Your explanations are not true
We all confabulate without realizing it.
To confabulate is to create an explanation that you believe to be true. “Con” means together, and “fabula” means story or fable, so: to put together a story. Confabulate. To fabricate. When you don’t know why you did something, your subconscious invents an explanation that you think is a fact.
The clearest example comes from people who have a disconnect between the left and right hemispheres of their brain.
A researcher shows a patient a message in his right eye, saying, “Please close the window.” The patient gets up and closes the window. Then the researcher shows a question to that patient’s left eye, “Why did you close the window?” The patient says he chose to do it because he was cold.
A researcher says, to only one ear, “Please walk.” The patient starts walking. Then they ask the other ear, “Why did you walk?” The patient says she was walking because she felt like getting a drink.
The patients don’t think they are inventing explanations. They completely believe that those are the real reasons.
That’s confabulating. Similar to rationalizing: to justify and explain with a rational-sounding reason. We all do it all the time. We think our reasons are true.
Considering this, what should we do?
Stop asking people for explanations, and ignore the ones given. Since our reasons are unknowable, focus on actions.
Doubt your own reasons, no matter how true they seem. Get curious about what your other hidden explanations may be.
What else?
Makes a lot of sense. Actions are the results.
"Judge a tree by it's fruits" is ancient wisdom.
I would still say "intentions matter" because it reveals what kind of results the person is aiming for, what results they consider a hit or a miss or can be expected to course correct towards in the future.
Working out intentions in the past is hard if we tend to make up any story about what happened.
I guess if the brain is constantly rewiring itself in reaction to every complex event at every point in time, it makes sense to treat it as fairly mysterious.
Respecting people who state driving values and prove it with actions while considering they have "a bit of luck" or situational X factor seems to be a practical solution.
It is interesting to see that many religious leaders left nothing but their actions. Those around them were the ones who shared their stories.
So Derek, why did you write this post? ;)
☺ — Derek
You ask, "What else?"
Here is a related powerful tool: If I am thinking about confronting someone at work or in my social life...
and if I am emotional about the situation, with perhaps some dark emotions in my swirling mix,
then to check that I don't have some hidden unworthy-of-me motivations or confabulations,
I will first rigorously ask: What is my intention?
This is because it can be easy to fool myself by focusing on the actions/objectives I want to "see" happen while being dishonest about my unseen goals/intentions around the confrontation.
An unseen goal might be, for example, to punish, revenge, humiliate or remove my own humiliation. I suppose this relates to how a judge may wait until weeks after a trial verdict to be calm enough to set an honest sentence.
Looks like I should ignore confabulate explanation too
For #5, above:
I trust you are not serious. Then again, I realize you could be as serious as the town gossip or folks who forward false social media.
My response: Before "completely ignoring" Derek's explanation, we could look to his intention. To me it's heartwarming how his heart's in the right place. Unlike trolls, Derek is not unkind. Hence he has some credibility.
I am sure one can have, in Derek's words, both doubt and curiosity, at the same time. As scientists do. The opposite, of completely ignoring, would be to live like the crowd in the rock opera "Tommy" from the Who album, where everyone willingly sits around wearing blindfolds and earplugs.
#6, one's heart can be in the right place and they can still be dangerously or lethally wrong (Genghis Khan, Hitler, CIA EHMs). I'm sure all of the cancel culture vixens in California or The View are doing things from the right place yet they have a deleterious effect on culture (group, attendance trophies, anyone?). That's how we get imbeciles like Biden in office. we need to grow up. Heart in the right place is just an idea. Execution, actions, effect are what bring it any volume. One of Derek's points is we are all wrong most of the time because we are dismally, simplistic and borderline innumerate. we can bring this humility to the table and be more forgiving of others. we are all cast under the net of individual and nationwide mental illness.
No country, even the most civilized, is free from some national failing which neighbouring countries will always criticize, either for advantage or solace. It’s a skilful triumph to correct, or at least to conceal, these national faults; you’ll gain credit as unique among your countrymen, for what’s least expected has always been more esteemed. There are also defects of lineage, status, occupation and age which, if they all appear in one person and are not carefully forestalled, will produce an unbearable monster. Sturgeons law dictates that at least 90% of a country's population are incapable of being able to belie their national defects. If 90% of the population of every country are trash, there is no point in being upset with sick people. Spend your life trying to be in the 10% who ate less ill (and striving to be a consummate individual ), and commune with the other 10 per centers.
For some comments above,
Human nature is very prevalent, while ladies and gentlemen are rare. Nevertheless, instead of giving up our sense of community, we can look for the good, project good will, and be nurturing whenever we can.
Rather than surrender the search for truth, we can do as Derek recommends in another post and be like a bat sending out echo locations to multiple sources, and then think things over.
As a guest speaker at a British boarding school said, "Never, never, never give up."
Amen
Love this. I have a tendency to be hyper-rational and ignore my gut when making decisions. Great perspective on how you should take your own rational explanations and reasoning with a grain of salt.
Here you go:
Amusing and unpretentious, by Jason Mraz, here is a gentle and creative music video advising us to "look for the good in everyone."
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2trTOe8YuX0
You're welcome.
Everyone’s brain automatically confabulates an image where your optic nerve is. This is how small objects in your field of view can hide in the retina’s blind spot.
Great point! I had forgotten about this. The origin of the phrase blind spot. Thanks Karl! — Derek
This is great! And likely true (in most situations) :-D
I wish statements people make about something being true or not, would instead be "contextual boundaries".
For instance:
Person A: it's proven that cold showers are great in muscle recovery.
Person B: look at this research that shows the opposite.
Person C: I've tried and got a cold.
I'd welcome a different discourse:
Person A: in this specific context, with this known boundaries and types of people, we observed this, we assumed this and aren't sure about this.
Person B: in this other context + boundaries + types of people + observations + assumptions + uncertainties we observed this.
Now we can have a richer conversation instead of a battle about truths and who is right.
I’m doubtful about any of this, and it sounds like you are too!
Reaching for what to believe is an internal process. What’s my gut telling me? My soul speaks to me about this. What’s the right thing to do? Interestingly, each of these questions or suppositions subtly addresses something different. My gut is an emotional reaction & visceral sense. My soul is my eternal compass for guidance and is a longer perspective. The right thing to do is a moral question yet has an external measure because it reflects back after it’s done. Does this speak to you, Derek?
Neal A. Maxwell wrote a book called "things as they really are". He coined the phrase, "things are as they really are, and not otherwise". The basic premise is, it doesn't matter what others say or believe, we should use God-given tools to know things as the really are. I found it very interesting and corroborates what I believe is much of your premise.
"Since our reasons are unknowable, focus on actions." !! What a gem. Many thanks!
Something I need to work on!
Thanks, Derek.
"All models are false. Some are useful."
-- George Box
"Speculative Philosophy is the endeavor to frame a coherent, logical, necessary system of general ideas in terms of which every element of our experience can be interpreted."
Alfred North Whitehead (-p. 3 of his book 'Process and Reality')
"What is real is what has effects."
-- Kurt Lewin (founder of Social Psychology)
"The cause is hidden; the effect is visible to all."
-- Ovid
genius