If you’re not feeling “hell yeah!” then say no
Most of us have lives filled with mediocrity. We said yes to things that we felt half-hearted about.
So we’re too busy to react when opportunities come our way. We miss out on the great because we’re busy with the mediocre.
The solution is to say yes to less.
If you’re not feeling “Hell yeah, that would be awesome!” about something, say no.
It’s an easier decision. Say no to almost everything. This starts to free your time and mind.
Then, when you find something you’re actually excited about, you’ll have the space in your life to give it your full attention. You’ll be able to take massive action, in a way that most people can’t, because you cleared away your clutter in advance. Saying no makes your yes more powerful.
Though it’s good to say yes when you’re starting out, wanting any opportunity, or needing variety, it’s bad to say yes when you’re overwhelmed, over-committed, or need to focus.
Refuse almost everything. Do almost nothing. But the things you do, do them all the way.
Emperor Napoleon said he loved how his wife would always say "no" right away, to give herself time to think.
I do this trick too, both out loud and inside, with others and with myself. Everyone would hate me if I kept them in hopeful suspense as I was thinking in their presence, but no one minds if my quick" no," after I figuratively or literally "go away and think" then turns into a yes.
Thanks, Derek. The older I get the more I understand this message of yours. As you stated in your last 2 sentences; I used to say yes to everything for fear of missing an opportunity. I was easily overwhelmed and over committed for better or worse. Happy to say, for better. However, I'd much rather do the things I can do with a full commitment and a full heart. Thanks, again. Bill
This was probaby the lesson which stood out to me the most when reading "anything you want".
We somebow shifted from a world of scarcity and FOMO into a world of abundance without noticing it, and applying a scarcity mindset when the real issue is having too much opportunity will just leads to being overwhelmed. Hard skill to practice though.
Thank you, even though your book was a vehicle to come back for learn English trough reading and listening, I found a way to thinking. Which I lost last times, because of my mediocrity life. Now I know I have a super-teacher not only for English language but for motivation too. At the last I have appreciation to my great Teacher of English Bruce Lovell for giving me such good way for learning and growing - your book :)
Anna C.
It's very hard to say No to things in life but once someone comes to know that, how to say no with all of follish fallacy in our lives, then it's become so easy to do for what we are born to be. That's one of the greatest life changing lesson as ever i have learnt about. Thanks
I should say no to everything first to find my ‘hell yeah’ thing.
read about this 2 years ago.
still guilty today.
From my background, I'm kind of a people pleaser and perfectionist. Saying No to most things is a big adventure for me. But I love the peace and freedom it gives me so much that it became my new compass.
I’m struggling with a career decision. I’m torn between becoming a civil servant, going back to university later than most, or focusing on reading extensively to gain knowledge and broaden my perspective. I’m a 28-year-old woman
Very wise. I'm enjoying reading your book at the moment.
However, when it comes to meeting people, my default is yes, unless there are red flags, and as long as it won't take much money or time.
The sky's the limit if somehow we click. i.e. the risk to reward ratio can be enormous. Sometimes 'nothing ventured nothing gained' can work out nicely.
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