My old clothes don’t fit

Love it - I miss our convos but I hope you're enjoying Oxford!

We're getting pushed towards clothes for the dying.

I can totally relate...my old clothes don’t fit anymore either :)

Boy do I relate. Thank you.

Hello Derek,
I'm so pleased when I hear from you and your journey.
I've been through the nakedness for the most part of the last 12 month. It was just earlier this month that I begun finding what my new cloth are and they feel odd at times, and I may have to take them to the tailor for slight adjustments, but they're a much better fit than the previous ones.
Take care.
Love you.
A.

To move on we often need to let go.
To learn we often need to unlearn.
To be reborn we need to face death.
Like the phoenix rising from the ash.
Like the transformation of butterfly from a caterpillar.

Exciting and hard moment in life.
Thank you for sharing

You have successful inflicted you on me.
Try to NOT do that too often.
Your words, better than pictures, better than audio,
slapped me silly.
Why have we (I) not heard from you recently?
Now I will have to think about you and your words all day.
Unfair!
Don't stop.
sQs 85+

Great thought piece.
Just be sure to wear 'some' clothes.
We don't need any more emperors.

Very insightful! Makes me think of personal improvement and when I grow and become better it's so easy to revert back to my old self, and people might even look for that old self. Thanks!

Love this! Thanks for sharing.

Holy moly this hit home today Derek! Incredibly insightful. Thank you!

changing clothes takes time and funny enough I can never tell when I am used to the new cloths and they are worn in. I do know the point where I have to change them again and the long path to throwing them out starts and the new ones feel uncomfortable and strange for a while and pose so many insecurities. After a while I stop thinking about them without realising and the long path to throwing them out again has begun.
Naked at the moment, haven't started trying on new ones but pretty much done with throwing out all old ones.

The most amazing article about "letting go" and "unlearning" I've ever read so far. Hope you find the new clothes soon. :)

Maybe it's something like KonMari loves to hear.

I had a similar problem, I lost a lot of weight and put on a lot of muscle, I couldn't recognise myself. My clothes were too big and nothing fit and I didn't feel comfortable with my existing look, So I went minimalist, I bought about 30 Black V neck T-shirts (same brand and style) and 7 Pairs of Black Straight Jeans. I didn't have to worry about what I was going to wear, it was the same, it was comfortable and it was less stress.

Thanks for the timely read!

Martin

Love, love, love! Your essays always show up just when I need them. Thank you Derek! xo

Just be sure to avoid going for the Emperor’s New Clothes!
Look forward to seeing what fits.

That middle season when you’re figuring out what your new clothes should be... those are the messiest and toughest. But when we work through them, no matter how long it takes, we’re always rewarded with something that’s perfect for us and the season we’re in.

Thanks for sharing

Clothes, both metaphorical and real are the armour we wear to travel through life.

We could wear a Christmas jumper to be playful, a suit to project power and authority or a fancy shirt for a dinner date. In this context what we wear is for us as much as others - when I wear a suit my mindset is all business, I know when I wear a suit it helps to put me in a particular frame of mind.

The same applies for the metaphorical clothes - when one prepares for a presentation, a funeral or family day out we mentally prepare ourselves in different ways.

The truth is that we all wear different 'clothes' depending on context. If you didn't life would be particularly difficult - who'd turn up to a childrens birthday party and the funeral of a loved one in the same way, mentally or physically? As with context, timing also changes what we wear. The 10yr old soccer fan becomes the teenage rock-fan becomes the uber-cool twenty-something and so on. Who we are is fluid and dynamic, if it wasn't the world would be a pretty weird place.

I should know by now that anything you share is going to have way more underneath than what's in the not-so-pithy title.

Thanks for sharing

That was great Derek. Thank you. Like a fable of old, you put that together quite succinctly.
I wish you all the best on your search for well fitting apparel.

This is so timely for me... definitely in a time of discarding my old clothes.. it's having the courage to walk around naked, and not rush forward for the new ones or hark back to grab the old ones again, that is my current lesson... The courage to just be in the time of transition.

Thanks for this, Derek

nice parable. I think this is the best format for sharing wisdom.

Nice analogy. Initially thought that moving with only 1 suitcase - what clothes? No way you brought them with you.

So which didn’t fit? Guitar, studio engineer, singing, web programer, Ted Talker, wanderer? Which are you trying on? Seems like the right tailor may appear if you throw out a little info to the universe

I’m surprised old friends don’t notice. Seems like that’s where the gradient would be the highest.

FYI - Got here by respondeding to your email. Do you send them in masse or spread out over a couple days?

Besides your new clothes, it sounds like you've been writing with a new pen recently, doesn't it? 😀

On a simliar theme; I have worked hard at my own songwriting,poetic in style,but I suffer from a lack of confidence. I have been asked to play a Suumer Festival,(not based on my own material, but simply because somebody likes me and knows that I "play a big of guitar and sing".I am working on "popular" cover versions; House of the The Rising Sun, All I Have to Do is Dream etc. Crowd pleasers,for an outdoor, crowd of strnagers who are more interested in havng a ood day with beer, with some ambient "noise" going on. My deep, meaningful, sometimes morose, introspective poetic little numbers will be lost on the wind. And, I feel, inappropriate. So am trying to wear "different clothes" in order to "be liked", having less faith in my own unique outfit. And if I am applauded, part of me will be happy that I chose such flamboyant attire... Yet part of me will be unhappy, due to an inner sense of cowardice. I also run the risk of perpetuating the need to wear other people's clothes, as it could be that I get further gigs based on my "populist" outfit. Is it better to die on my own sword..or at least...in my own skin, and clad in my own outfit?? Is it better to have one person in that audience HEAR me, and to love me for my OWN attire...rather than have 500 people applaud what is effectively an outfit designed by somebody else?

Running nude wild & free on a deserted beach is the ultimate soul searching/finding for me. The wind is your guide. I can do that for hours and days on end... It is then and only then, while absorbed in nature that I finally lose perception of little me and big it. The lines between the 2 become blurred, all merges. There is no old or new... there is no past or future...
Lupa xx
ps: typing this while wearing an ancient old pair of dungarees I've had since my teens :P ;-)

Hi Derek, thanks so much for this article. We sold our business last year and bought a property with a small horse yard, where I've been working outdoors and having a whole new set of experiences. This is a massive change for someone who worked as a cyber and IT security consultant for almost 30 years. I am often approached by people who would like me to "wear my old clothes" and speak at conferences, give advice etc. I've been feeling uneasy about this for a while and now I know why. I think I need to find some new clothes that will fit my new life, and also allow me to revisit the old one from time to time without feeling uncomfortable.
bets wishes
Pete

Hi Derek. Thank you for sharing this. If all most people want to know, is how you can help, then what can I / we do that would offer the biggest help to you now (acknowledging that what one needs most help with, changes over time)?. Joel

I loved this because I got it.

I'm, always in some kind of transition. I love and long for the new and better and happier for me.

Eventually I find myself putting on the old as if by default finding comfort in wearing the same old..

Then reminding myself that my breath brings in the new as I intend it to be, more and more.

Doing my best to wear what feels good now, in a place and space within.

Our never ending story... Life

Lovingly
Ermina

I like this post. it's nice. Did you ever feel guilty or made to feel guilty for not wanting to put on clothes that fit in anymore? Even when people wanted your help badly?

thanks
Yeah. For the last few years, many people have asked me to be on podcasts or on stage to talk about my CD Baby story — business advice for entrepreneurs — then are upset when I say no. Some have offered a lot of money or plead persuasively. It's kind of a drag. — Derek

Thanks for sharing. Change is inevitable for all of us. Some fight it. Some embrace it. Some want to hide it. Some want to share it. But eventually old clothes do wear out and we need to put our new clothes on.

Thanks again,
David

At the risk of piling a metaphor on top of a metaphor, sometimes when I read one of your essays, it feels a bit like an out-of-body experience. It forces me to stop what I am doing and examine my life from a different vantage point - and that's a good thing! Thank you for that gift!

My old clothes don’t fit anymore either! I’m moving
from caretaker and helper to empowering others to
figure things out for themselves.

I’ve been wanting and needing to change my clothes for a while but I keep thinking that my old clothes will repair themselves. Many years ago I ran a business call ‘the municipal patchworks’ offering to put patches on other people’s clothes. You’ve helped me recognize that I was still waiting for the patches to be applied.
Time to get some new clothes...or maybe used stuff that suits me.
Thanks.

Love the metaphor. Can be applied to tons of things, and i believe it's mostly because in search of simplicity, people tend to (or are thought to?) put other people in boxes ... And it's so damn hard to get them out of these boxes once they're there !

He’s back....and just in time!
Thank you 🙏 for this.

Derek, some thoughts..

First, I felt a little sad reading you believe, if I may paraphrase, that what most people want to understand is how best they can use you. What a gut punch. Alas, we live in a transactional time and that's what we're told it takes to be a conventional success.. even to the detriment of our true selves.

Second, is a new model for showing up in the world even possible? Not just new clothes, but beyond clothes as it were. Could you make yourself a mirrored robe, reflecting what people show themselves to be? Powerful! Maybe a little dangerous... and where would You be in all this?

Ah, questions for another time perhaps. I'm excited for the grand unveiling of these new duds, in whatever form they take.. keep us posted.

Thought provoking as always Derek. I had a related conversation with my niece who is setting up as a mobile hairdresser - she either had to dress as a stylist (e.g. a tunic) or as someone her clients aspired to be, e.g. confident, fashionable etc.

People are guided by how you present yourself, rather than who you are, and your article reminded me that *I* should also be following the advice I gave to my niece just a few weeks ago.

Good to hear you're in the UK!

Change is good. It's transition that sucks.

Appreciate your insight and vulnerability. ☺

Thought provoking & interesting. The mere fact that you are sharing your personal perspective in your writing shows you've already found new clothes. Keep being the extreme version of yourself! Success!👍😊

There is always an outfit to wear...

Nice post Derek. Reminds me of the story about emptying your cup of water to allow new water to be filled. Courage to change, being ok with being uncomfortable. The BBC 1970’s Mr Benn comes to mind. M

We’re so fortunate to be able to help others and share gifts, but people tend to think they know you and expect that “thing” from you. Nice perspective on needing to allow ourselves to change up the wardrobe Derek! Even if we......and others might not want us to.

Nudist unite.......just kidding...

Nicely said.

And indeed, throughout our lifetime we will undoubtedly change our clothing quite a few times. Refreshing I suppose!

Good to hear from you buddy!

Perfect been in this transition for a year. Finally did get some new gear and I am testing it out.

A beautiful, thought provoking/forcing piece.

Compare Ricardo Semler, (read Maverick) total detachment from achievements, doesn’t even tell his kids what he has achieved (a lot!)

Tantalising literal/metaphorical frisson.
Both are relevant.
As the Koran (and other texts) has 7 levels of interpretation , yet this is “secular”.

Very clever! I like it Derek.

Awesome read....

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." - Mark Twain

My old clothes is also very comfortable and easy to put on. However, these are not the clothes that I like to wear, is restricted in many way, I can't move in them easily.

The clothes that I dream of are the clothes that give me freedom, I feel confident and full of courage and of course happy in it.

How I look in my new clothes is less of a concern to me now.

Recently I realized, I increasingly unhappy with my old clothes, I not sure what wrong with in, it was comfortable but I am not happy, I do not wish to wear these clothes forever.

Finally, I got it, it was so clear. I tried on the new clothes that I dream of before, the one that make me feel real good and give me freedom. During my time with this new clothes, I had very bad experience, it make me feel like I am not worthy of the new clothes.

Today I made the decision to wear new clothes from now on. I been trying them at home each day. It will come a day that this new clothes will be the clothes I wear everyday.

For now, I am too... naked and on a bad day wearing the old clothes...end of today I was shamefully wearing the old clothes. I have to somehow get rid of it and burn it. I hate these damn old clothes.

Kai
Hamilton
New Zealand

Thank you! Hit the nail on the head again.

Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom xx

I have packed clothes to leave. They have been in my cellar for three years. I wear the minimal clothes that I left unpacked. I am so unhappy in them I am so afraid to call a firm to sail my packed clothes back to the States because I don´t have a home. Here I am warm and dry, but it is not my home and my clothes don´t fit literally because my sadness took my weight away. If I one day got the courage to send my packed clothes back and then followed them wherever I sent them, would I find happiness? Would my clothes fit.
Miriam 2010-07-31

Very thoughtful perspective on change and the difficulty in implementing. I am in a similar situation. Old clothes do not fit. I don’t want them to fit, I don’t want to squeeze into them. In fact when I slip and put them back on there is a sense of disgust. I’m just not that person.

