differ from the people in our home town is how we define ourself. That’s where we shape our self-identity, growing up. Those are our defining traits.
But when we go to a different place, the relative comparisons collapse. Traits like speed, ambition, independence, bravery, and humor — they’re all relative.
Back home I’m considered quiet. Here I’m considered loud.
Back home I’m a slacker. Here I’m a workaholic.
Back home I’m normal. Here I’m strange. Or vice-versa. So how do I define myself now?
I always want to know why a culture is this way. What’s the difference? What are the core beliefs? So I ask questions and observe.
On the surface and from a distance, I see their actions. But deeply and closely, I see my reactions.
I want to learn about the world, so I keep travelling.
About the world, I learn a bit. About myself, I learn a lot.
Thank you Derek,
True dat. Travelling does that to you.
Love the party planet image ☺
It's also interesting to recognize whether there are any invariants across cultures. What components of your personality were perceived - by you and others - as (relatively) the same across places you've visited?
In any case, I want to vacation in a place where I'm the smartest and best looking guy around. But, alas, I'm not hardy enough for a week on a glacier off the coast of Newfoundland!
Thanks, Derek. I could feel from here how much you love travelling as part of your wise study of life. This is like poetry. What a refreshing read..!
This is a thing I have felt but never heard so well expressed. And when we move into a new environment it can help us examine which traits we hold because we value them (and want to keep) and which were more a product of the old surroundings (that we wish to discard).
There’s so much to learn with traveling... that’s the obvious part. The important part is to make sure you stay in one place long enough to immerse. That’s when you start to notice what you referenced but also to notice that you are changing.
Travel enough and you’ve messed yourself up for society for a while. ;)
If you ever make it to the Phoenix area, it would be cool to talk again.
Amy
We can also travel in our own city or library.
For learning culture, for example, I once read an English translation of a French sociology textbook. Now I know why Paris police don't like answering questions from tourists, not like police in London England or London Canada.
(Turns out the French are more vulnerable to losing their democracy, so the police must serve the central government; meanwhile In a Canadian city the police can smile and say hello to passing strangers, as I have seen)
Different clubs and hobbies in town will have different cultures, depending on the purpose. In my local telephone book the Grand Poobah his his name and number in bold print. If Fred Flintstone and his quiet friend Barney Rubble join the loyal order of water buffalos, they will soon see if they are loud like the others.
Culture shock can be invigorating. At university I used to like going to two lounges on the same day, the physical education one and the drama student one. At the former, with their competition culture, students would yell insults across the room; at the latter, since a performing art requires focus, which requires safety, the room was insult-free and I would see folks being flamboyant.
(I was expected to not tell other students about the drama lounge)
As for me being relative: Outside university, in the city, my best friend, a member of the LGBTQ community, would affectionately tell others I was a Zelig, a chameleon.
(In the Woody Allen comedy movie, Zelig would suddenly grow a beard and spectacles to match his peers)
And when you're living somewhere else in the world, ignore the rest of the world for a moment. Drop everything you thought you knew about anyone, anything, or anyplace. Observation and listening will bring new perspective.
Sometimes I questioned my self-identity as a world citizen. Where shall I belong to? I’m a Chinese New Zealander living in UK. I went to a couple of NZ events but I was the only Asian face there and everybody seemed to have a question about Why Are You Here? I asked myself too why am I here? People still judge you from your colour and race every time I travel by myself solo. They can’t believe I can speak fluent English with an asian face. Interesting learnings through travelling the world. Interesting learnings to know more about myself.
Beautifully written.
Have you found any book you would recommend about this topic besides "When Cultures Collide"?
Geography">sive.rs/book/GeographyOfGenius">Geography of Genius, Geography">sive.rs/book/GeographyOfTime">Geography of Time, and Geography">sive.rs/book/GeographyOfBliss">Geography of Bliss. — Derek
I have time to listen to your podcast and am thoroughly enjoying it. This one focused my thoughts on why I love to travel. I have always said it was to get to know the other... the other country, culture, people.But now I understand .. it is to get to know me. Thanks! (I like many of the others, too)
When I returned from a couple of months travelling solo around Asia in the 90s, my father said to my then girlfriend, "It's ok, he hasn't changed" but since that time every so often she mentioned that "you've never been the same as before you went to Indonesia", so I guess it's relative to who you know. I didn't feel any different - but think I spent too much time alone with 'Existentialism from Dostoevsky to Sartre' in a beach hut, that was punishment enough.
I hear you! Problem for me is that I cannot stay in one place long enough there than where I keep a nice job and house. I can't afford to move to Scotland or Costa Rica although I'd like to try!
I can add to Dean's funny second comment. I was on crowded elevator in a community college, standing beside a lady who was "5 feet two inches" tall. After we all got off I turned to my friend and said gleefully, "I was the tallest person on that elevator!" That was decades ago, and I'm still chuckling, because it hasn't happened since!
As for Asian faces and #8 Camilia above, I am certain that when I was a pre-schooler Anzac was all white, so when a Chinese girl said my name with a nice NZ accent, I had to go ask Stan, a Pacific traveler and frequent visitor to my shared house. Stan said now the faces are like here in Vancouver, our adopted home-city back then.
A woman in Vancouver told me that she learned Chinese at home but as a preschooler picked up English talking to the other kids.
Travel changes us. I fall in love with most places I visit. The older I get, the more grateful I am to be alive, and to be human. I become more appreciative of other cultures. The world is like a delicious meal of many courses - don't rush it. Take your time. Savor each bite, and allow yourself to be surprised.