What happens when we ignore plans?
I took my 7-year-old to London today. I made two plans: if it rains, we go to a museum, if not, we go to the zoo.
But when the train arrived in London, he said he didn’t really want to do either one. So we just walked with no plans.
We immediately ran across some random building with a big art installation on its side. There was nobody around. We played there for a long time.
At each intersection, we just went whichever way looked most interesting. He lept around park benches, tickling some kids from Croatia. He found a huge cardboard box in the trash, and kept it around him like a turtle shell, as we walked through the city. He found a discarded paint brush and twirled it around his fingers for the rest of the day.
We were in front of the theater with the musical “Wicked”, just as they were about to begin. We bought last-minute tickets, 8th row center, and watched the show. He held hands with a girl sitting next to him.
I’m so glad we didn’t follow any plans today.
We make plans to make the most of our time — but thinking again about that idea, that doesn’t make sense, does it?
Unless we’re actually shut out of great things for lack of planning, following no plans is the ideal way to make the best of each moment. Every moment provides new information, which changes the situation. Then we can act on what we know now, instead of what we previously predicted.
I don’t regret having plans, because sometimes following the plan is the best choice.
So I guess the lesson is to make plans, but feel free to ignore them — to see them as an option, not a requirement.
After eight hours of walking, we took a night train home. Tucking him into bed, I asked what was his favorite part.
“The cardboard box.”
Cool story, relates to a request I just received in the middle of my Monday morning while at the office, leaving now to go rub a friends sore feet.
Also reinforces my mood this morning, as a single dad; forcing myself to not fret running a bit late; letting the child sleep in this morning through a rain storm.
Thanks for sharing this one Derek!
Maurice
"... the lesson is to make plans, but feel free to ignore them" -> exactly!
I love to make plans for my trips, but call them "plan B". Plan A is to do whatever I feel like doing in the moment.
If I am strolling around a new city and nothing catches my fancy -- well, that's the time to a have a look at the plan B ;)
Nassim Taleb eagerly describes this as being a Flaneûr instead of a Tourist - this concept is MEGA powerful. Thank you for displaying it in such relatable terms. Saludos.
That's my default behaviour when on sabbaticals (taking a sabbatical week every seventh week, this is inspired by Sean McCabe) plus I do that every Sundays.
I could be at home or traveling away, the same applies (though it's easier to do while away).
Just wonderful. Makes so much sense. Thanks Derek.
It's like the difference between improvisational jazz and classical music. Improvisation versus strictly playing what's written on the page. It is OK to like both kinds of music ...
I love this! Thank you for sharing, Derek! I believe most of life is like a jazz jam... it's all improv - come with the right heart - yearn to understand - improvise and do your best with conviction and intuition to add your flavor and compliment the creative soup - cocreate your bliss!
It is pure joy to live in harmony with life just as it is presented - to joyfully sustain and master the flow state in serenity. What I love most about your blog entry is how it harmonizes with wu-wei! The art of doing more by non-striving but thriving without force. Thank you for sharing this moment of insight and joy. Namaste beloved teacher, Derek!
One of the reasons I don't buy the Central London tourist pass (on a lanyard) is that money-wise you "break even" provided you see two attractions per day. And there is indeed lots to see, 90% of the formal London attractions are in the Centre. Yet, even as an excited eager tourist, I just don't make it to two things per day: Too much quiet random stuff, unplanned, to find.
I can't explain it in words, but I think there is a connection between being looser with plans and being less uptight with one's emotions, meaning: More willing to feel.
I can rationalize my uptightness by saying I am being responsible, but truly, if I am not responsible for being part of a crowd of co-ordinated people, then there is no need to be efficient with my plans. ...Unless I'm responsible to "they," the committee in my head.
If you ask your heart for a plan it will not answer. Only brains love plans.
Kids are amazing creatures! They always reminding us those tiny lit tile things we never gonna pay attention to as an adult. Enjoy every minute with curious kids!
Plans are worthless but planning is everything - Dwight D. Eisenhower
You still planned to go to London and then adapt to reality. Thanks for the lesson shared.
Now that is a great way to be with your kid.
This is reminiscent of something you said on Tim Ferriss's podcast that I've remembered until this day: "Choose the plan with the most options. The best plan is the plan that lets you change your plans."
I love the way Tim Ferriss looks at it. Two week experiments and 6 month projects. That way you can also cut out the things that made sense when you started them but two weeks down the line do not. Six months is enough time to give a project some serious traction.
What’s up Derek, I think you should do posts everyday or as mischief as possible. I like this article, it makes me think about taking a leap of faith and moving to LA. I live in Chicago now and every time I think about planning to move, something distracts me gets in the way or holds me back. A new client, a new project comes or planned money runs out. Maybe I need to make like a shoe and just do it. Sheesh life is fantastic. thanks for posting
Thanks for sharing.
I like this one a lot, but LOVE the punchline 🤣
Love this story Derek. I do plan, with energy at first, and then a steep diminishing curve of enthusiasm. I'm heading off to Seattle for the first time in 12days. I've got the first day to myself to explore the city, I've got a coffee with someone setup - never met him before so will be interesting, then I'll lay out a rough framework and see how it goes...