Thanks for the article.
K

Metaphorically (and precisely)wonderful

Is it that your old clothes don't fit you or is it that you don't fit your clothed. Did you old clothes shrink or did you expand. LOL Maybe your old clothes is trying to tell you something for your own good. Lose weight. My clothes keeps reminding me that I need to shrink my waistline, as much as I try it does not seem to work, eating less and exercising is too demanding, so I may have to take the easy way out and buy larger clothes.

thank you for sharing .

Mid transitional/ fruit of the loom

Changing clothes doesn't have to be so abrupt when you realize old clothes no longer fit. When I realized that there was always something or someone to tell me when and where I had to be, there went my wrist watch along with need to own a fancy one. When I began to look in the mirror and see my dad, I knew instantly that all forms of fashion were wasted on me. Comfort and function are the mode of life now. Next to go? Maybe trade in my stethescope for a violin bow. Who knows?

I like my old clothes. Probably because I'm old. They are comfortable and they do fit okay. Change doesn't come easily these days and I guess I've made all the changes I'm going to make, though I do experiment with new sounds now and then. Sometimes the old clothes get old, but you still feel good, so why change? I wish you well with all you changes. Bright blessings

Just started a new job in a foreign country and this was exactly what I needed to read at this exact moment. Deeply and sincerely, thank you

Huh! I wonder where you're headed! I hope we'll get to hang around.

You free others in allowing yourself the same latitude. Good on you sir!

Saw some comments about CD Baby speaking requests. Why do you think people still want to hear about the CD Baby success / story from you? They want to see you "play your hits" or they want to expose it to new people? Or...?

HIIIIIIIIII ! yeah ... I like being naked too ( my mom doesn't understand why I don't get dressed up ?" a look sexier and "nicer" to fit into society more..., The thing is... I have become a new person... That old person of TRYING to PROVE is Gone.... I have nothing to prove, nothing to sell.... just me ... in my yogi pants and just casual.. I don't even wear make up ( hardly anymore..)

Do I still sing?.. sure, occassionally ( sure so I get on "stage" I'll wear the Part ;-)

Its a feeling , really. I would rather live on a Beach than the city. I'm just happy . so Be it.

I hope you embrace your BEING-NESS , Naked and ALL .- Its Alll Good !
If you want to chat , hit me up !

xoxo media@lealongo.com

In retirement and transitions, removal of old “clothes” frees us to envision who we really are and permits the gathering of new “clothes” that fit us better. However all too often we measure our “clothes” by those we envy or respect...comparisons, perceptions, unwritten rules/beliefs, and expectations keep us wrapped in our old “clothes “ far too long when we neglect to pause the busyness and contemplate who we really are. Here’s to clearing our “clothes” closets and embracing those moments of “nakedness”!

Thank you for your writings.

How true! Thanks for sharing.

Wow this hit home this morning, at first like a slap in the face, but upon reflection more of a gentle push, because being kind to myself when it comes to change is important. Yes! I need new clothes and didn’t know it, thank you for the awakening Derek. God Bless, Nancy

timing.
thank you Derek

I can replace the word “clothes” with many things. Even the word “things”. I’ve tried “dreams”, “hopes”, “excuses”... They all fit well. Thank you for having the ability to communicate how you do. I value you for who you are.

Some clothes feel pretentious. But not being concerned about my attire also sends a potential message. How do I wish to be, and how do I wish to be seen are both important.
Great topic thanks Derek!

Many people think I am still wearing my clothes from 20 years ago despite the fact I changed my clothes completely. Sometimes I don’t bother to correct them anymore!

Well I hope you’re comfortable in your ‘own’ skin firstly. All other layers on top of that are ‘material’. It is a human condition to judge and judge by appearance. I think sadly most people’s perception is their reality and if your appearance makes you ‘look’ the part they can process that. We’ve just moved from Perth Western Australiato Aberdeen Scotland for a few years and I can tell you clothes are made to suit the weather.

As my youngest enters her sophomore year of college, I'm finding that my old clothes don't fit either. I've been a mother for over 28 years and this transition is leaving me feeling naked and uncomfortable. Thank you for sharing

clothing eclipse

Awesome!!!!! I have to shed my old clothes - just let them go. It's time that I put on some new clothes.

Brilhante... and u r right and not alone... I’m naked too...

As always, amazing.

I must say that was profound.

But if your old clothes doesn't fit hence you gave them away after archive (ing) them, you have new clothes however you're Naked.

Perhaps you transitioned to quickly, or perhaps you still long for your old clothes; after all the old clothes are what you're familiar with. Maybe you should have kept ONE old outfit so you could get back in them whenever you wanted r needed to.

In the end it's what's important is which group of close do you truly want to be in? The old, the new, or a combination of both.

Sometimes it pays to wear both.


Great story I enjoyed it

Rev Tina Redden

Hmmmmm. Interesting. I don't know. You've changed clothes many times in the almost 20 years since you came into my life. It seems that changjng clothes is almost a way of life for you. Whatever your new clothes look like, I know they will fit beautifully and you will look amazing in them.

So glad to hear from you, and so relatable. I'm only 31 and I've spent a lot of my life wearing the same clothes because I felt like they fit my personality better and told people who I was.

These days, I see the clothes as an expression of a not-quite-realized self-image. I wore t-shirts and jeans for over a decade because it was one of the few ways I felt comfortable and one of the ways I could still signal to others that I was "casual and approachable".

Reading this post, I'm recognizing that it's not about the clothes. It's about the person underneath them. I can wear anything and everything from polo shirts up to a suit-and-tie and still be my authentic self in every respect.

Do new clothes itch? Sure. Gotta throw them through the wash a few times and get some wear and wrinkles in the right spots, but that takes time.

Just like the process of figuring out HOW to wear them, WHEN to wear them, and who I am underneath it all.

Send a shout out if you come to visit Boston, MA sometime. Keep it up.

The question is, why are you reinventing yourself? Is it for God, family or something else or maybe you've gotten bored?

Amazing description of our journey through life..
Thanks for writing it down Derek!

Thank you Derek 🙏

Right on! I am looking forward to the new outfit.

Sounds as if you should hang them up and do something different, or this goes round anb round forever....

When it comes to old clothes I say “Burn the boats.”

Dear Derek: YOU say you were "uncomfortable, unhappy, and restless.You state "My clothes don’t fit anymore!" Neither new nor old clothes will do for you or anyone. Try on some MENTAL Clothes: psychotherapy, tai chi, mindfulness, yoga etc. No need to travel and or live around the world, live and love in the world of YOU !

best.

Joe

Your first sentence is the key.
If one is comfortable, happy, and content there is no need to change clothes. To be in that state however requires challenges, learning, and growth....and during those experiences , one may need to go shopping.

Derek,

This made me smile and then I started to laugh. I'm reinventing myself right now so I understand your dilemma. I'm experiencing what you're are going through. It reminds me of the TI song the Old Me is Dead and Gone.

Thanks Derek. This was a brilliant and encouraging read. Funny how people want us to wear clothes... to be placed in a neat and tidy box--and when there is no answer that satisfies their taxonomy of human beings . . . the person is written off as you said, as "Probably can't use them for anything".

Thanks,
Lucas

Just what I needed to hear today. Your post made me contemplate my own need to shed the layers and find what is really underneath it all. Getting rid of the old clothes will allow me to be open minded to realize my personal goals and rediscover my identity. Which path is mine? Thank you Derek!

he's been eyeing up some tweed and some brogues.

What a fantstic article. At this particular period in my life I empathise with it.

I hope your new clothes are successful and make you happy.

Very fitting to me right now, metaphorically and literally. My baby daughter gets all the new clothes. That being said, my up and coming project demands a certain quality of attention from the masses. A suitable outfit is required for the task. Derek Sivers for the fresh inspiration, I thankyou.

Thank, Derek, for one more insightful post.

Have you ever considered writing short stories where you weave such themes into the plot? I feel that when people are immersed in a story, they are more open to receiving such messages.

What do you think?

Hey Derek - lovely analogy. Reminds me of when Dylan went from acoustic to electric. Public wouldn't accept him. New clothes are always good - takes us forward even if it is uncomfortable at first.Thanks for sharing...!

This is a good metaphor. I do want to mention one thing about my reading experience. Up until the part about being naked, the story is very literal. It's enjoyable as I wait for it to shift to how it's a metaphor.

When it gets to the part about being naked, it falls apart just a little because you *aren't* really allowed to go out like that. This part is clearly only metaphor and no longer literal. I had to re-read because I got a little confused in the transition.

I don't know if there's a way to make the transition clear without hitting the reader over the head with it but, as a lover of good metaphors, I would love to see that shift. Because while it makes total sense to leave yourself metaphorically naked, trying to imagining this literally happening is difficult 😁

Thank you for being open to suggestions! This is quite relevant for me right now...

I enjoyed your article on clothing over coffee this morning. This topic has disturbed me for years, as a woman the pressure for adequate style is ever present. I was reminded of
Henry David Thoreau’s writing on the matter. Thoreau thought that before we seek ‘finer clothing’ we should first make sure that our pursuits are ‘finer’, or else we are just relying on the ‘false skin’ of clothing to obtain a false respect. Thoreau wondered how far people would retain their relative rank if they were divested of their clothes. Should this happen, he implied, we would simply have to confer social status on the basis of worthiness, or the like, rather than on the basis of fine dress, which all too often merely represents an accidental and arbitrary possession of wealth. 
Changing clothes is easy, changing the self requires discipline.

In the continuum, there are people right now striving to get to where you were.

Endless.

Love it. And love this new style of writing you're exploring. Cant wait to see more!

For some reason this popped into my head!!
Mark 2:22
And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins."

Derek, thank you for this post.
This is a triple surprise for me.

First of all, you're one of the VERY few people whose autoresponder is allowed into my primary inbox. I must really have trusted you when I signed up for something.

Secondly, this article was refreshingly quick to read. I almost didn't click because of time constraints but I'm actually glad I did. Everyone seems obsessed with incredibly long detailed posts. This shows that short can be just as good. Interestingly, you're clearly doing something right in terms of traffic (to judge by the number of comments) and engagement (ditto)

Thirdly - and most surprisingly- I found it profound and thought-provoking, rather than trite.

In my experience as a reader, there's a fine line to tread in such general and metaphorical pieces between succinct, profound and -frankly - nauseating.

You've managed a beautiful job.

99% of what I see around Facebook (especially) and online generally fails miserably and falls into the pretentious/trite/bleeding obvious (as we say in London).

It's a neat metaphor. Most metaphors used by internet writers in general (never mind in marketing) are not mere clichés, they are practically clubbed to death.

I hope I never have to read about people "stepping up to the plate" or "getting to the next level" (the saddest thing is that I reach for such easy metaphors myself when banging out sales copy. My VERY bad).

It reminds me of one of George Orwell's six rules of writing. They are in themselves a beautiful example of crisp, succinct, precise writing by the way. I imagine someone of your calibre of writer and thinker knows them well.

I'm going to quote the great man himself here in full, because for anyone who writes anything with focus and intent, and hasn't come across them, they could be a revelation: (for "he" of course substitute "they" or "he/she")

"A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus:

What am I trying to say?
What words will express it?
What image or idiom will make it clearer?
Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?

And he will probably ask himself two more:

Could I put it more shortly?
Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

One can often be in doubt about the effect of a word or a phrase, and one needs rules that one can rely on when instinct fails. I think the following rules will cover most cases:

Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
Never use a long word where a short one will do.
If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
Never use the passive where you can use the active.
Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous."

From Orwell's essay "Politics and the English Language.

To pick up on the language might seem prissy or besides the point.

I don't believe it is.

I believe clear language not only shows clear thought, it helps create it. This is obvious to most writers and people who truly craft language; but it is shockingly absent in most online discourse.

Talking of clothes, there is a monstrous amount of "Emperor's New Clothes" online in general, in marketing in particular, and in business advice above all.

Sadly my current work falls into all three categories. Thus I probably am actually naked but am working hard to pretend to myself - and others - that I'm wearing a business power suit!

I hadn't articulated that as clearly before - which shows the power of your metaphor and the careful articulation of your concept.

