When in doubt, try the difference

I'm just about to start a new project I've been postponing for so long.. I'll finally know if this works... Thanks Derek for your simple words. All the best

Beautiful in both impact and simplicity, thank you Derek 💝

Great advice if you're already affluent & financially secure or young.

Not so good in other circumstances, and possibly very high risk and foolish.
Why? What's the worst that could happen? — Derek

Why? What's the worst that could happen? — Derek

You leave a secure job and you are then unable to get another. Or your decision turns out to be a bad move and you are unable to return to your previous situation which it turns out wasn't so bad after all. You need to think carefully before burning bridges.

Two thoughts: (1) = Time frame: Unable to get another secure job EVER? And if you were unhappy with the previous one enough to quit, then why stay with it? There are plenty “not so bad after all” jobs. (2) = I approach everything as an experiment, so that colors my advice. — Derek

This echoes a sentiment I heard on the Two Psychologists Four Beers podcast, and mixing all of this content together really resonates with me.

The other branches of argument that makes this article make so much sense is:
Making a pros & cons list for smaller things makes sense, and you can get a return on the time invested and decisions made if you "agonize" over which car is the best to buy, or even which workout to spend time on. The bigger and more transformational the decision (eg moving to a new city / country, changing careers, having kids), the less meaning a cost-benefit analysis has, because the person you will be, and the things you might discover about yourself, the way you see the world might change to such an extent that a cost benefit analysis can't encompass that type of change, and really you can't make accurate predictions about the effect these will have on your life.

In the same sense it's easier to justify things you have done (including taking the action of stopping something you are doing now), than justifying a thing you never did. Eg you buy a house, and there is something for you to grab onto: "This was the right decision, because I've had so many happy memories here; This was the right decision, because I have so many friends in this area", but it's difficult to have a story about why you didn't buy a house, and then to justify your decision with "I didn't have / get / experience ...".

All roads lead to: try it.

Hi!Derek! Honestly, I'm always in doubt but have tried to be positive.I wanted to resign on my job now but which "something new" i should choose.There are many things that makes me feel anxious.I try to write down all the pros and cons but i couldn't decide .Any advice how i should be a good in de

Reminds me of a Freakonomics experiment, www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/08/quitting-your-job-and-other-life-choices/495122/ and 80000hours.org/2018/08/randomised-experiment-if-youre-really-unsure-whether-to-quit-your-job-or-break-up-you-really-probably-should/ for background.

thanks for this. I'm doing some vision work today and two big themes were independence and minimalism. I'm going to do this exercise for my stuff. I have a feeling I will be getting rid of most of it which will feel great.

"What's the worst that could happen?" I've done that exercise many times in my life. Once I moved back to my hometown to take over a family business. I was making great money but really unhappy with my life. So I left the business, moved, and started a different career in technology. I'm married, had two kids (third on the way at the time). I lost all the money I had in the business...but I'd do it all again. It was a difficult lesson to learn but a valuable one nonetheless. I think people underestimate their capacity to succeed in adversity and want to avoid the discomfort of letting go. But you can always go back.

Case in point I quit a job I didn't like to pursue a business. Recently there was an opening on the team. I had the opportunity to go back but chose not to because I really enjoy what I'm doing right now. I count the day I quit that job as the day I "retired"...meaning for the first time in my adult life I began living intentionally to do things I love.

I absolutely _love_ the storage idea. I'm going to suggest this to my wife when my daughters leave and we downsize. Put everything in storage and move into a small apartment. Only pull out of storage what we really miss. Great idea Derek, thanks.

We did something similar with clothing. We both had far too many clothes - especially my wife. Someone (probably online) recommended that we hang all the hangers so the opening was pointing towards us (the opposite of the natural way to hang a hanger). Then, when we wore something, we'd flip the hanger and use the more natural direction. After some period (6 months or so for us) we got rid of the clothing that was still hanging 'backwards.'

There were some caveats of course: some things were special and rarely worn (don't throw out your tux if you think you'll need it). But it was a useful exercise and resulted in a slimmed down, more-efficient closet.

"Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth). Make the growth choice a dozen times a day."

- Maslow

it's relaxing reading this, i wish i felt i had the guts to do it at that extreme.

Thought provoking article! I'm trying the storage idea, moving from 2 br to 1 br apartment to be closer to work and places I enjoy. Then eventually get rid of storage all together. I like the erasing pc/phone and contacts, and only adding those that communicate with you.

I suppose if a timid guy like me errs on the side of yes then I will stay "leaning in" to life. For little things I mean, not for big things that I am too timid for.