Maybe I'll find a cardboard box.
Love this! One advice you had that i follow try with my 7 and 8 year old boys is to not put time limits on things where we can. That’s tough with media around—but if they are engaged outside, i try to never pull them away.
Beautiful free flowing spontaneity.. Beautiful as is x
"The cardboard box", always the best present!
I love your common sense ideas for adventure, that we have all but forgotten.
Priceless - a fabulous day it sounds to me...the memory for your boy and the other kids he played with and the girl whose hand he held...you cannot buy those moments...
In 6th grade, I was lucky enough to be an a gifted program where Friday afternoons were deemed "Unstructured Day," where we were left to our own devices.
You have spun it off into real life here. It's magical.
How about pointing out one day per year where we all do this...and see what happens...
"Burning Man" x 8 billion???
Great story, Derek.
This is such a lovely short story. Thanks Derek.
Derek
All I can say is absolutely beautiful. Can’t imagine life getting any better than that. So Cool
Art
First off, I can’t believe your kid is already 7 yrs old! Wow! How time flies.
Second, I always kinda felt bad about the fact that I always make plans but often change course last minute. Thanks for reminding me that it can actually be the right way to go (and not just bad planning on my part).
Lastly, it’s nice to read new posts from you :)
I love this!
I took my boys to London for the day last month when we were back over. We literally did every sightseeing attraction. And their highlight? A Twix we shared as a treat!!
What a Magic day!!!
Yea its great to let life take one to special unforseen places I do do that lots dont go in with plans or expectations
Gorgeous!!!
Love this one Derek. Sometimes life IS happening totally unplanned. I think this is kind of the contrary of feeling overwhelmed. Start the day "underwhelmed" and see where it leads. Hoping for more of those days...
I enjoyed this article a ton.
But you ll never know what you misssed at the museum or zoo☺ I guess that whatever one decides to do, must do it with conviction that that was THE thing to do.
I can’t tell you how much I love that!!!
Live is what happens when we are busy planning. Instead set the direction and enjoy the ride.
I loved your quote "make plans, but feel free to ignore them — to see them as an option, not a requirement". This week I struggled with this concept here in my organization, trying to help a huge redesign on the structure of our IT department. One of the main reasons was the fight between "agile" people and planning people...
"Feel free to ignore the plans" makes me feel so free. Thank you for sharing the amazaing thought!
“The cardboard box.” - priceless
Love everything about this. TY, Derek.
I enjoyed reading this article, Derek. After raising two boys, who have become exceptionally fine men with children of their own, I can certainly agree with the concept of keeping plans flexible. As for me personally, it's a matter of integrity that I must do what I planned to do with others and leave the flexibility of the plan to a consensus. However, when other people are not part of my plan, I am free to change my preconceived destination to gain what is the most profitable in terms of fun, relaxation, or of accomplishment, and it generally turns out to be a better move. You picked the right move, my friend; spending quality time with your son now pays much more dividends later than giving him everything he wants now in lieu of your company.
I'm glad you're having a good time and seeing what's really important in the process, which is the fact that good relationships are priceless.
Love your article. Thanks for sharing this it really resonates with me.
Chris
Kids will often play with the box that the gift came in and ignore the gift. We should give kids boxes for Christmas and birthdays.
The cardboard box. Love it.
Beautiful.
The cardboard box. Of course :)
The Green is always local. It is never in general. Never in the State, the system, the all-regulating bureaucracy. Every true action is small, and it is here, right Here, a barefoot step on dewy grass. To be awake is to carry a little lamp in the night forest, illuminating no more than the next footfall. There is no destination. There is no solution. There are only steps. Solvator ambulando: 'It is solved by walking.' Not marching - walking. I don't protest what is, any more than I resist this breath. I protest the concept, the generalization, the program your mind imposes on me. I celebrate the incomprehensible dance of our molecules when we gaze into each other without ideas. Now let us take a walk, plant a tree.
Alfred LaMotte
It just goes to show that whether you make plans or not, whatever happens, happens.
I love this.... just reinforces how I always feel when people make too many plans. Thanks for your super refreshing outlook on life!
Makes me think of the feather in Forrest Gump that goes where the wind blows. ;)
Plan is like how you see the gain and loss out of a treasure forest, and when and where you go back to home.
I really think, this article tile would be better if changed following this,
Are we really shut out of great things for lack of planning?
Thank you.
Wow excellent!
Since my comment #8 back in October, I returned to London in February. As Derek might say, taking action tested a theory.
I did the theoretically responsible thing, to "get the most bang for my buck," to make the most of my time, of buying the Lonely Planet Guide for London.
The guide was super detailed, and rather heavy, and—I always left it in my room. Walked without it. In fact, before I left London I gave it away, because I wouldn't want it on my next trip.
With all due respect to experts, I found out I didn't want to use their plans for where to walk. As other commenters here would say, maybe this meant my brain got less bang, but my heart had more fun.
This is so beautiful. I'm so glad your son gets you for a dad. Thank you for writing.
My favorite line "Every moment provides new information, which changes the situation. Then we can act on what we know now, instead of what we previously predicted."