As a final extension of your judiciously-chosen metaphor:

I believe that by understanding the nature of the fabric I have available - of words; of stories; of hidden loops of attention and underlying narratives; of character; of meta-narratives and of archetypes - and honouring the craft of weaving those together, I can weave together a new set of clothing for myself. It may be light and semi-transparent - but it is not actually nakedness.

I don't quite understand what I've just said. But let me put it this way:

If you're going to be naked, you had better be VERY good at spinning or weaving such a great set of clothes out of stories and words that you can cause crowds of people to suspend disbelief.

Beauty and structure have a surprising persuasive power, in my experience. The structure of language still has great power. And perhaps the quasi - impossibility of creating clothes from nothing that can cause others to believe they are present has a mad beauty of its own.

Thank you so much for your extraordinary post and provoking these thoughts.

Michael

Thank, Derek.

Here's a poem that adds to what you wrote:

The Naked and the Nude
--Robert Graves

www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-naked-and-the-nude/

By the way, I rarely go anywhere without a tie.

But honestly, I think my days of trying to impress anyone with my clothes are long gone. I just focus on being the person that will make proud and be pleasing to my Bride and of course to the Lord Jesus.

Read Proverbs 22:1 and you will understand.

I have always appreciated your uniqueness and how you view the world but will have no problem accepting whomever else you choose to become. I have been going through an identity change myself as well recently and have been working through developing the courage to complete the metamorphosis. I feel from the responses of the previous responders that we are just grateful to share your journey, but also you are not alone as a human being in needing to go through this process. Also take heart that if we are to interpret that this post is metaphorical that we all will be with you and rooting for you once you reach the other side just as we did for the Derek of the past.

Thanks for sharing. Do you feel like nakedness is ultimately the most satisfying state for you?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Emperor%27s_New_Clothes

Great commentary!

Hey Derek, great piece. How often should we change our clothes?

Love Avrilx

Dear Derek,

Right on. Stay in touch, mate.

Best Regards,

-M

Thanks Derek, thought provoking as ever.
Like great art, great metaphors provoke our
own interpretation.

Timing, I just hit send on a resignation letter and your email arrived with the link to this post a second later. Thank you.

Derek
Thank you for this. Two of the last three of your messages have been incredibly timely for me.

Nice allegory for so much in our lives. Is Oxford all you imagined ?
Must be amazing.
Oddly, My old clothes don't fit anymore either !

Brilliant, easy way of getting some wisdom across, your cool with or without clothes 😉thanks for sharing your art (heart)

Hi Derek,

Thank you for the article. My 2019 has been me preparing to change my “clothes.” This is an awesome read.

Best,

Edward

Sometimes our friends & colleagues don't understand that we let things go because we're evolving. They don't want to be left behind but the comfort is easier than the unknown. So when we move forward they want us to be who we were instead.
Living your truth takes struggle and courage but the result is a beautiful resonance of self.

Always enjoy what you share and your writing style

Thanks Derek! New clothes excite me now! Just like getting a new hairstyle, they signal an evolution in my personality. It is something I look forward to. I welcome the growth! Onwards we go!

nice, write a book. I remember someone wrote a book about moving ones cheese and it was a big hit:)

I was just listening to Marcus Miller talk about why Miles Davis wouldn't play his old music anymore. Miles comment to Marcus was "Those clothes don't fit me anymore." So profound!!

LOVE this so much, thank you Derek, thank you as years ago as today.

Much love
Olga

Hello Derek

this is a slightly unfair point of feedback however here we go. Your post before this included a really lyrical idea of slowing your inner clock to speak to your neighbours. I live with an elderly disabled relative and I've become obsessed by this idea and it has helped me reset my own relationship with impatience and anxiety.
by comparison a metaphor of clothes didn't strike the same note. I love the description of restlessness that opens this. One of the things I've always enjoyed about your writing is your comfortable relationship with ambivalence, and it is here in this post. The follow on with the clothes less so - though I did enjoy the idea that the "successful" share what they wear so that should work for us. So much correlation in the self help world posing as causation. I liked that idea a lot.
So, interesting, but not as stunning as your first post.
I told you it was unfair. You set a high bar
much love and hope my meanderings are useful to you
Rhaya

Love it! Thanks for sharing, Derek!

Love this Derek. I have had a habit of trying on other people’s clothes, trying to embody it, only to find out it’s best to wear my own!

Do you go out and seek a tailor at all?

Thank you for being more than a clothes rack! We had more than enough of those already, I think. Looking forward to hearing more of your ever-evolving and emergent style :)

Thanks!!!!
If this story is any indication of your new clothes, you are on a beautiful journey.
Similar insights are found in, "The Parable of The Hand and The Glove, A Spiritual Awakening".

Was happy to read, as it relates to my experience. I too went through it and now I'm emerging out of the naked phase. What I found out was I don't have to have an outfit that reflects me. When I teach, it is teacher's clothes. When I am a housewife it is housewife's clothes. When my inner child goes out on a journey in nature, it is a child's clothing.
It's like this. I'm water. When I'm cascading I'm called waterfall. When I flow, I'm called river. When I go to the sky in warm climates I'm vapor. Then I come down to the waiting earth, and they call me rain. I realize I don't have to have a set of clothes well fitting. I just be me. And do what life demands from me.
Thanks Derek.
For providing me food for thought.

Loved this Derek!

samesies.

Ah, yes. I get it. I'm in it now too. My old way would have been to actively work at figuring out my new clothes. But that's the old clothes way. Now I am sitting "in-between" naked, quietly enjoying the space in my closet; and will see...

Always loving your share and the inspiration it brings. <3

Morning metaphor

I have many clothes so that I can wake up everyday and put on whatever combination or color makes me feel right. The fun of life for me is in these small details that 'suit' me best.

And yes what you wrote is about so many things besides clothes. I appreciate your unique point of view that shakes normal and awakes authenticity.

I aspire and am inspired by your freedom of spirit and thought. Thanks Derek for continuing to contact the people that resonate with your voice.

Maybe it's not so much about fit as it is about no longer needing to be covered.

A book, losing its jacket, now displays what has always been there.

And feels free.

No longer needing to match the shelf display.

It took a lot, but I shed a family overcoat yesterday. I put it on after some particularly nasty weather and left it on for 14 years. Now that it’s off, I realize it was never really my size.

I’m glad you’re hunting for that custom outfit, it’s going to look great when you put it all together!

Hey Derek,

Don't know if you're speaking "metaphorically" or literally? Either way, as you so rather colorfully illustrate, clothes change, times change, situation change, everything changes. I've the same prob as yourself. Except I don't mind! Of course, you're younger and are still on your "upward spiral" in life. Anyway, I'm also a nudist at heart and prefer as few clothes as possible, as often as possible! So I guess my opinion would be to stay nude until you figure out what you wanna wear? Not a biggie!

Cheers!
Al

Wow... Loved the way you shared this. Going through something similar and this post makes me see a few things that were hidden and making the transition uncomfortable but I think I will soon own my new ways.

Thank you for sharing.

AK

Thank you! I needed this today. I will now go clean out my closet and drawers. Consistency is one thing, but stagnation is another.

I really like your comment on what most people are really interested in: how you can help them. You state this matter-of-factly, no bittesness, just as it is... and I find this very wise and helpful ☺

An awesome article as I plan a fasting, nature-based (drug-free) vision quest. My clothes not fitting is exactly how I feel.

Great introspection. Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself,
don't swim in the same slough ☺

Those who choose to avoid mediocrity are dammed and blessed to keep reinventing themselves.

Reminds me of the following text by Konstantin Wecker:

And yet something causes cherries to bloom in April, and drops you again, when you float, must grow, become, does not hold still, and just tells you, that you are alive. The wise draw the hat and say thank you, some poets reach for the arsenic, only a few strong ones one sees to waver, and go on, naked and happy.

Love the metaphor, but what do you do if you don't want (seems to come down to that) the new clothes badly enough to give up the things you get when wearing the old clothes? Wearing the old clothes, which have been uncomfortable for many years, means the kids are going to IB language-immersion school and getting a great education, and we get to live in a great neighborhood and walk as much or more than we drive, and not worry about how to pay next month's bills. There isn't really "spare time" to start working on the new clothes, because the old clothes come with a lot of demands. Switching to the new clothes would mean giving up a lot, so I have spent twenty years wearing the old clothes, and thinking maybe I just have to keep doing it, because I don't see how to wear the new clothes without giving up so much.

Derek, Again you have an uncanny way of saying things that are on my mind in a unique way. I’m still a musician, no longer wearing the sparkly ball gowns for cruise ships and finding my new skin as an artist back in my hometown. Developing new sounds and singing in places and ways I’ve never thought possible. Underneath the changes though, I’m still naked, vulnerable me. Keep writing and sharing your stories as they are uplifting to more people than you know. 😀🎶❤️

So true.

I had my clothes stolen from me due to medical issues that destroyed my wardrobe. Have been wearing old clothes on and off for years. They clearly don’t fit. I had to find clothes that have never been made before. Shopping for new clothes with no sales assistant or friend to really help because well, they haven’t worn clothes like these either.

Derek as usual has nailed it with a great metaphor.

Great read to start my day.

Thank you!

Thanks for sharing this, Derek. It's so timely for me and much appreciated.

I wonder...what's the invitation of new clothes? What's the invitation of nakedness?

Sure, new people might be confused, but that's probably good for them. :)

I wrote this piece a while back exploring our various "Me Suits" on an existential level: www.theawakenedbusiness.com/the-me-suit/

Write on, brother. With or without clothes.

This is so relevent to my life right now, both figuratively and literally. The idea that a certain person could be identified simply by their clothing is a very disconcerting one for me. This story makes me painfully aware of the deep chasm between my clothing on the one side and what I feel is actually 'me', my true identity, lurking beneath that clothing.

I find that clown shoes are the rage---as Ahnold said, 'I know now why you cry.'

Crying on the inside,

Joseph

😆😆I love it! It makes me laugh and think 🤔! Great insight. Thanks for the share.

Great piece Derek. My pallid closet is screaming at me,"Look alive ...pal!"

Best

Great blog! Well said, it's funny how so many of your writings reflect the topics that Jesus Christ addressed. I can only pray Derik that one day you will seek Him first as the most important aspect of your life. After all it is your eternal sout that is of upmost importance and only Christ can fix that♥️.
Thanks for the email!
Diane

You’ve just woken up Derek.

Like Rumi said, “if you’re not naked, go back to sleep.”

Why sleep again when we can be awake?

Love it! Thanks for sharing.

My skin does not fit anymore...

Thanks so much for this. I hope there’s a follow up piece on what your new clothes look like. I appreciate this. It can be difficult to give in to growth and change and the people around us often respond poorly when we try. Validating to see that you have the same struggles.

Derek, You are a quitter. The wildest thing you need to wear out on the street is your mind and you are leaving it home. Your metaphor is a useful tool for drilling down and coming out the other end but you stop
at that place where you should be beginning.

Am I the only one disappointed not to see Derek's nudist selfie here?
My old clothes didn't fit me either, but I chose to ignore it for many years. A few months ago, I realized that new clothes would make me feel amazing and I started to feel alive again. By getting rid of some of my old clothes, it gave me the chance to look for precisely the clothes that compliment me today. The clothes that I need and love. Clothes I feel comfortable, functional, sexy in, but not exactly practical. All metaphorically speaking.

Clothes. Clothing. Close Thing. ... But they come in handy in cold weather. And prevent peckers and other things from sunburn.....

This was the perfect read for me today. Thanks, Derek. Yer brave!

Super helpful. Especially for anyone struggling to find their footing as they embark on a new chapter of a personal journey. Thanks for sharing. This hits home for me today.

I like your fresh insights on the old saying, "Clothes make the man." And it brings to mind the story, "The Emperor's New Clothes". I enjoy "curating" my wardrobe by occasionally getting new/new-to-me garments. When I do, I clear out things that don't give me pleasure anymore, so I maintain an easily manageable closet. But clearing out everything in one fell swoop? There's a revolutionary notion! You got me thinking about actually doing that!! And of course, when I do get rid of stuff I thank it for its service, a la Kondo. :D

I wear clothes that are comfortable: however when I do gigs I do squeeze into a nice pair of black jeans that I should replace with a bigger size. And I did replace my shirts to fit better and look better than my torn comfortable tees. Also I’m playing mostly for seniors now they don’t like hippies and they told me so when I first started playing for them and wearing my old stage close

Hope all is well in the new hood.
Thanks for keeping in touch :)

Hi Derek,

Your past is not your burden, that is how your old friends related to you for many years. But the old cloth is not fit for all of your new occasions, and you simply need new suit to try on. Whether with the new clothes or the old ones, I know that you are Derek. That's important! Cheers!