As Steve at around #12 would note, I am "pulling a Maslow."

I will tell you what's funny: If I take lots of little risks people think I'm braver than I really am, and—who knows?—maybe they think I have charisma. OK, nobody says that word, but they say similar nice things about me.

"May you live in interesting times." ~Chinese curse (purported) ;-)

"Put everything you own into storage." This is genius. The Minimalists also discuss this trick in depth on their blog. They call it a Packing Party: www.theminimalists.com/packing/

I started facing my intimidations about 6 years ago. The biggest realization I've had with following through was how little I enjoyed most of the goals/desires/wants I'd come to identify with after years of pining for them.

I realized all those not-followed-through things were actually obstacles to discovering what it was a truly might enjoy. Who I might actually be.

Each time I finally followed through, I also conflated the rush of finally following through with an affinity for the activity. The novelty of most of these activities wore off very quickly (after 2-3 repetitions), and it initially confused me.

I eventually realized that the rush came from finally following through, overcoming the intimidation. And most often, I realized that I didn't actually enjoy the activity once that activity was no longer intimidating.

I realized that a lot of what I'd come to tell myself was "me" was more like a collection of vague ideas that I had come to believe I would like to be included in my definition of myself. But without any actual first-hand experience of any of those things.

What I thought I wanted had come to obscure my ability to see what it might be that I actually did want.

thanks Derek - well-put and instant answers to "how can i make some change?" Putting everything we thought we'd need in storage, after giving/selling some of what we did have and moving to a different city has been painful at times but we quickly noticed how little we missed or needed those things. We are better off for having done it (forced to do it) and thankful for the learnings its afforded us. thanks!

Great work as always.I find it challenging to juggle being responsible and being adventurous. You inspire me to think differently and I appreciate that about you.

"Every time you start to do something out of habit, interrupt the pattern and try the opposite way instead." I love this. My biggest takeaway from this post, and I'm going to adopt this and make it a regular monthly check or something like that.
Thanks

I've recently ended up in just such a situation. It was difficult at first, but I've since come into a calmness and self-assuredness that has been missing from my life for, well, forever. Highly recommended for people to try.

Hi Derek. I just launched a new service to help start-up and small business owners. I also publish for free a guide on how to start a business from scratch. You can get a copy at byobosscoop.com. Feel free to give it away. If you like what you see I am hoping you will blog about it sometime. So many people have great business ideas but never pursue them because they have no idea where to begin. We can help. Thanks

i learn English from your articls everyday.your articls are easily understanding.i got the successful feeling from them.thank you very much

Derek I am one of those persons that think out things sometimes just too too much. Some of what you say I will agree. I do remember when I moved years ago. I loved where I lived experiencing new people and cultures. Before moving I would think I need to pay this bill I need to do this or that. I would never have gotten to my new location. Somethings I believe I have to think through before I jump. What I love now about your articles we can hear what words need to be stressed for enhances. Thank you sir and have a great day. I really appreciate and have appreciated your articles. Its good food for thought.

Hey this is bad advice.

Take it from someone who just quit a job I liked with people I loved after reading this page. And there's no way to get back into it.

I'd change this to what Naval had written "If you can't decide the answer is no". I wouldn't have jumped ship if I couldn't decide.

Thanks for nothing Derek.
“we’ll see…” — Derek

@Ashwin (Comment #25)

All advice is bad. To me the word advice should be synonymous with "bad idea". Listen to what people say, fine, but make up your own mind.

Also, I know how you feel. People say "You should do this!" and I go "Okay!" and it doesn't work.

You have to judge your own situation. What works for others probably won't work for you. Advice is never a substitute for learning to examine the variables, and it never cushions the blow from taking a chance. Not ever.

People who stuck in self doubt mostly know what they should do, what they need is courage. This post serves as a confirmation ans courage booster. "Look, this is exactly what Derek would do and has already been doing, so I should do it too, it will not be a mistake."

Love this idea, it feels so invigorating!!

i have trouble of letting go of things. i dont want to lose memories attached to them. but i will try. thanks for the ideas

I love the get rid of it and simplify approach. It does feel good to start over often. it is very energizing!

Love it

Perfect inspiration for me as i build my 2.0

Finally deactivated Facebook. Never felt better.

Fucking brilliant. Simple is brilliant.

I love this. Can you come on my podcast? Email me if you do!

Love,
The Curious Nobody

Hi Derek, Awesome words. If it is possible to add me to your distribution list I will be great. I like to read your writings

Love thus article!!!! Thank you!

It’s easy for me to think I’ll be happier if i quit my job. But i do wonder if it’s better to be free from thoughts like this.