You are what you pretend to be
Your outside doesn’t need to match your inside.
You can feel terrified inside, but just pretend to be brave for one minute. By doing that, you were actually brave.
You might be a total introvert, but need to attend an event, so you act social for one hour. By pretending to be social, you were.
You can imitate your role model. Many top performers have an alter ego — a Jekyll to their Hyde or vice-versa — a side of themselves they personify and bring out when needed. It’s not Maria who negotiates. It’s El Tigre.
I wasn’t usually in the mood to be a good dad. But knowing how important it is, I’d collect my strength and do the right thing for a few minutes or hours — a short burst of being who my boy needed me to be. After years of that, we have an amazing relationship, and he tells everyone he has the best dad ever.
You are your actions. Your actions are you. Your self-image doesn’t matter as much.
When you realize what you need to do, it doesn’t mean that’s who you need to be. You can just pretend.
When I was training in theatre my teacher handed out “fast Stanislavsky” lists, saying if you want to be seen as X, do Y.
One young man in the group had always been quiet till then but his list instructed him to “take off your shirt to be seen as the life and soul of the party.”
It worked like magic. His outer performance transformed who he became.
Other people’s list had similarly huge effects.
Wow! Vivid example. Thank you. — Derek
Pretending creates action... average action spesifically, and so do average result.
The thing that I regret the most is spending 15 years pretending, doing average action, and having average result.
Some say action is everything, it has + value... idea is nothing, it has - value... when you multiply those two values, you get the idea is the -1,000,000 worth.
When I was created a great machine, I knew the difference between being average and being great.
Look like the same at outside, but at the inside is imensely different... and the performance is different too.
Human feels guilty by not doing ( procrastinate ) action, but they're not gulity by doing average action n having average result.
It is a law of the human mind that I can act myself into believing quicker than I can believe myself into acting.
There is a flip side to "you are what you do."
If you do unworthy things, such as hurried messy work, or trying to work while still drunk from earlier, nobody sees inside to your nice "good intentions," they just see that you didn't control yourself... because to them you are what you do.
Derek, that's such good advice. I often find myself in these situations which make me feel like I'm just not being the person I 'should' be. And that's really frustrating and draining. Many times the rest of the day is lost in the regret of not being the perfect guy in that particular situation. You're right - pretending is maybe the solution, at least for a few moments.