Gong Qian

Reminds me of the Garden Party that Ricky Nelson went to.

Must feel like you are that weirdo dancing in the park.

When I see you, I remember how great it feels when I get the courage to dance with you, regardless of the clothes.

Love it Derek!

couldn't have come at a better time.
thanks for this

Derek, the classic analogy. Our inner opinion/vision our ourself is often reflected in what we drape over ourselves. This can be clothes, a car, where or how we live, our entertainment choices, how we treat and care for our body, etc. Adopting trends can be upsetting and uplifting but ultimately may not fit well because we have not really changed.

When I’m acting, I play a character but of course that character is not me. Sure, this confuses people.

Like you wrote, when the Emperor’s New Clothes were no clothes, all his subjects were confused.

I'm definitely in this phase (again) right now as well – stripping off my current set of clothes, and trying to enjoy the nakedness while considering what new clothes I might want to put on next.

Me, too!
I will print this out and frame it on my wall. Such a helpful motivating reminder.
You are a real "darling."

LOVE YOU, DEREK!!

Hey...., I'm not sure if you're really talking about clothes.


Thanks Derek

Derek,
Man oh man you know how to write. I'm having the same problem. When I try on new jeans I feel very uncomfortable. Like everyone is looking and not approving. So I always revert to putting on my old jeans to make myself and everyone around me comfortable. I'm not sure when Ill be ready for that awkward naked phase, but its nice to hear I'm not alone in this quest. Its like the line from the movie Shooter. Just when you think you have it all figured out, you're wrong! Thanks for yet another brilliant insight Derek. Good luck with shopping for your new clothes.

Love the perspective! It's refreshing to acknowledge the constant pressure we exert on ourselves and others to simplify identity.

When I lived in Corvallis I’d leave my university job and drive my truck north beside the Willamette. I'd find a pullout, take off my clothes and swim across. I'd read Kesey's books, but also common sense told me not to fight the current, so I'd end up on the other side quite a way downstream. I'd have to walk back to where I was parallel to my truck, and then add on extra "mileage," so as to get back near my truck as possible, in case somebody drove by who would be offended.
Summertime there was a pond about an hour's drive into the Coastal Range, where everybody was bare-assed and the occasional logger came down to drink beer, smoke pot with the hippies, and ogle the girls.
The YMCA pool was "no-suit" when I was a kid, and Esalen in Big Sur had the same rule, but that was blistering hot springs, and the cold water on skin is a tingling thrill. Plus, after you get over the oddity and horniness, you felt so natural and animal.
Oregon was the best, though, that little pond. A big log floated in the middle, and guys and girls would compete to throw each other off. The champ was a stocky Cocker Spaniel. He dunked me so many times I got pissed and threw him off. Everybody booed me.

Thanks!

I love it. Thank you, Derek. :)

I can totally relate to this. Every time I work to rise above old patterns and habits with people (especially people from my past who are familiar with my previous "style"), I can feel these "old outfits" trying to climb their way back onto my body.

I am 100% determined to move through the discomfort and awkwardness (as I have done many times before), to let them go and to "find a new look".

Yay for changes!

Have fun "clothes shopping"!! ;)

Hmm.. being thoughtful about what you project into the world seems like a good idea.

If we assume that what you project into the world influences what you get in return - if you are unhappy with what you get back, you need to work on the signals you're sending out.

But I am a bit surprised about this article though - it is not consistent with the rest of the public you at all. Have a look at your startpage on this site:

"
Me in 10 seconds
I’ve been a musician, producer, circus performer, entrepreneur, TED speaker, and book publisher.

I started CDBaby and HostBaby long ago. My short audio/book about it tells you everything I learned while starting, growing, and selling the business.
"

You have two sections in the "Me in 10 seconds page". One with your entrepreneurial background, one completely focused on CDBaby and HostBaby.

If you're unhappy being approached for sharing experiences with CDBaby, or giving advice to aspiring entrepreneurs - I think you need to archive this site, or redo it completely. I would have expected more action, less blog posts.

Anyway, best of luck.

I decided a couple weeks ago to only wear gray. It reminds me that things are typically never black and white. Will it last? Nothin does, but it sure makes getting clothes and picking them out in the morning simpler.

Very relatable Derek.
There’s a time in life for us all to change.
A change that requires discarding our old persona.

It is weird how clothes tie us to our identity.
I had to go thru a similar shift myself over the past few months.

Honestly it feels good to drop the drab old wardrobe & enter into something new.

Even ended up changing the side of my head i part my hair. That’s one of those nearly imperceptible shifts outsiders recognize but can’t pinpoint.

Kinda wild.
Thanks for sharing Derek. Hope to hear more from you soon!
💜💜💜

I work at a tiny church with a devoted and shy congregation. They meet once a week, but don't really converse during the week. Yet more often than not, the entire congregation will be wearing the same color, or color combo. It's the strangest thing. It has happened so frequently that I can no longer categorize it as random.

Very telling... good read

We don't to be naked or wear specific clothes to belong or not belong. The trick is being able to dress whatever and still feel like ourselves. We should be able to wear anything with dignity and self respect. I am not saying to wear old rags just to be somewhat different, I am saying to feel good beyhond dress codes. I see people wearing some clothes that don't fit the norm just to make a statement, my goal is to be different even wearing the same thing as others, to be me despite any clothes I might wear. Not there yet. Thanks for the reflection Derek.

Hi Derek

Great hearing from you again and love the article as always lifts my spirit

Here is my Prophetic view why not only your Old clothes don't fit and anything to cover it up with the New is not going to do it either.Its God's working Power Transforming You into a complete New back to the Original you taking things out that don't fit in God's Divine plan for you and is slowly giving you where you begin to feel easier adjusting at times learning new ways of doing things how God created the real you staying closer to him feeling more Comfortable and happy for his purpose and stepping successful
into your Destiny.Watching out for Signs and Wonders where the New Clothes begin to fit leaving the old behind that are worn-out while taking that daring step into the unknown which makes you Richer in Mind Body and Soul as your Clothes will findly Fit you Perfectly even more Successful than you are already!
Enjoy this Journey and

Be Blessed always!

Prophet of God
SvB

Guess everyone needs to pass through this phase, some are aware as you do while majority are not.

I found that my new clothes felt so uncomfortable because they actually do fit — but my old clothes didn't, yet I grew so accustomed to wearing them that it felt normal regardless.

These days, I force myself to add one new piece of clothing on a regular basis, just to make sure whatever I'm wearing currently actually fits, and that I have wardrobe variations to help me notice differences.

Hi Derek,

Thanks again for the writing and sharing the conversation. Right now I'm uncomfortable shedding my old clothes and swapping them out for the new ones. I feel like it's been going on for the whole half of this year. But I know that grit I have will help me in the transition and find ones that fit like new again

Cheers

Thanks for sharing...Be cautious of what you discard, whether it's metaphorical, physical, psychological, concrete or abstract.Change usually involves a fine mixture of assessment and choice.

If you wake up to a bunch of broken eggshells, it may be that you've just hatched...

Great points, simple but very effective.. I get it!

Dear Derek, enough being useful! Play! ☺

I LOVE this story so much!!! Man sometimes things just come at exactly the right moment!!! I can totally relate!! and thank you for sharing this because it's actually helped me to see my situation from a different angle AND make me feel like I am not alone in my thinking. Mmaybe I have a little more time to think about things, explore my options and come to really 'know' what I want to wear. :) ha Seems I 'can' love you and your stories even more!! :)

A powerful parable. I'll be sharing this with some friends who could benefit from this wisdom.

What a great analogy, Derek! It’s a message I needed to hear today. Thank you!

Awesome post DS. Just awesome...

I like this branch Derek, follow the path onward

You were such a giving young person and resulting inventor, it seemed you sort of you unconsciously fulfilled your post as generous host very early in life.

I like seeing you work now as a potter reflecting on newness while letting those who are interested cast a vote on what it might shape up to be for them, or for you.

I hope you enjoy your time at the wheel, wherever you are. I know so little of your life’s details, but I enjoy reading the essence of how some of the thoughts that have helped you give wing to so many of ours, originates, bubbles or realizes itself into form. Along this short, blessed miracle of life we share, I remember your essence from Mercury days which always seemed brilliant sky, humble cloud. I look forward with everyone else witnessing your willingness to be vulnerable enough to share your creations with many others, into your journey of holding space for yourself now as well as all of us.
Thank you, Derek.
Jane

Thanks Derek, for the very timely comments and for your transparency. Transitions are indeed tough. I've been in a funk for many months as I transition my business to new leadership. I told them all a year ago that change and growth were gonna be painful, but that pre-knowledge still doesn't fully prepare you—or inoculate you—from the emotional trenches, the tangled logistics, and the raw mechanics of upheaval. I'm finding that you simply have to trudge thru them, sometimes rife with frustration and a heavy heart. I told myself up front to stay on the high road throughout the process, and your generosity of spirit in sharing your own journey is balm for the soul. So thank you for that. I'm sure your new wardrobe is gonna be dazzling. All the best to you my good man.

Tx very much for your brief story essay. It should be required reading
For those in treatment of midlife crises. Your old clothes are the out-
Worn or overused ideas that either do not serve you in our ever/changing world - or need an update that makes them work for
YOU as you move foreword.

Perhaps the next step in the evolution of human civilization
Should be a required educational hiatus at midlife?

Your thoughts - as always- welcome & appreciated!
🖖Ariel

Hi Derek,
It's always good to hear from you. I like my old clothes because people know who I am and they trust me and it's very comforting and comfortable. What they see is what they get. When I darn new clothes they look at me differently. I speak differently and they say I don't sound like the real me. So I take off the new and put the old back on. They say that's much better.

Derek, I love this analogy! Naked we come into the world and we don’t take any clothes into the next. How many people try to cover up our nakedness because it makes them uncomfortable or out of generosity?

Clothing is useful, functional and decorative. I count it a blessing to make clothing choices. Of course everyone has an opinion when it comes to what we put on or take off.

Derek, Thanks again for making me take another look at my clothing choices.! To be profoundly at home in one’s skin is one of the best feelings ever.

Congrats Derek! Thank goodness you have discovered that your old clothes don't fit anymore.

No need to pleas others or be concerned what they think. BE YOURSELF...no matter what THEY say....

I’m about to find some new clothes as well. I fear the whole wardrobe is dated with the old me. But there is a bit left of me and I’m afraid of being naked. So please keep us updated. I would appreciate if you opened the pandoras box of personal stuff and put it out literally. Thanks mister :)

The message is ringing a bell that has been silent for a while. I also have had a time of insecurity on how different the current moment is when compared to the past. It has been a struggle finding that comfort again but I know that it exists and is ready for me to pull them off the rack and get it going.
Thanks so much for the insightful words and the clarity they bring.

Clothes are but the first superficial layer - they are not human. They are 'extraskins' serving as accessories to our personal preferences and climate. Some humans give them more attention and credit than they are worth while others use them as yet another helpful tool. It gets bizarre when they become clear signs of status/hierarchy amongst classes. I wonder if we could ever improve them or even invent a non-clothing thermostat so they could be rendered as obsolete as chain mail?

Perfect, just perfect, and so much my experience. Everyone still wants me in my old clothes, and to me they are just worn out at the seams and do not represent who I am anymore or who I want to be.

Great read. I'm curious: do you ever get frustrated with being known as "The CD Baby Guy"?

Great post and thanks for sharing Derek! I totally here you. There's nothing like the feeling of putting on some fresh new clothes!!!! As the saying goes, "Out with the old and in with the new." Cheers.

Richard (www.richardsmithbeverly.com)

love this.

the struggle now is finding the right tailor...

Nice article and is truthful...

Love this! And this is exactly how I feel right now. I feel a bit naked, but I'm not sure what to put on. I just know I can't wear the old clothes anymore. I do have this one outfit that's been hanging in my closet for quite some time.. maybe this is the time to wear it. But I don't really want to wear any clothes at the moment. I'm enjoying being naked, even though it's scary. Thanks Derek <3

Two things: 1) Funny b/c when I could finally bear to part with 2 shirts I'd loved, I photographed them and wound up using the manipulated images on the artwork of my first CD; an integrative use I found pleasing.

