Ignore advice that drains you
My music career was derailed when I took some advice from an expert.
When my own music was at its peak success, a famous lawyer said he wanted to work with me. He said I should start a label, sign a few other artists, make them successful too. Then instead of getting me a simple artist deal, he could help me get a deal for the entire label for over a million dollars.
I walked out of his office sad, but acknowledging that he was right. That was the smartest thing to do to be a big success. So that’s what I did. I stopped putting my full attention into my own music, and tried to sign and produce other artists.
I spent two long years on this. But the whole time, I hated it! I only loved my own music. I only wanted to be an artist, not a label.
So, as you can imagine, it didn’t go well. My label was a failure, and my own music career lost momentum because I lost focus.
I wish I had paid attention to my emotions, and not wasted years of my life following someone’s advice.
Point is: You’re going to hear a lot of advice. Listen to it all, but pay close attention to what it does to your energy and focus. If it makes you jump into action, it’s good advice. If it makes you feel drained, sad, or lost, then it’s not for you.
That is cosmic awareness in action, well said.
Cybervixen.tv
So simple, and yet so incredibly true.
In addition to all your great advice I appreciate your humility in admitting your own mistakes and not acting like every word you say is an infallible truth. (Like so many people that write business books.)
I've been reading through your blogs from the beginning and every one of them has something useful I plan to apply.
It can take courage to do what you love!
Thanks for putting that into words, Derek!
It's probably the most valuable piece of advice for anyone at any time of their life, but the sooner the better!
Two years is a long time to ignore the work that really excites you.
And perhaps we all have to learn that lesson the hard way, but it would help if there were more wise souls acting as mentors than the usual, well-meaning advocates for their own blue-chip ideas.
This was the most powerful thing I got from your book! The funny thing is that in the previous chapters, some of your ideas really resonated with me and opened me up to more "out of the box" type approaches to my own career and that taking risks and putting myself out there is necessary. Other things you mentioned pointed my compass directly towards "drain" and I struggled to reconcile between what was good advice and what wasn't as I had made the assumption that your entire perspective is valuable and should be heeded. But this last chapter really sums it all up (honestly...I had wished that the book started this way and then remembered; it's probably more powerful being at the end and came where I needed to hear it most) as it is entirely up to me to filter, strain, and sift through all the suggestions and advice people offer to find the ones that resonate with me. Living a life that is a drain, sucking the life, inspiration and joy out of you is not one worth living. Thank you so much for the reminder of simply noticing what your gut is telling you in terms of excitement or drain. I cannot express to you in words the power of sharing your own decision to engage in what appeared to be really sound advice that surely could have worked but just was not in alignment with who you were so of course, it could not possibly work. THANK YOU!!!
Good! Thank you! I used to end my public speaking presentations with this and the “compass” point, because I think they really are the most important. — Derek
What makes a piece of advice "good" or not is not necessarily directly related to how it makes one feel though. Investing in EFTs is pretty good advice but it's hardly "exciting".
I could agree that if one doesn't resonate with a piece of advice, it'll be very hard to follow it and benefit from it but just ignoring advice on the surface value of how it makes one feel will also lead to a lot of lost opportunity because part of how we feel about something has to do with what we are accustomed to. Lots of things can at first feel unnatural or even wrong simply because it doesn't line up with our current habits or beliefs but might be worth adopting anyway.
Great point! — Derek
Laugh or cry? My own drain advice from others, or brainwashing, that I have not quite released yet, is that if "my room is not cleaned up" (childhood phrase) then I am no good, and have no right to happy projects. (Yes, I had an abusive childhood, but I can't blame that fact, since it should be easy as an adult to declutter)
You might think it is easier to merely declutter than to de-brainwash. Not so. I get depressed when I houseclean, because of the wasted time—I only like to flatline my brain if I am being paid for it. I am coming to believe it is normal for folks like me to have more beloved books than can be put away nice and tidy... which produces a can't-win situation. As a fellow blogger, from the computer-industry, said, "It drives me mad."
Here's a laugh-smile: Minimalists, I have secretly noticed, collect neither tattered books nor art.
(Meanwhile, my books fight with my sculptures for shelf space, while my paintings look on serenely from the security of their walls)
Advice might be TRUE, but NOT USEFUL;)