2) A writer posted a TL;DR article re (my favorite band) The Sundays. It specifically addresses the same thing you do regarding 'NO, I DON'T WANT TO REVISIT THAT STORY,' The writer can't get over being told no (several times) to an interview by the former drummer of the band. Both the writer and other fans seem to feel ENTITLED to certain information regarding, in this case, The Sundays.
My take-away from it: "I’d loved the Sundays’ music so much, I’d felt entitled to the people who made it" - so, yeah. Others are going to have boundary issues when they feel entitled to something, and I'm sure I've been right along there with em sometimes! We don't want a shaman to be disappointing, but at the end of the day, the shaman can set limits too.

I know it's time for a new wardrobe. But after 50 years, in these clothes, it's difficult finding the right fit elsewhere.
Your article did make me realize how ill fitting these old clothes have become.
Thanks for the poke.

"Style is what one wears oneself. Fashion is merely the vulgarity of others." -- Oscar Wilde

"The eyes are the whores of the senses." -- Keith Richards

#goodstuff

That's funny! A few years back, I gained a lot of weight, decided it was a permanent change I could do nothing about, since I am clearly not getting any younger. So I bought new clothes, with a more "relaxed" fit. Much more, in case I keep gaining weight. Well, the impossible happened, and my weight went back down to what it used to be. leaving me with clothes that are much too loose. I still had a few things from before, which fit nicely now, but I had given most of them away. I now have to make sure my belt is always tight enough to keep my pants from falling down, and my shirt flaps in the breeze if I walk in a strong wind. I am on a very tight budget, so I can't buy new clothes again. Anyway, I am still getting older, and it's easier to wear clothing that is too large than too small. I guess I will keep everything this time. There is a lesson in this somewhere.
I hope the this fad obsessed world never decides to all go in the buff. Most people in my generation would not look too good that way, except a few super health nuts who have managed to keep fit and trim all their lives. For the rest of us, it would just be embarrassing. "Depends", colostomy bags, wrinkles, sags and warts don't look good on anyone.

Even when you think you’re naked, you’re wearing clothes. You just haven’t understood how to see them yet. The confused people want you to tell them what you’re wearing; they don’t have the patience, I guess, to interact with you and see for themselves. Weirdly, these interactions help you see your self for yourself, too. Cheering for your transformation.

Thank you. Hit home. After years as a professional show pony on stage, authenticity remains a struggle for me. Thanks for making me feel less alone. XO

This is awesome. A great metaphor for a life of growth and change.

What does this mean? If your old clothes don't fit, you just get new ones. What's the big deal? You didn't even say if you'd lost of gained weight.

I've been in a sort of 'funk' as of late and it never occured to me that I'm tyring to make my old clothes work when they clearly don't anymore. I'm going to keep this peice with me and revisit it over the next few days. Thanks for sharing the bit about the idea of trying on 'others' outfits in an attempt to find our own. You are appreciated. Thank you so much.

Nevertheless, clothes tell us more about a person's environment than the actual person. Do we not wear clothing because our environment is more changeable than we can endure internally? Significantly change an environment's norm or the standard deviation around that norm, and you will find every person's clothes misfitting.

Old clothes fit in old environments, but it sounds like you are going somewhere new. Nothing wrong with that. However, when going to different environments, you probably need different clothes.

So, where are you going?

Hi Derek,

I read your book a while ago in the middle of my personal development adventure (from Tony Robbins to Ayahuasca), and I got an email from you a few weeks back asking if I was still up for your e-mails.

Even though I figure chances are it's a mass email, it still felt like you were talking directly to me.

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your stories. They've helped me grow and your latest ones strike a cord within me.

Thank you!
Dave

Well said! Going through this myself.

Thanks for this article. I love the analogy. Gosh, I am in a very confused 'clothing' situation that's been going on for a few years now. Maybe some Marie Kondo approach might help sort it all out.. ;) (I am applying humour to a situation that sincerely needs tidying up)

Derek - I love this and connect with it and with you in it, metaphorically and literally.

I kept getting requests to be a counselor/therapist, referrals and direct asks. (I had been for 20+ years.) The need was there, and I knew I had the skills though not the will anymore to serve and show up in that sit-in-one-spot-all-day and be-one-to-one scheduled-back-to-back capacity. It was hard to say no, and it was clear at the same time.

And it taken years to release the clothes that went with that time in my life. I, too, felt naked (and frankly, terrified) when I stepped away from one way of showing up but had yet to step fully into the other. I'm seeing now that holding onto those clothes was part of having a just-in-case-ness about what I was leaving. Holy smokes... it's been quite a process!

Could I trust the next step? (Today the answer is yes)

Could you? If so, what did it take? Was there a moment when it was suddenly clear for you?

Keeping up with fashion styles may help you to persuade those whom you wish to persuade for the moment, but, in the long run, it becomes tiring and expensive. However, for the insecure, it provides a measure of comfort to dress alike. It helps us feel like we are a part of society, like we "fit in"
I find it peculiar, though, that many "Leaders" often choose to dress differently in order to stand out; to make a statement that seems to say, "I choose my own path, while you sheep have to all dress the same because you can't handle blazing new trails."
And that may be sound advice, because blazing new trails takes a secure, gutsy person who can handle rejection and misguided criticism. However, all"trailblazers" are not the same. There are some who say, "if you won't look at me, I'll keep getting tattoos, funny haircuts, and body piercings until you look at me." So, blazing new trails is a lot of work and expensive, too, I guess. I believe I'll put on my jeans and T-shirt and just forget about it.

Hi Derek, this reminds me of a story that author James Carse (Finite and Infinite Games) told at a lecture. He was a professor at NYU. One day some students asked him to play the role of a policeman in a play they were doing. He put on the policeman's uniform to go to the rehearsal. On the way, he was asked directions several times by tourists. He had to help an old lady cross the street. Someone else wanted to know where the nearest precinct was. After the rehearsal he was so relieved to go home and take off the policeman's uniform! He put on his button down oxford shirt, jeans, and tweed jacket–only to realize that now instead of wearing the uniform of a policeman, he was wearing the uniform of a professor.

Thanks for this, Derek. This was an amazing read, and exactly what I needed.

Wonderful metaphor for life Derek. I am sure it won't be the last time you have to buy new clothes.
An aunt once told me that every decade brings with it new challenges and insights. I think there is wisdom to this.
So even if we don't feel like changing, life has a way of making it happen.
The ability to walk around nude speaks to your self confidence. And why not? If we cannot be comfortable in our own skin, where will we feel at ease?
Blessings,
Lynn Fishman

u are answering my souls "stuckness"!

Naked after being something i was but outgrew is my biggest mountain climb yet..early in life it was easier..age is making it a tad more difficult..

but what choice have i?

if the clothes dont fit they just dont fit

How can I help you?

Once I listened to an episode of "This American Life" where they talked about the myth of class mobility in the US. Because of this myth, we get to blame the economically disadvantaged or sick because they "haven't tried hard enough" or "need to think positive". We have this idea that changing clothes, mannerisms, or thoughts will make us into a fundamentally different person, but there is only so much of the construct of "personality" that is formed by us. Our culture, our genetics, our climate, etc. all affect us too. It's not all our choice.

You can't change your birthday suit. :)

ps one mo thght

evolution is ruthless an changes us whether we want or not..we can go kickin or screamin or with grace

so letting go of control an diving in with music art passion an humor is my choice!

wish u still ran cd baby!! lol see?? i want things as they were!

I love this post! Thank you! My old clothes don't fit either (literally and figuratively) now that I'm over 50. I have been thinking about this kind of thing a lot lately.

Derek,

Great timing. I just moved back to the states from Asia and ballooned out as soon as I got back on US cousine. I too, did not feel like going out, interacting, or especially be in pictures. It felt like I was 10 lbs of crap shoved ina 5 lbs bucket. So, I went to Old Navy, bought some fat kid superhero & throwback XXL shirts. It also lead to a good time for reflection and realize that I needed to chill on the beer and have since changed up diet to improve.

Nice to know I'm not the only one going through this.

Best Regards,

Sean

Wonderfully insightful, and timely, as usual. I’m going through a wardrobe change myself. Thank you for sharing.

I remember when I spent a couple of years naked between 18 and 20 years ago. In the end, a lot of people I used to know didn't like my new clothes and didn't want to know me any more. So, two for the price of one, I managed to shed them too. But I love my new clothes, the fit better and seem to have room for me to expand in as I get older and gain weight.

I love this along with Hell Yeah or No article. You have to create the space first so when the right thing comes along you can put your energy into that with no conflicts.

Derek,

O.K., you had me there for a moment before I realized you were writing metaphorically. ;-) Nicely done!

Your piece reminds me of lyrics from one of my songs called Familiar Strangers.

"Oh, the past is just the present
In a different set of clothes
Like a uniform you wear, but it never shows..."

May your inner Emperor find comfort in his new threads, however they appear to others.

Thank you,
Marshal McKitrick

P.S. If you would like to hear the song, I would be happy to share it with you offline.

This post came right when I needed it. I was holding onto my clothes too long working for some smooth transition, but not realizing that the transition needed to be me 'getting naked' as you wrote. I knew that I was suppose to let go of one of my part time jobs but I needed to do "one more thing" before I left... and now I'm at the transition stage. I need to get up and get into a new gear and I'm doing that. It took me long enough to get here, now for a continuous change to a new me. Thanks for the post

Loved reading it! It was as though I had written it myself! How are you doing? I have retired from music and am writing an explosive script with my son which is too hot to reveal at this point. Where are you residing now?

This is really profound and much needed. Thank you.
Thank you for being you.

Authentic just feels right...this was so fun to read!
I hope you keep writing!
Jacqueline

Interesting!! It seems that if one keeps all of their "old clothes" - Habits- they will have a difficult time being able to assume a new role in life. I think that we all suffer from this problem at times.
Best wishes,
Gary

Look, the emperor is naked. That is okay, because he is the emperor. We will ignore his lake of clothing, ....for now.

Absolutely love it. THis was very timely as a myself and a group are pondering a series of abstract questions such as what is the purpose of my existance? What is true in my life? Am I the real me?
This article dove tails really nicely into it as does the guardian article www.theguardian.com/global/2019/jul/06/are-you-really-the-real-you-and-how-can-we-best-become-our-true-selves?

and the "Faking it" episode mentioned in thge article is an absolute must www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C9v6__0K-0

Thankyou for sharing ,

ps I love your work

I hope folks reading this get the metaphor....it is something to think about.

Awww. Don't feel used! You were what you waz and yet I don't think you were USED to entertain large groups:I think you were speaking to what they needed to hear at that time. Or, you were knitting scarves and people needed them.
I know there are people who are happy to relax with you in what you are wearing right now, and people reading or on the 'phone can't see what you're wearing anyhow.

"But nothing at all? They probably can’t use me for anything."

Were we supposed to suspend disbelief before reading? Just about everyone has a use for a nude person who meets their erotic specifications.

I'm happy to say that my clothes do fit. It is the hangers that don't. I'm working on that.

Wishing you the best with your journey!

Mmmm interesting, over the last couple years I have transitioned clothes to be closer aligned to my direction but the body did as well. Not the way I wanted / hoped. .

Very thought-provoking Derek! "Does this emperor have No clothes??" ... Are we what we wear? I suppose we can create or make ourselves into anything we want...if we want...
Old clothes like a comforting blanket, or perhaps old ways, old ideas, ancient ideas, truths..truth. Do we discard all the old to break it down, to bring in the "new".. Is it okay to want to serve and spread something good, to others and to ourselves...
Perhaps we stand naked and find our true selves, beyond the superficial or facade we may or may not wear...
Perhaps we cherish a part of ourselves that is core, is us, our soul and intellect and how it connects us to the now and the past and the hereafter and everything after this is just for pleasure, for expression, for fashion even.

Wow. Just wow. Very timely and insightful. I’ve been feeling that way for a long while. I just keep changing and saying no to things and people who no longer fit in my life. I hope someday I may reach my comfort level again. Many thanks for your post. It made my day.

l enjoyed your article as they say Out With The Old In With The New!

While transitioning to a new career more in tune with my aspiration I left my corporate suit behind and am comfortable in my casual clothes. I suppose there are different clothes for different occasions.

I can never judge how much I'll love or hate my clothes just by looks alone. It's only after I actually wear them out that I discover extreme happiness or extreme disappointment. And isn't it funny how much time is invested in dressing up for people who don't really like you. It's as if your clothes will change their mind, but it almost always never does.

(Old clothes don't fit), is funny but interesting. All you have to do is change shape, heavy or light, and you have to change clothes. Also travel to different places and let time pass into different periods of time or go through different continuous climate changes as we are now doing.


We need not be concerned about our clothes fitting.

We grow and shrink in many ways.

Here’s a story ... there are these ‘monks’... ‘naga sadhus’, they are called here in India . Even to this day, largely remaining naked (& reclusive) - nothing to hide & definitely nothing to show ! Their clarity is so intense/ fierce , not many can remain in their presence long ...

Great perspective Derek. Thanks for sharing it with us all!!!

I gained about 30lbs since I moved from Miami Beach to Chicago
about 3 years ago, and can’t fit in any of my old clothes.
So for me - identity is tied to weight gain ...

Hello!

Thank you for another beautiful piece! So easy to understand and read. Flows so well. It has really settled my night and current life of transition. May you be free of suffering and fear!

Thanks Derek for this great article :) !!! I am also in a transition and my huge ego ( bigger than the galaxy) always get on the way :) I have to meditate on how to delete my EGO.

Color me intrigued... looking forward to hearing more! ☺

Indeed.

Take a deep breath and relax

Hi Derek,
Thanks

best regards,
Jan

Hi Derek

Interesting? Am reading Eckhart Tolle at present and I think there may be a common theme in here?

Of course, it's okay if there isn't ☺

Derek

Are you still in the UK? If so, I hope you're enjoying your stay.

Clothes: we've all tried many an outfit; mostly, we used borrowed clothes or at least those etched in the image of someone or somehting else.

In the end, true self doesn't need clothes. It just is. Nakedness -- if that's your thing! -- is just another faux garb designed to connect you with someone you think can offer you something. I (always) take my cue from nature: a tree is just a tree -- it certainly doesn't need a tie or suit to be a better tree; a bird is a bird; and a worm...well, they're just worming. Perhaps that's it: we just need to be 100% human -- all body, mind and spirit.

Deep bows my friend.

Love

Julian

Hey Derek,

Yes this resonates with me both ways......I've changed alot in the last 5 years. I still get people asking me about what I did before. It's starting to change now. I'm trying to put those new clothes on now too. I think overtime people will forget the old me. I'm hoping......because the more I do this the more I learn and become better at it.

Keep up the good work. You are inspiring to read. People need to hear real stuff.

Ryan

to many minds

Skating backwards at the speed of light you've changed in a thousand little ways. You may be sitting in the kitchen but you're stepping out jack of speed.

Hi Derek,
I don't believe I have ever written a response to one of your articles.
most of your article are interesting but not realy in line with the outlook I choose in life.
This one was different. I don't know where you got it from but it hit a deeper core reality then I believe even you relize. Congrates on an amazing pice.

Thank you.!

So good. Just soooo goooood. I mean like REALLY GOOOOOOOOOD. From the bottom of my naked heart: THANK YOU Derek.

Lovely, mate! In my mind, if you don’t keep changing your clothes, you won’t continue to grow. If you don’t continue to grow, you’re part of the living dead. That’s why Zombie movies are so popular these days 😘

Sometimes I do keep the old clothes just because they have a great memory - perhaps something my father bought me, something my favorite aunt gave me. As I dare to discard my long held convictions and ideantity, I do like hanging on to a few things that keep me grounded ☺

Hey Derek, sounds like time is ripe for something interesting huh? Some wonderful changes were induced recently by Ayahuasca. If you ever want to consider. Let me know you have my email. There are other less drastic and more acceptable methods by society (holotropic breathing, meditation) and more drastic measures (iboga, bufo) but this Aya might be drastic enough.

Good luck with your journey.

My thought is that some of your old friends might understand, but others might be confused. Some people are more adaptable, but for others your new 'clothes' might not be a comfortable fit with the dynamics of how you have been relating.

All the best, Richard

I like this,it's been on my mind all morning reminds me of one of the most useful phrases I have ever heard "you are not married to this"

Re: Your PS -- I really don't think you need to re-write this one iota. It is clear that it is a metaphor. Sometimes saying less is more, and leaving a bit of mystery is actually more effective.

I'm going thru that now, have been for a few years now. I'm 66, business owner and weekend musician. Just signed up for my SS benefit, and am still working full time. I try to play music still, but the schlepping the drums and my Bose porta-PA has become too much. I've been wanting to try it with a cajon, and a littler PA. Maybe it's time for a new look, just listen to others play, and being a man enjoying the sound and the sunshine.

I really enjoyed this metaphor. I have been in the process of changing my wardrobe for about 2 years, and it's been weird being naked and transitioning from that nakedness into the new clothes.

As Shakespeare famously wrote (in “Hamlet”), “the apparel oft proclaims the man”! Continuing the metaphor of stripping down to the bare essence, I highly recommend Garr Reynolds’ “The Naked Presenter” — my favorite book on communication/presentation of all-time.

Haha, I’m in the process of figuring what clothes I really like. It seems as if I’ve been trying to wear ones that everyone else looks good in or what I think k I will look good in. I think I found some that make me happy but I’m afraid to let go of what I thought was going to bring me happiness. Maybe that’s part of shopping. Trying some on then trying another pair in and seeing what excites me. And sometimes it might just be a fad or it might just be a phase and that’s ok too. I’ll keep trying trying until I get the ones that fit me just right. Thanks for the post.

You don't need the postscript. It's apparent it's a metaphor. I love this post very much.

I love reading all that you write, Derek. Always gives me pause to think. Thank you.

I truly enjoyed that article my friend. 😎🎶

At the end of 2018 I realized I was in denial. Figured out I was not just bisexual but leaned way heavier towards guys. I'm a guy. 42. I had to get divorced from my wife. We have a child together. Still are friends. Also realized I love wearing women's clothes and am transgender. Walk around town dressed this way. Living a gay life now instead of straight. So I totally get the metaphor aspect and is literal for me. Triple whammy. HUGE changes.
I was wondering if anyone was going to take it that way. Thanks for mentioning this! — Derek

Absolutely, Derek I do relate, thank you so much for sharing this significant metaphorical story. It resonates with me pretty much! I've gone through that 'letting go' of my 'old clothes' quite a few times in my personal, professional and spiritual life. In fact, it happens every time I get on the next level!

Hi Derek,

have a try at:

www.lanieri.com/en

and

www.yoox.com/uk?memory=1

you could find what you you really like!

All the best!

Fabrice, greetings from Italy.

Derek, your article was clear as a bell as your writing always is. I loved it and feel much the same way. You need not change a thing, but of course your clothes. Thank you for another delightful insight.

Derek, thank you for sharing, it made me ponder...Some are not able to escape the weight of their clothes, by choice or circumstance. Within the grand design if one is able to transform then we are all enlightened by grace and courage.
I wish you are happy weekend.

Christina

Very well said! Cheers!

Dear Derek, this type of thinking got me kicked out of class for being disruptive. Did you ever have these problems in school? I completely dig this. And completely dig why you had to re-write it for the dear folk who are unable to grasp the metaphor. These would likely be many of the A students who never got kicked out of class for being disruptive.
Funny tho... how all industries are looking to hire disruptive people. Can you please use your excellent brain to help me nut this out?

I like it. Think I’ll try it.

When I got to the line, "I get invited to speak at events... I explain that [my old outfit] doesn't fit..."

I began to clap and grin in appreciation.

Derek, I think this is brilliant. Who wants to keep walking around in clothes that are 21 years old? Time to become more you than you’ve ever been. This reminds me of what Christ said about putting new wine in old wine skins; just won’t work.

I loved this and yes i knew right away it was metaphor. Exactly what I am going through right now. kind of...I bought this shirt years ago but it didn't fit something wasn't right, it just hung in the closet. During that time I pretty well quit writing, learning, speaking I just worked and recently I realized I am wearing out all of my clothes and that working as a janitor even as comfy as the job is; I am dying slowly...every month the dream falls further and further away; every month I collect a bit more debt, fall a bit more behind in school and relationships. The other day I decided to go to a toastmasters meeting...I had no clothes I looked into my closet and found that the shirt fit, not only fit it looked and felt good. it was an old/new shirt and the sign that I took from it was that it was time to believe and take action towards my dreams again. Great post Derek; thanks for allowing me to share as well.

I like the comments, some have little gems.

Derek, if I wanted you to podcast or be on stage then I would not offer money or plead. No, I would politely have a conversation, discover "where you are at," reason together and then do what is right for you.

To me, that would be as polite for both of us as me wearing clothes in good repair, properly tucked in and color coordinated.

Hi Derek what a coincidence about these old clothes. There was a time when I thought clothes were important but not anymore. I see people dress up for the day but I just wear the minimum. I don't think most people on the street care what you wear. In the summer I like to wear shorts and t shirt and slippers at home and when I'm out locally. In the winter something warmer but when I have to go to a concert or dinner,the more important the event the more stressed I get. I just don't want to dress up to look civilized anymore so as soon as I come back home off they come and I don't have to wear them anytime soon. I think it's wanting to feel natural. I don't know when I developed this habit but clothes don't have the allurement they once did.

I love the way your writing flows like fabric,since I think outside the box most of the time.
You should wear what makes you feel great. Me personally I love a new look almost everyday, just because it's a new day.

Thanks for reading my comment, keep up the great work can you please take a look at my new site and let me know what you think?
www.raeraestar.com

Derek,

You should help us fight Spotify, or you may not be able to purchase new clothes !
Musicians, be very care full. - Spotify, Pandora, You Tube and Sound Exchange are ripping all Artists off ! http://musicianroyaltyripoff.org/ They only pay Six Cents per 100 Streams. And No One will buy your music when they can listen to it for Free !
5,000 plays on Spotify = $3.00. Which is a Major Rip ! Musicians, be very care full. - Spotify, Pandora, You Tube and Sound Exchange are ripping all Artists off !

artists.spotify.com/videos/the-game-plan/how-spotify-pays-you?utm_source=homecards&utm_medium=houseads&utm_campaign=alwayson_creator_single_creator_homecards

Can't wait to see what comes out of the cocoon. I was wondering what your next iteration would be. I am really looking forward to it.

These aren't even my clothes. They have never fit. Most people think this is me, but I'm just a dummy, wearing what was given to me. If I take them off or put on something else, some will despise and the rest will not know me. But I will know. I alone.

Good Morning Derek,

It was great to read this blog! I am currently in a job transition and have to shed my old clothes in order to try on something new. It's helpful to know that even you have to go shopping once in awhile.

Wow. Hit the nail right on the head man. Especially this week

Fab and soooo so true !

Hey Derek, this is also something I have been tossing around. I work part time at The Broad Theater in Santa Monica, CA. Lately I've seen many older and younger guys wearing "Skinny Jeans." WHY? Are frog legs in? Is it obvious they are trying to fit in somewhere, somehow for some reason. Why? Our perception needs to change every once in a while but should it be to follow every trend, to be Vogue to be accepted?

The weird thing is, the followers always look lost! Who are they? What are they? Comfort is everything, style means something but don't follow the crowd! I never have because other things like feeding the homeless or petitioning against war is much more important.

If you're wearing something like a tux to exhibit a certain celebration uniform, fine. Some places you want to respect the event. But if you wear leather to a "Save the animals" gathering the PC Army will be talking about you. Big deal, this isn't life or death and realize "Not everybody is going to love you." If you're out of style, you could just be ahead of your time or living a full life pursuing your goals and not somebody else's. If you have any gumption, self-esteem and confidence you will laugh it off.

I could write a book on this. People rarely understand what it means to be an original artist. Of course I'm the guy who produced a "Heavy Metal Harmonica" album and established the first wind instrument speed record on the harmonica. If you have a heart and care about people and the planet! Stick with that, that's what's important!! Not to look like you fit in with your skinny jeans or whatever. If you want to be original, design your own clothes! Prince and The Buzzard did.... Rock on!!

Great piece! Sending to some friends and loved ones now! Thanks for writing this!

The problem with putting on new clothes is the feeling of imposter’s syndrome. At least when you are naked there aren’t as many expectations. Maybe enjoy that for a bit and let others see the clothes they want to see, or is the problem... that they only see the old clothes?

Love your clothes, change them or leave them 😀

At 73 I still weigh the same 133 lbs I did at 15. But my then 5-9 frame has shrunk to 5-7. I ballooned up to 142 for a brief time in college when running cross country and developed shin splints but kept eating training meals. I still have and could wear clothing I purchased all over the world. I can relate to my Japanese silk smoking jacket, my Taiwan handmade leather jacket, my shoes from the P.I. They all refresh memories of their origin.
The Woolrich Pennsylvania Tuxedo hunting outfit my father purchased for me when I was 12 required me to take two steps before it moved then but it still fits me now ! I think I'll be buried in it !

wow, spot on analogy! and considering the changing music biz, this is more true for me than ever before. After concentrating on my last recordings "Smilin Island" , i became unplugged from the live performance venues, while at the same time the younger kids picked up the ball. So am not catching up on my book about the bar business with all the circuses I've seen, but rather having a hiatus of sorts. It's refreshing not to be working and yet.....i still want the wear the old guitar and clothes. Could i be disenchanted or charting a new course, or its the darn confluence of retrograde planets and black moon? Like several other times at the edge of the dimensional reality, I remember doing nothing was actually just as appropriate a reaction. I am empathetic of your above writing and perhaps living it. For now its Hyde and watch.

Well done my virtual friend!
Remember, don't get attached to your new closthes! We have so many of them.
It's an open stage, play until down, you are free to change your clothes any time you like.

A different description of the same phenomenon
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj-91dMvQQo

Gotta do some soul searching for me to courageously discard my old clothes.

I'm also looking for new clothes! Time to shed old habits and re-create ourselves ☺

That is a really brilliant bit of observation and implementation..How fab!. Being in the. music business and front line performer, I know what used to look good on me is what I crave but can never have without looking and feeling ill. Going to take all of this on board and instead of trying to get into those old clothes that make me look like my Mum trying to be me, I just have to try and be funky with a whole new look. It is a bit easier in you are a bloke but not that much so these days.. I want my flat chest and tweeny waist again but now feel that my boobs go before me all matronly and invasive. people say I am just curvy but the truth is that I have to believe that; Own who I am and who I am not ie own my own growth ( in all respects) and that maybe I have grown to accommodate all that I have become? Loved the inspiration Dezzie..No more Demis Roussos tents to hide my bumps but fitted clothes that celebrate my curves..Bleached hair, red lips and high shoes will do the rest..No more lounge lizard except if it looks like the Armani chilled woman of a certain age that I will simply have to own and celebrate on route to self loving happiness. Hurray

uhh naked was the worst for me. My knee jerk reaction was to throw on some clothes--any clothes. Old clothes, new clothes, pjs, a robe, a towel, anything. Just cover it up! It started after my body had been traumatized when I was sixteen. My nakedness had been invaded, and to see it scared me after that. my nakedness became an ill fitting, and scratchy.
My naked skin is brown and when I'd see it, it was a reminder that I'd been called names, treated as lowly and lost gigs and opportunities because of prejudices.
I didn't want to see my breasts or between my legs because when I saw my womanly parts, they were reminders that like my skin color, they'd been a liability to me with the countless men in power who'd bar the gates unless a price was paid with those parts; talent be damned. They had no respect, and worse, they tried to use my dreams for their conquest.
On top of that, I got stretch marks and a permanent baby pooch--a reminder of my failings as a parent. So clothes were my best friend. I loved and found comfort in all of them new or old, but fancy as heck was a good costume. I was a champion clothes horse.

I’m naked right now. I prefer to it. I see my brown skin now and even though it is a sad reminder that there are other brown people—children who are being persecuted, I accept and embrace my brownness and my sex. I ran a gauntlet because of these factors, but in doing so, it trained me like an olympic gold medalist. I’ve got injuries and scars, but I’ve sinewy muscles too, and a long distance runner’s stamina to see things through. I feel satisfied that I did my best, and tried my hardest. I never let anyone use my body to get a gig, or to place my songs, nor for the promise of fame. I relied on my smarts and my talents to get ahead.

Now when I am naked, I thank my body for being the vessel that brought forth life. I caress my baby pooch because it is a reminder that I bask in the love of my children and that I am lucky to be their mother. It tamps down the mom guilt and reminds me that I love them and cared for them right from the first spark of their lives.

It feels so good to be naked, cuz I've got a great birthday suit. Like all the classic cuts, it’s always in style (unless you ask my kids). It’s machine washable and permanently pressed. It is adjustable, reversible and conforms into whatever outfit I want/need it to be. Sometimes it’s a three piece power suit for work, or a sexy red dress for my man. Most of the time it’s a warm, soft house dress for snuggling and it's got pockets. I can even cook and clean in it!
Man! This thing goes with all my accessories no matter the color scheme or style. As a matter of fact, I never take it off or cover it up anymore. If I look closely, it’s a little frayed at the edges, but it’s got no stains. It keeps me real, and it’s the most comfortable thing I own.

Hi Derek,

The blog post was timely. I was passing in front of a Lululemon Lab in Soho, staring a the manikins for the first time - that was the moment I realized my clothes no longer fit. The next day, my dress pants felt uncomfortable, my collared shirt didn't tuck in right. My mental state was equally out of wack. Couldn't wait to return the Lab and change my life around. When I did go in, each article of clothing was carefully crafted, breathed the sense of inner peace that I wanted to feel inside and covey out to other. I got really excited, but it was all really expensive. And while each piece was amazing I realized that I could not put together a coordinated outfit. So, I wanted to share the concept of an outfit - that our persona is not just one great shirt, rather it is the synergy of several parts that makes everything feel like it "fits". Anyways, I bought the shirt, went shopping elsewhere and found yoga-ish pants, and then I got soft shoes to complement. It was a liberating shopping experience. Going to feel like a new man when I walk into the office tomorrow...but still hesitant to "cut the tags" Ha!

Thank you for your words. This is profoundly thought provoking.
Kind of makes me tend to think about not being able to find clothes that fit for most of my life. I have been trying other people's clothes for a few years then switch to other people's clothes for a few more years and they never fit. I am still trying to find something my own. That one style that speaks to me and makes me look at the mirror and recognize myself. I guess I have always felt naked.
Thank you for this. I hope your new attire will give you the peace you deserve.

Derek, I only went to the shops recently in my painting (DIY building) clothes. My trainers are tatty and falling apart. In the store I noticed the security guard follow me and wondering where he was at the till saw him outside.
I wonder if he thought because my clothes my appearance was tatty that i was going to steal? That I did not have any money?
Its a powerful message and one that goes in a nudist camp or in the swimming pool. Clothes or our appearance does make a mark.

I like this! Oddly enough, I too am going through the process of finding "new clothes" for a new me. As it happens, I actually had the chance to do a lot of offending-no-one nudity (alone, at home) for a while this summer. Learning to be comfortable "in your own skin" is a tough challenge if you've been avoiding the question for a while. But for me, it is an essential component of new growth. Who knew this is what a crysalis looks like on the inside?!

Love this! It screams to me that someone else can relate to how I've been feeling not only as a businessman/entrepreneur but more importantly as a person. Profound and poetic!

The ability to sit with myself, just as I am, is proving to be the most difficult adventure I have ever embarked upon.

Derek, how are you possibly navigating the world for more than a couple seconds wearing absolutely nothing? How can you resist the urge to at least kind of look like everyone else? What’s allowing you to resist grabbing the nearest thing that looks like clothes and covering your balls with it?

How can one sit in the nudity long enough to overcome the compulsion to give into the screaming outside and inside the head to put some clothes on?!

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Truly a unique and gifted thinker you are. Inspirational and thought provoking as always. Thank you Derek

Yea - your old clothes and old ways kind of go hand in hand - so perhaps gloves should be included in the Metaphor. And unless you are truly the Emperor, sooner or later you have to choose which shirt you will put on and which hat as well. But people who know you are are at least knowledgable of who you are will always categorize you in the way they see fit. But It is only you who have to wear the clothes so get dressed and move on bro.

A metaphor indeed! I completely relate. At another crossroads in my life. Some people keep trying to shove me back into those old clothes, but I like some of the new ones that I've discovered. And clothes from other cultures fascinate me. I want to design my own!

In love with..... At first did not get it but as I went on I got real sense of it

I remember you writing once about how when a person wants to make a change it's sometimes best done in an extreme sense to give it the full go.

Your article makes me think of a few things. First of the title of that zen book 'zen mind, beginner's mind' which I never read but of which the title had a real influence on my valuing of the position of beginner's mind (vs expert mind), not grasping fixed ideas on who you are and what exactly you should do but approaching the thing or situation you approach 'nakedly'. Secondly that that doens't only feel 'rich' sometimes, but it can feel scary too, this not keeping a defined sense of identity close by.
Thanks for the article, Derek
Johan

Wow! Bravo Derek!

I think you are (not being ironic) nearing the bottom of the Valley nearing a changed MASTER VISION, for yourself, asking 'WHAT IS IT THAT I WOULD BE WILLING TO SACRIFICE MY LIFE FOR'?

+ astonishing for people like us, discovering our lost motivational heritage from the old guys who were trying to figure stuff out thousands of years ago: Jordan Peterson psychologist/Adventurer/explorer Youtube lecture Series on the Old Testament,a la Jung, Nietzsche et Al. www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-wWBGo6a2w&list=PL22J3VaeABQD_IZs7y60I3lUrrFTzkpat&index=1

Dear friend, this was so entertaining and in some way true. Especially for me since I always want to look good in what I'm wearing and care too much about what others think of me.

You made me laugh!

Thank you for sharing.

The gray area of transformation/evolution is so exhausting at times, at least for me it is. I feel like I've been in the gray area for one too many years. I'll be interested to see your next version. Thanks for writing!
Katie

There's definitely a lot of overlap here with the feeling of going through a second puberty with regard to gender <3

Glad you're on the way to finding your new light in life.

Hey Derek! You are so good about giving back very useful things to the world! I really admire you!
I have a hard time retiring my clothes and I have saved so many t-shirt samples from when I worked at a screen printing company, years ago. You have made me re-think about holding onto all the tees. I know others could really use them to wear and enjoy. I designed a lot of the shirts as well, so it's tough to let go of some things. I enjoyed your blog and congrats on having the balls to change out your wardrobe, and to let go of items that gave you so much comfort for many years. Thank you for posting this blog and for reminding me it's great to look at yourself naked sometimes :)

Trey McGriff
WhiskeyChild.com

I believe nothing happens by accident (addendum to email)
After much contemplation this appeared to me and WOW! have to share this with you:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z9ZzcgXrS0

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cvatxw3ZKM (John 6:68)

Some may say it's serendipity (coming from a musician/literary genius), but the TRUTH IS that the real clothes that fit is - PEACE! (John 14:27)(John 15:5) (John 6:35,)
This the only clothes in which we live and die.

Derek,

Deep insights and Powerful motivations. The future is ahead and we must dress for occasion to produce a positive end result.


Thanks,

Ernie

“A man who examines the saddle and bridle and not the animal itself when he is out to buy a horse is a fool; similarly, only an absolute fool values a man according to his clothes, or according to his social position, which after all is only something that we wear like clothing.” (Letters from a Stoic, Seneca)

This denotes a great metaphor for dragging around the old and not allowing the new. I didn’t take your article literally, albeit you may have preferred it that way. Just today, I noted that one can’t embrace the new while still holding on to the past. It’s still you... but time to shed the old skin, as it no longer serves you. We must get out of our comfort zones, in order to experience new opportunities.

This is one of my favorites... from your work.

good to here from you hope everything is well

well thanks finally i understand my closet was full ive shut the door and locked it basically been sacked from every job because i dont like dishonesty so good stuff now i know hi ho hi ho off the grid i go and its only taken me 70 years to realize so back to la la land i go nice thank you Derek

What a beautiful way of describing transition. I feel like you've given me some words to put to the last couple years of my life. I certainly felt like I've been wearing other people's clothes, but didn't know how to adequately voice the feeling of taking those off and searching for something new.

Derek, love the analogy. Change is not easy, and once you change, it's interesting to see the response from friends & family too. It's not the norm. So people don't know how to react, and so they revert to type, which is to compare with ones earlier avatar and dissatisfaction results.

Derek,

A great story!

For those of you that haven't gone through this - I'm not sure if I wish it on your or not. I think it's inevitable in some ways. The opportunity, although - sometimes we need to be pushed to change our outfits and our lives! Trying to figure ourselves out - if even for the very first time or because of the fate that life bring us can be difficult, and confusing.

It some ways, it's probably a matter of perspective. When young - when everything is always easier and depending on how adventures one may be. Changing outfits and your look to the world can be fun, wonderful and part of the journey if you allow it. Under your own terms - everything is something you've decided and will find a way to make work.

When life hands us something unexpected or as Derek points out - when you just realize a change is needed. In those cases, going to the store and finding what fits can be a seamlessly impossible task! For me, it was later in life that I had the opportunity, challenge, difficult and yet wonderful point to change my clothes.

Letting go of who you are - although your not totally doing that, but more importantly letting go of who you think the world things you are can be the hardness thing. I guess my only advice would be to try on many clothes as Derek does until you find something that fits.

And don't be afraid to change them again or often if necessary!

Alan

I love this, Derek. We are we so wedded to our old clothes, why can't we divorse them and start a new relationship with a new identity - I guess fear of not finding new clothes and being naked forever blocks our liberation. I have to say I'm bored with my old clothes. What steps do you suggest for shedding the old clothes?

Thank you - very thought provoking read ☺

Yea I didn't only change my clothes I changed me as well. Great article as usual

Thank you for identifying what I myself am going through. I, like each of us have many faces to go with the clothes. I need to be lay down the faces and clothes that don’t fit anymore. Again, thank you for giving me a lot to think about. You are on the right track.

This is right on time. I have shed my old clothes and I am beginning to wear new ones. For example, the old version manifested as family and friends weighing me down with all of their clothes (in this case, problems) on top of mine, that filled the entire house including the bedrooms, attic, bathrooms and basement.

As I decided to clean house and rid myself of all the clothes, I shed weight and began to feel lighter as if I'd been carrying a baby elephant (calf) and finally managed to "remove the elephant off my back."

Whew!!! It feels like I've lost 200 pounds now. I have more clarity and a desire to fulfill parts of my dreams such as wearing new clothes (in this case, going shopping for simpler clothes that are comfy and appealing, rediscovering and reviving old interests that made me happy, purchasing a VISION BOARD to write down some new goals and chip away at them, one step at a time, etc).

I am wearing new clothes in a new house.

PS - Absolutely loved what Denny (#7-7/31/2019) said...

Perfect timing! Thanks Derek ☺

Freaking cool. Blurs the line between slightly surreal short story and experimental essay.

Wow - this hit the nail on the head for me today. I keep trying to stuff myself into my old "work" clothes that work for corporate jobs when it's really time to discard them altogether and go for it as an entrepreneur. How freeing it would be to put the suits in a big garbage bag and donate them!
Thanks for this message! You are such a gifted and thought-provoking writer -- I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. As for your frustration with requests to speak about your past, I'm wondering if there's a message in that emotion of feeling frustrated for you to listen to. I have learned that there is tremendous wisdom in our emotions -- if we only pay attention. What exactly is causing the frustration, vs. simply feeling gratitude (together with the "no thanks") that people admire your success and want to be inspired by it. Something to consider, perhaps..

Hmm.. I'm guessing this is about the traits, habits, mannerisms, ways of thinking, beliefs--everything that makes up your "personality" are the "clothes" that don't fit anymore in this story. Recognizing that your clothes don't fit anymore can be equated with feeling like you need a change in your life or are seeking to "shed" your old skin: Ways of thinking, routine, habits (essentially everything I mentioned earlier), etc. I like it! :)

And what if you found that life brought to you new clothes that don't fit, but you also find that going back to old ones is very difficult?

What an analogy and everlasting message! Loved it.

Thanks for that, it resonates in so many ways. On one level, I have closets full of things I can't bear to part with. You got me thinking about why, and what the connection might be. On another, I'm transitioning from corporate to creative work, so literally my "work" clothes don't fit what I'm doing. And then, clothes as costume. Brilliant!

Thank you :)

Hey Derek!

We have a similar saying in our Aikido Dojo.

"You cannot fill a cup that is already full!"
So before you try to learn anything new you must "Empty your cup!"

Take care and talk soon,
W.

My old clothes never did fit. But, I wore them anyway, they were all I had.

Everything about you amazes and inspires me (all of us!), Derek! THANK YOU for continuing to make!

In my recent change of careers (in my mid-40s), I'm going through this. People keep telling me that I need to go back to what I was doing. But I can't. I'm past that now. That phase of my career, though lasting 25 years, is over.

My work is slow in my new career. It's because I'm just getting started and I don't have very many contacts. It's also because I had to do several weeks of training. The training is free, but I didn't get paid during that time.

I have to be the one to see how this will all work out in the long run. Most everyone around me are only seeing the short run. They don't understand why I had to change. And that's because they don't know what I've been through and they don't know where I'm going.

This is one of your best articles. Very well written. For me, it's timely. I needed to read this right now.

Dude 🤯🤤☯️. That hit me. It's what I have been feeling for far too long. It's so readable an it just naturally clicked in my head. Thanks man

As always, thank you for sharing Derek! This is beautiful and from the heart. I believe whatever you choose to wear we will still appreciate the beauty, wisdom, and joy of your spirit. Thank you! Love you.

P.S. I would love to hear any new music or art you've made. I'm certainly looking forward to your new books.

Namaste.

I'm also struggling as I wear different clothes for different activities. I'm not sure I can wear a white coat with a clowns outfit while playing an instrument without causing confusion in all areas.I haven't tried naked...

I'd be interested to know how you find the clothes that say what you want them to.

Love this, a lot. Its hard to pick out your own clothes! Im not sure Ive ever had the opportunity to go shopping on my own and make my OWN decisions about what I will wear. Bouncing around from outfit to outfit, attempting to find the best fit has left me, at times, feeling like I may never find the shoes that fit juuuust right. Maybe going nude for a while is the move. Maybe we start with a some accessories first, like a ring, or a necklace, then maybe some socks... You say you're a "slow thinker", I think now that there is an opportunity to dress ourselves once again for the first time, we should dress slow. Thank you D, love your thoughts!

Do you want your clothes to fit? Or to "appear to" fit?

I guess it all depends on whose standards and opinions matter most...

Humans are creatures of habit. They always want to hang on something they are used and comfortable. To get out is a Herculean task. You have done will to do this. Bravo! We also need something to keep us going. Each individual needs to decide what that something else should be. No judgment here about what each one does. Make sure it is fulfilling

Love this. Thank you, Derek.
If people around you don't like your new clothes, soon enough the people around you will get substituted by the ones who do. At least that's my experience.
Love,
Vit

what a great analogy! Fabulous. Thanks

My clothes haven’t fit since I got pregnant for the first time over 15 years ago. I haven’t had the time or energy to even look for new ones that might fit now. I’ve been walking around naked all this time and have been embarrassed about it for every single one of those minutes. : (

Woah this ! I so get this ... literally after losing 110 pounds however even more so because I also left my life behind with the weight. I’m still fairly naked and the people who liked me the old way have become a part of my past life. It’s like reincarnating... alive. My world at 51 is not anything like what I built around me for indeed that too has crumbles. The things I feared most occurred and I’m ok... better than ok. VIVA liberation! I stormed my own gates ...and flip flops and jeans suit me fine ;)

Derek, thanks for this post. It really helps me think about what I am going through. I was a pastor for 33 years. Now, due to a change in beliefs, I am not. I exited 3 years ago and feel like I am in the "nude" stage you are writing about. I will encourage myself today believing I will find my new clothes soon. And, I will NOT be pressured to put my old clothes on. Thanks for what you do. It's important.

great story! Thank you!

Wow, this is brilliant.

My motto is and always will be,"Be yourself, but don't be a slob" One can wear jeans and flannel if that's the fit, how one carries themselves in that is the other half of the equation. Me, I'm the the jeans and cotton guy, that's what I'm comfortable in and I don't put on airs. I speak well and carry myself well,and the rest I don't worry about! A simple rule in life,"do the next right thing and the rest will follow".
Derek, you're living proof! (CD Baby) You don't even have to do this anymore! Unless you would like to be a part of the solution, which would be a multi million dollar equation!
Digital killed the music and publishing industry period! It's currently doing the same to retail(no more brick and mortar stores).It's ugly out there dude. I'm not a musician, but I write, and I write some pretty good stuff, imagine life in those shoes. I just sent a girl an email (she's more established than I)she won't be touring this year due to a lack of an online fan base.
People are listening to the internet buzz and think it has to be done that way. It doesn't! Don't fall into the trap! You created a solution before, take your vast experience and share it again!
There are many talented musicians out there that can't move, they're giving their shit away hoping it pays off down the line and it doesn't!
I write this because you keep coming up in my e-mail, DON"T get into this! You should be set for life after the sale of CD Baby. Don't cheapen yourself with online gimmicks, most of these folks are flakes! You want to do a blog? do a real blog!
If you do it right they will come and you don't have to ask. They will find you! You have a few soldiers out in front directing the way, don't sell yourself short! Robert

Great Post Derek,

Your tale reminds me of the issue my Strivers (alcohol - free community) face when 'coming out.'

In most cases people arrive at Strive with a diamond ring belief that they want to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol. In most cases that's not true. Once they realise that they have to wear different clothes than everyone else, and that they have to be naked during a transition that could take many years, they realise the value in drinking alcohol, that they don't want to stop, and they put on those old clothes.

I will share this with the gang.

Thanks for writing it.

Lee x

Yesterday I thought about a short tale by Hans Christian Andersen "The Emperor's New Clothes" which I remembered from an audiobook I listened to as a child. Looks like you can wear new clothes and still end up being naked if you're not careful about where the clothes come from...

Hi Derek, this is nakedly stolen from you. Thank you(!) for helping me bootstrap my life story.

I wore the same clothes for thirty years. Does that seem too long? Not to me. I didn’t choose to get new ones, exactly, but new considerations overwhelmed my preferences. (My husband likes to remind me we live in four dimensions, and one of them is time.)

After six days of driving I noticed that my clothes felt stiff. I wore them anyway. They felt safe.

Pretty soon we had to make consequential decisions. I went to my suitcase, and pulled out some extra clothes that had made all the difference on certain occasions. They’re the clothes of a soldier on duty. They fit perfectly over my old clothes.
Fortunately, they’re rather invisible.

Mostly I was too tired at night to remember to take off these layers. Sometimes I woke up sweating, and would attempt to remove my armor. But in my dreamy state, I couldn’t. It seemed glued to my old clothes. By morning I needed all my layers. Beside, they had grown comfortable - the stiffness was mostly gone.

Some years passed. I forgot what clothes I was wearing. They were a habit by then.

Importantly, my soldier had served me well - had staked out safe and fertile ground.

One day I looked up. My mentors, none of whom I’ve met, had given me lots of dots, and I was surprised that I was now connecting dots instead of just collecting them.

That’s when I noticed my clothes! And they weren’t glued together. I took them off, and folded them with care. They lie in my closet beside 1870 tintypes and other special objects from long ago. We live in four dimensions, and one of them is time.

A metaphor for much of our persona. Got me to think... Thanks!

Love this write-up.

Interesting that in this time of 'great pause' I'm feeling this too. Thanks for putting it into words!

Can one really throw away all old clothes/ identities?

Just from my pov, some identities are usually anchored on temporary things, e.g. jobs, hobbies etc

But some are anchored on permanent (and sometimes quite nice) things, e.g. kids, beliefs.

Also, there will always be a sock or underwear that can be kept as a foundation to built a new wardrobe. They may be old, but it gives you comfort and assurance to launch towards a new look. No point starting naked and confused when there is a anchor that can guide one when s/he is searching for new things.

Hope this makes sense.

Cheers

Derek,

You have stripped down to the essential you. Why must you put on new clothes? For whose benefit must you? Our old clothes were what were given us before we ever had a choice or sense of how we were dressed, and we have kept and maintained them, because we were supposed to.

"An outfit would show them how I can help. (And that’s all most people want to know.)"

Your clothing, presumably, has nothing to do with your ability to help them. It is merely a uniform to which they have become accustomed.

"They probably can’t use me for anything."

Why/how are you responsible for their laziness? Are you helping them by maintaining their fiction? The uniform allows them distance to more easily use/exploit others, without any work, mentally or morally. And what of the impact on those, who for whatever reason do not display the uniform, though they possess the capabilities?

Can we not dialogue with one another; to hear the other's needs, and express our desire, vision, and ability to help meet those needs?

In the end, in what way may we clothe ourselves? If they do not understand us, in our nakedness, how will they understand what they see, in what we choose to don. If we are dressing for their comfort and convenience, are we not just pulling different old rags from the trunk, and donning them, irrespective of how they fit and feel?

Rudi